Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

Her Relaxing Is Taxing

| Allentown, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a fair trade store. Like most stores, we play music over speakers throughout the day.)

Customer: “It’s too loud!”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your music! It’s too loud!”

Manager: “No one else seems to think so; it’s certainly not as loud as they play in several of the other stores here. I’m friends with the manager at [Makeup Store] and their music is much louder.”

Customer: “That’s different! You’re not a REAL store!”

Manager: “…What?”

Customer: “You’re not a retail store! You’re fair trade! You’re a non-profit! You shouldn’t be acting like a real store!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we are a retail store. Our company is non-profit, that’s true, but retail stores is how we fulfill our mission.”

Customer: “You’re different! I come in here to relax, and I don’t expect it to be like other stores!”

Manager: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Is there something special I can help you find today?”

Customer: “What? No! I never spend money in here. I just walk around to relax!”

Hold That Note

| Norway | Musical Mayhem

(The computers at work are very slow, and while on the phone with a customer, this happens:)

Caller: *asking for information about her dog*

Me: “I can look it up for you on the computer, but it will take a little while, because our system is a bit slow.”

Me: *humming on a song while typing*

Caller: “Wow, you make your own hold music.”

Fought The Customer With Expert Timing

| Omaha, NE, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a medical clinic and I have a little fun with a patient one day when she complains her kids keep “kung fu-ing” her front door.)

Patient: “They just kept kung fu-ing the door and I kept telling them to stop.”

Me: “Oh, so, everybody was kung fu fighting?”

Patient: “Yes, and I told them to just swing at the air, not hit the door.”

Me: “Were they fast as lightning?”

Patient: “No, and it was scary, I thought they were gonna wreck my door.”

Me: “I bet it was a little bit frightening.”

Patient:“Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door!”

Me:“Hey, [Patient], c’mon, I just gave the first part of the song. Don’t leave me hangin’ here”.

Patient: “I know, but I don’t know the rest of the song!”