Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

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Scoring A Perfect Ten

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

Customer: “What is the difference between this pack of 3 clarinet reeds (size 1.5) and this box of 10 clarinet reeds (size 1.5)?”

Me: “Seven reeds.”

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The Day The Music Died

| IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(This happens to my coworker. I work in a shop that sells instruments. A customer actually comes into our shop and says the following:)

Customer: “I have a $50 gift card to Amazon and I’d like to use that to buy an instrument on Amazon. Can you tell me what brand of instrument I should buy?”

Coworker: *facepalm*

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And When The Night Falls, Customer Calls

| ID, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem

(Companies call me when they need a truck to come pick something up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Trucking Company]. Pick up team. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to schedule a pick up.”

Me: “Okay. Can I have the phone number for the pick up location?”

(The customer provides this, which brings up the account and info for location. I continue talking with customer and in-putting info, until we begin reaching the end of the call, so I begin to close the conversation.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

(In the background you can clearly hear a male voice singing ‘I want to dance with somebody’ very loudly.)

Customer: “Nope, I think that will be it; thanks for your help.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Okay. Thank you for your business; please remain on the line for a one-question survey and have a great day!”

Customer: *sounds like he also wants to laugh* “Thank you; you, too. Goodbye!”

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For The First Time In Forever, There Is A Good Frozen Joke

| NH, USA | Musical Mayhem, Popular

(It is the end of a Sunday shift at the bookstore, and a younger couple come up with their daughter. I tend to look very serious and deadpan, especially as I dress very formally for being just out of my teens, with a tie and waistcoat being very common. The customer places a book of ‘Frozen’ piano music that had been heavily discounted on the counter.)

Customer: “[Daughter] is going to love this. She’s needed more music.”

Customer’s Husband: “Yeah, but not looking forward to hearing Let it Go over and over.”

Customer: “I wonder why it’s so cheap, though.”

Me: *as I hand them the receipt* “Bribes from noise-canceling headphone companies.”

(They both looked surprised for a second, then started laughing as they walked out, telling me to have a good day.)

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A Song With The Perfect Ending

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(I am a high energy, cheerful person who works in a cafe inside a large building. Part of my cheer is musical; I sing and hum, often without even noticing that I am. You can hear me in the cafe where I work and a little in the dining room but I definitely am not belting it out. A customer comes in, already in a foul mood, and after listening to me sing for about thirty seconds, goes off.)

Customer: “You’re so loud; stop it! I’m having a horrible day and you are disturbing me! I don’t want to hear it! STOP! STOP! STOP!”

(I stop singing. About a minute later I absently start humming softly to myself as I brew coffee and she goes off again.)

Customer: “I TOLD YOU TO STOP. SHUT UP!”

Me: “Ma’am, you said stop singing because I was too loud. I stopped singing. I was just humming, very quietly.”

(The customer turns to a random other old woman and starts ranting.)

Customer: “She’s so annoying; she always does stuff like this! I can’t stand her! Isn’t she terrible?!”

(The other customer just looks uncomfortable and keeps doctoring her coffee silently. I bite my tongue and say with as much sincerity as I can muster:)

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry you are having a bad day. I hope it gets better.”

Customer: “My day will get better when I leave!”

(She sneers at me and I just smile calmly back.)

Me: “Mine will, too.”

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