Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

Raising A Voodoo Child

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

(I have been a music instructor for over three decades. An angry mom confronts me before her son’s drum lesson.)

Angry Mom: “Why are you showing my son all of these heavy metal and rock songs to play drums to?”

Me: “Because he asked me to. He seems to like that type of music.”

Angry Mom: “He most certainly DOES NOT like that music. It’s overtly sexual, violent and demonic. Why can’t you show him good music? Instead of this Metallica and ACDC garbage.”

Me: “Good music?”

Angry Mom: “YES! Good music. The 60s. Jimi Hendrix. The Beatles. The Rolling Stones?”

Me: “Maybe ‘Hey Joe,’ by Jimi Hendrix?”

Angry Mom: “Exactly!”

Me: “‘I’m just going down to shoot my old lady, I caught her messing around with another man….’ That ‘Hey Joe?'”

Angry Mom: “Yes! The classics!”

Try Before You Psy

| USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a store that sells movies, games and music among other memorabilia. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this CD.”

Me: “I can offer you store credit, and you can use it to purchase anything in the store.”

Customer: “Well, I was looking for this same CD but in English.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “My daughter asked me for this CD, but it seems I made a mistake, as it’s all in Chinese! I want the CD in English.”

(She shows me the CD in question, and I see it’s a ‘Girls’ Generation’ album, a Korean girl group.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; this album is of a Korean girl group. They sing in Korean.”

Customer: “Korean, Chinese, whatever, I just want the American version with the songs in English!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, they’re Korean singers. They sing in Korean. They have Japanese albums too, but we don’t have them, though.”

Customer: “So they’re not in English?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “Then why the h*** do I want to listen to it if I can’t understand it?”

The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am working in the largest gift shop in the theme park. I am walking around straightening and folding the when I hear a middle-aged guests whistling. After a few moments, I recognize it as the theme tune to ‘The Animaniacs’.)

Me: *singing* “Pinky and the Brain, they want rule the universe…”

Guest: “…Slappy slaps them with her purse…”

Me: “…Buttons chases Mindy while Rita sings a verse!”

Together: “Why write a script? We have no script! Why bother to rehearse? We are the Animaniacs! We have pay-for-play contracts! We are zany to the max, there’s baloney in our slacks! We’re Animany, totally insany—”

Guest: *Wakko voice* “Where’s Lon Chaney?”

Together: “Animaniacs! Those are the facts!”

Guest: *high-fives me* “It was nice jammin’ with you, Dot.”

(I beamed for the rest of the night.)