Category: Movies & TV

Trying To Go Above Her Stations

, | SD, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(I work in sales in a call center for a cable company. We are converting cable channels to digital format, so customers that don’t have equipment are losing their signal. A customer calls tech support because a lot of her channels stop working, and the tech support rep transfers the call to me. All she is paying for is basically local stations, but before she is getting the entire expanded basic lineup that was apparently leaking through. She wants to get her channels back, therefore the following conversation ensues.)

Me: “This is [My Name] from sales. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not getting my stations anymore.”

Me: “Okay, to assist, what channels were you looking for?”

Customer: *names stations in higher package*

Me: “Okay, so it looks like those stations are in [X package]. Right now, you are paying for [Y package]. To upgrade, you’re looking at about $40 more per month.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want to pay for that. I just want my stations back.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, in order to get those channels, you will need [X package].”

Customer: “Why can’t you just give me my stations back?”

Me: “Since you are only paying for [Y package], you will only get those channels from now on. I apologize about any confusion. If you would like to upgrade to [X package] and get the channels included, the price is [price]. We can go ahead and upgrade you now and get that back for you. Also, we won’t even back-charge you for the free cable you have been getting for the last three years.”

Customer: “You guys are crooks.” *hangs up*

Requires A Herculean Effort To Make Them Understand

| Richmond, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work at an automotive parts store, and we say the name of our store in the greeting when we answer phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What time is Hercules playing tonight?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is [Store]. You have the wrong number.”

Customer: “I’d like to buy tickets to see Hercules.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. This is not the movie theater.”

Customer: “Why can’t you sell me tickets? What kind of movie theater is this? Can I speak to a manager?!”

(I put the customer on hold and tell my manager the story.)

Manager: *on the phone*  “Hercules is playing at eight pm tonight and we have two tickets here for you at the counter. Have a nice night.”

Horrifically Bad Timing

| MB, Canada | Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Popular

(I am delivering pizza. I am going up to a house at about 11 pm and ring the doorbell. Immediately I hear a blood-curdling scream of absolute terror. A face looks out the window next to the door.)

Customer: *behind the door* “Oh, thank god!”

(Upon opening the door, it turned out the couple were watching a horror movie, and I had rung the doorbell at the exact wrong moment.)

Customers Are A Bunch Of Slave-Drivers

| Onamia, MN, USA | Movies & TV

(Someone orders some mozzarella sticks under the name Spartacus. I go to bring them out and call the name. As I did, a man stood up and announces:)

Customer #1: “I AM SPARTACUS!”

(Then another guy in the back yells.)

Customer #2: “No, I AM SPARTACUS!”

(I was smirking as I handed out the food, but once I got back to the counter, my coworkers and I were crying with laughter.)

Thou Shalt Have Cable

, | Germany | Language & Words, Movies & TV, Technology

(The German word for “commandment” is also used as an auction term.)

Coworker: “Hello, this is the IT service of [ISP]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello? Please, help me. You have to help me.”

Coworker: “Certainly, ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

Caller: “I can’t see my commandments! I can’t watch them!”

Coworker: “Commandments? Like… your auctions on eBay?”

Caller: “eBay? What is this? What are you talking about? Please help me.”

Coworker: “Uh, why don’t you explain to me which commandments you mean?”

Caller: “Commandments! The Ten Commandments. It goes on Kabel-1 at two pm!”

Coworker: “Oh, the movie! Let me see what we can do. Please tell me your customer number first…”

(It was a long call. It turned out the elderly lady was disabled and really wanted to watch her movie that day, as it was Good Friday. My coworker was able to find out the problem wasn’t in her devices so he transferred her over to the TV services support. She blessed him. Sometimes religious customers aren’t that bad.)

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