Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

Pretend You Weren’t Listening

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Technology

(I work in an electronics store and we sell speakers and sound bars for TVs. We sometimes sell our display units if we are out of stock. One of my coworkers has been talking to a customer about one for ages, but since he is about to leave, he says the customer is happy with it and asks me to pack it up for him. The customer has been watching me struggle with the packaging for about five minutes.)

Customer: “Thanks for packing that up for me; that looked like it was a hard one to do.”

(I’m currently putting tape over the box, sealing it in there.)

Me: “Yeah, it was. You get used to doing it while working, but sometimes it’s particularly difficult. I’m glad I FINALLY got it in though; sorry for taking so long.”

Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have a listen to it now?”

Me: “…”

Music Went From Lucky To Sucky

| GA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

(I DJ at a theme park that has a built in water park. I am happily jamming to ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk by the wave pool when a guest approaches my DJ booth.)

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, who makes the play list for the water park?”

Me: “I do, sir, but all the songs on my laptop have been pre-approved by upper management.”

Guest: “Well I have my eight-year-old with me, and she is asking what ‘get lucky’ means. What do you expect me to tell her?!”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir. I am very sorry my music selection has offended you. I didn’t mean any harm.”

Guest: *harumph* “I am taking this to upper management!”

(The man proceeds to tell my supervisor, who talks him out of taking his complaint any further by promising the song will be deleted and no longer played.)

Supervisor: *to me* “Meh, I like that song. If he was smart he would have just told his kid the song meant winning the lottery or something.”

(The rest of the time that particular guest was there, I played super safe things like The Beach Boys. But after that day, I have continued to play that song regularly.)

Doesn’t Always Take Practise, Practise, Practise…

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Hall of Fame, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

(My grandfather and I are taking a tour of a world-famous opera house many years ago when this happens:)

Tour Guide: “And now, we are in the stage area, where—”

Grandfather: *singing* “La la la la la!”

Tour Guide: “What was that, sir?”

Grandfather: “Now I can say I sang on stage at [Famous Opera House]!”

The Big Bang Was Not A One-Time Event

| Lawton, OK, USA | Musical Mayhem, Technology

(At the store a customer left their phone behind. Per store policy, we can hold the phone for the customer, but we can’t answer it if it rings, in case the customer then tries to claim that we either broke or tampered with it.)

Coworker: “You look stressed.”

Me: “I am!”

Coworker: “Why?”

Me: “Because the phone has the ENTIRE theme to The Big Bang Theory as the ringtone. And it won’t… stop… ringing…”

Formatting Error

| IN, USA | Musical Mayhem, Technology

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to return a set of CDs. They don’t work.”

Me: “Well, I can only offer you an exchange on a defective CD. Tell you what, let me take a look at it and we’ll figure out what’s wrong.”

(The customer puts a box set of a very popular audiobook on the counter. I have a hard time believing every single CD in the set is defective.)

Me: “So tell me; what happened when you tried to play the CDs?”

Customer: “I bought the CDs so I could listen to them on my portable CD player while I jog, but every time I put a CD in and hit play, nothing happens. The CDs are obviously broken.”

Me: “I don’t suppose you’d happen to have your CD player with you, do you?”

(The customer pulls out the oldest-looking CD player I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s gigantic, has big chunky buttons, and practically screams ‘late 1990’s.’)

Me: “Oh, that explains a lot. I think I see the problem. See here on the CD cases? It reads, “Mp3 on CD.” That means that the tracks on this CD are in .mp3 format, like what you’d play on an iPod. Your CD player was probably made before mp3s were around. That’s why you can’t play the CDs on this player.”

(The customer looks terrified.)

Customer: “I don’t understand you!”

Me: “Well, it just means that your CD player is too old to recognize the format that the data on those CDs is in.”

Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re saying! I’m no good with technical stuff!”

Me: “Um… it’s just the form that the information on the CDs is in. It’s called an mp3. Your CD player came out before mp3s did, so it doesn’t know how to read the information.”

Customer: “That’s not what it says on the box, though!”

Me: “Yes it is. It says so right there in big letters: ‘Mp3 on CD.'”

Customer: “It says ‘Mp3 OR CD!'”

Me: That’s an ‘N.’ It says ‘on.’ It means that the information on those CDs is in mp3 format.”

Customer: *squinting at the box* “Oh, really? Well, then, I’d like a refund, since I can’t play these CDs.”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s illegal to return opened CDs in this state. The only thing I can do is exchange it for the exact same item if it’s defective, which it isn’t.”

Customer: “But how am I supposed to play these CDs?!”

Me: “Do you have a computer?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t know how it works! I’m no good with technical stuff!”

Me: “You could try ripping those CDs to your computer and playing them through iTunes or Windows Media Player.”

(The customer stares at me as though I’d suddenly started speaking in tongues.)

Me: “Sorry. I meant, you could put the CD into the disc drive of the computer and listen to it that way.”

Customer: “I. DON’T. KNOW. WHAT. YOU’RE. SAYING.”

Me: “Do you have anyone else at home who could help you use the computer?”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE THE COMPUTER! I’M NO GOOD WITH TECHNICAL STUFF!”

Me: “I just meant that maybe someone else could help you get the information off the CDs so you could listen to them. It’s the best solution, since you can’t return them.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no! I’m no good with technical stuff! I don’t understand you at all! This is so confusing!”

Me: “There’s really nothing else I can do for you, then. I’m sorry.”

Customer: *sighs, scoops up her CDs, and walks to the door muttering* “I don’t understand computers at all. This is so confusing. I don’t understand!”

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