Category: Politics

Like a little more satirical meat on your humor sandwich? Ever wonder what very stupid customers view as topical? Even worse, see what happens when these people decide they want to vote! Don’t blame the state of the world on the government, blame it on them!

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Making Rioja Cold Again

| Omaha, NE, USA | Food & Drink, Politics

(I work as a receptionist for a nail salon, and like most American nail salons, the owners and most of the staff are East Asian immigrants.)

Client: “Thanks so much for fitting me in, and with [Nail Tech], too. I just love this place! You girls have a great day!”

(She leaves, and I let out a VERY annoyed sigh once she’s out the door.)

Me: “So the woman who just left? She had a Trump button and a ‘Make America Great Again’ t-shirt on.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. She also asked me to put ice in her red wine.” *pause* “I honestly don’t know which of those things pisses me off more.”

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The Flowers Were Either Red Or Blue

| USA | Bizarre, Politics

(I’m delivering flowers and it’s obvious by the big bouquet that I’m carrying. I go to ring the doorbell of one house, and no one answers. I call up the customer’s number, but no one answers. My boss always yells at me if I return with them, so I keep trying. I see two eyes peep at me from a curtain and disappear, and I can see a car parked in the garage, so I know that someone’s home. As a last resort, I decide to just leave the flowers, but then the door opens.)

Woman: “Oh!”

Me: “Flowers for [Name].”

Woman: “Sorry, I thought that you were one of those political people!” *takes bouquet* “Who wouldn’t want these?” *shuts door*

(I guess political people are carrying flowers now?)

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You Must Be Mad(iba)

| UK | Extra Stupid, Politics

(This happens just a few days after Nelson Mandela died last year. Customer has bought two newspapers and is tutting as he handed them over.)

Customer: “What’s that Morgan Freeman done to get all over the front pages this time?”

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Banking On Trump

, | FL, USA | Politics

(I work in customer service for credit cards for a major bank. The call volume is unusually slow for the night, probably due to the first Presidential Debate of 2016.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name?”

(I gain access to their account and assist with a payment. At this rate, I’m hoping it is just a quick call, as my shift is about to end in a few minutes.)

Me: “Okay, Mr. [Customer]. That’s all set. Is there anything else I may assist with tonight?”

Customer: “Yeah! Make sure you get out and vote in November. We need to make America great again, and only Trump can do that! He’s our last hope against Hillary.”

Me: *brief pause* “Well, I can understand the concern. All right, then, I want to thank you for being such a loyal card-member. Have a great night!”

(At this point, I am trying to avoid any political talk, and I probably could have phrased it differently or at least acknowledged I would be voting.)

Customer: “You’re voting, right?! You didn’t say if you’d be voting. I hope to god you’re voting for Trump. If [Bank] is supporting Hillary I’m closing all my accounts.”

Me: “To be honest, I was trying to not directly answer the question. It is not quite professional of me to discuss political opinions, seeing as that is not about your account at all.”

Customer: “You’re allowed to have an opinion! You’re a person too, you know. [Bank] should let you be able to speak freely if you want to.”

Me: “Yes… But as you also just stated, if you thought I was going for Hillary, you were going to close all your accounts with [Bank]. I’m not saying if I’m voting for Trump or Hillary, because it has no stance with [Bank] at all. Is there anything else I may assist with tonight?”

Customer: “I guess not.”

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Obama-Careless, Part 4

| MI, USA | Health & Body, Politics

(I’m an accountant for a retirement community. A long-time resident is moving from our condos to our skilled nursing unit, and I’m helping her daughter navigate the many financial issues related to that. Specifically, I’m discussing Medicaid, which will be paying for Mom’s room in nursing.)

Me: “To be eligible for Medicaid, your mother will have to have less than two thousand dollars in liquid assets. So she’ll need to pay for part of the first month out of pocket to get down to that level.”

Daughter: “Less than two thousand bucks? That’s not much money. How is she supposed to live on that little?”

Me: “I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it should cover all personal expenses, and Medicaid will cover the bulk of the charges for her care here.”

Daughter: “You know, I wish someone would overthrow the government and get rid of stupid rules like that.”

Me: “If someone overthrows the government, Medicaid will disappear entirely and you’ll be responsible for a bill of almost nine thousand dollars every month.”

Daughter: “Less than two thousand sounds good.”

Related:
Obama-Careless, Part 3
Obama-Careless, Part 2
Obama-Careless

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