Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

Needs A System That’s The Cat’s Meow

| USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Pets & Animals, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work for a company that sells audio equipment.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I help you with an order? ”

Customer: “I need your system!”

Me: “Well, we have a lot of great items in our product line, but you’ll have to be more specific. What system are you looking at today?”

Customer: “The CD player! I had one but it broke and I need yours to play my special CDs!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t understand. What kind of special CDs do you want it to play?”

Customer: “The ones I got for my cat. It’s special music to help felines relax.”

Me: “So they’re regular CDs for your cat. Okay, I can help with that.”

Customer: “I alternate back and forth, one CD of his music, then one of mine. It has to play both.”

Me: “I can assure you that on the [Model Name] you’ll both be able to enjoy your favorite songs together.”

Customer: “Oh, no. No, we can’t do that. He’s in kitty heaven now, but will it play his CDs?”

Always The Same Old Song

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Money, Musical Mayhem

(I am DJing an office Christmas party. A guy who had made tons of requests, most of which I’d played, approaches my workstation.)

Guy: “Where’s my request?”

Me: “I’ve been playing your requests where they fit.”

Guy: “Well, play [Specific Song] next.”

Me: “I’ll get it in soon, but I don’t think it’ll be next. I’ve got a lot of requests coming in, so I have to play them where they fit.”

Guy: “Don’t worry about anyone else’s requests. I’m the boss. Just play my requests.”

Me: “Oh, good. You’re the boss? Then where’s my cheque?”

Guy: “What?”

Me: “Well, since nobody’s bothered to come over and introduce themselves to me yet, I didn’t know who to come find to collect payment.”

Guy: “So, just play my request whenever you can…”

Waxing Lyrical On The Lyrics

| Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

Elderly Customer: “I’m trying to learn this song. Do you have music for ‘Your Mind Is On Vacation And Your Mouth Is Workin’ Overtime’?”

Me: “No, but now I want to learn it, too!”

Elderly Customer: “No s***, right?!”