Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

The Son Of Mondegreen

, | USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I am looking for new albums in a music store when I overhear a conversation.)

Customer #1: *singing ‘The Monster,’ a song of Eminem ft. Rihanna* “I’m friends with the monster, the son of my bed.”

Customer #2: “Your lyrics are wrong. It’s ‘that’s under my bed.'”

Customer #1: “Seriously, how can a monster fit under a bed?”

Customer #2: “‘The monster under the bed’ is an expression used by children and the song uses this expression to depict the artist’s struggles in overcoming his demons. And besides, how can a monster be a son of a bed?”

Unharmonious Harmonica

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a musical instrument store. On our counters we have small grab-and-go items, including mini harmonicas that some people purchase as pendants for jewelry but also work as an instrument. I have just rung up Customer #1 and am in the middle of ringing Customer #2 when Customer #1 takes one of the harmonicas and starts blowing through it.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir.Were you planning on purchasing that today?”

Customer #1: “Of course not. I don’t play harmonica.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but now that you have used that one I have to ask you to buy it.”

Customer #1: “That’s ridiculous. I was just testing it out.”

Me: “I’m sorry but it’s for sanitary reasons. I cannot sell that now that you have used it. These are not a demo product.”

Customer #1: “There’s no sign. Why shouldn’t I try it? I’m not buying that. I don’t need it.”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry, but now that you’ve put your mouth on it I can’t sell it to anyone else. Would you buy something that required you to put your mouth on it knowing someone else had as well?

Customer #1: “I don’t have a problem with that.”

Customer #2: “Well, I do. What if I bought that for my daughter and you had some kind of herpes or something?”

Customer #1: “Whatever. I’m leaving and never coming back to this f****** store again. No one has ever told me before I couldn’t try them.”

(Just before he walked away he threw the harmonica he had tried back in the bowl and shook it so I wouldn’t be able to tell which one he had his mouth on. I then had to damage out the whole lot.)

Going Into A Song And Dance Over It

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(A customer is buying over $200 worth of used CDs, most of which are missing barcodes and have to be manually entered. To boot, they are mostly classical, which means they’re covered in text, often in different languages, etc., and it’s hard to pick out the information I need.)

Customer: “Is there any way this can go any faster? I’m in quite a hurry.”

(Yes, I’m sure he picked out all 50 friggin’ CDs in QUITE a hurry.)