Category: Movies & TV

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Smells Like Teenage Dispirit

| NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(I am the usher on the opening weekend of ‘Ted,’ and it is quite busy. I walk into the theatre, and notice about ten teens sitting on the floor.)

Me: “Hi, guys, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to find seats.”

(The teens look at each other, then all mumble their refuse, and try to ignore me.)

Me: “Sitting on the floor is against our policy, because it poses a hazard for both yourselves and other patrons. You can either relocate yourselves, or leave the theatre.”

(They leave, swearing at me, and emptying their popcorn in a trail all the way from the last theatre in the building to the front doors, and abuse the manager on their way out.

Me: *angry* “Don’t worry about your popcorn, guys; we’ll clean up after you!”

(I was promptly told off by my manager for letting my anger get the better of me.)

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Double-Oh-Seven Different Ways To Say It

| NSW, Australia | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(I’m working as a cashier, selling tickets, and have a run of customers that seem to encounter issues with the movie title.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like a ticket for the James Bond movie.”

Me: “All right, you’ll be in cinema two for Spectre tonight.”

Customer #1: “No! I wanted James Bond!”

(Later.)

Customer #2: “Hi, I’d like two tickets to Skyfall tonight.”

Me: “No worries, you’ll be in cinema two for Spectre tonight””

Customer #2: “Oh! I called it the wrong thing!” *begins laughing hysterically*

Me: “It’s okay! I knew what you meant.”

Customer #3: “Hi, I’d like a ticket to Spectra.”

Me: “Close enough!”

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22 Ways To Die On Jump Street

| VA, USA | Movies & TV

(It’s a Saturday night, and it’s been slow; my manager has been forced to send people home early, and he moves me, temporarily, from selling tickets to tearing them at the podium, so our customers get to their movies. I have just arrived when an older woman approaches me.)

Customer: “This movie is terrible!”

(She neither mentions the name of the movie or what she might like me to do about it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Which movie are you seeing?”

Customer:A Million Ways to Die in the West. My husband wanted to watch it, and won’t leave with me.”

(Note that this movie is rated R for “strong, crude sexual content, language throughout, some violence, and drug material.” This isn’t unusual for an R-Rated comedy. She still hasn’t asked for a refund, or even mentioned the idea, however.)

Me: “All right, how can I help you? Is there another movie you might like to see?”

Customer: “Well, since he wants to finish that crude movie, I thought, if possible, I could see a different movie. Is there one that might end around the same time?”

Me: “Well, let’s see… your husband’s movie is going to end around [time], and it seems we have How to Train Your Dragon 2, The Fault in our Stars, and 22 Jump Street ending around the same time. Would you like to go to any of those?”

Customer: “Oh! 22 Jump Street was one I wanted to see!”

(Also an R-Rated comedy, it has similar warnings; language throughout, sexual content, drug material, brief nudity, and some violence.)

Me: “Well, it will end around the same time, but ma’am, I must warn you, it’s also rated R, and has similar warnings.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m sure it can’t be as raunchy as the other one! You did say it will end around the same time, right?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It’ll end just a few minutes later.”

Customer: “Have you heard good things about it?”

Me: “I’ve heard good things, but I’ve heard there’s a lot of language.”

Customer: “Well, what are those others about?”

Me: “This one is a sequel to a very popular kid’s movie, and the other is a tear-jerker; we’ve heard excellent things about both, and I’ve seen the former, and loved it!”

Customer: “…Well, I think I’ll just try 22 Jump Street. I wanted to see it, anyway.”

(I tried one last time to persuade her, gently, to see another film, but she was quite insistent, and I sent her on to the theater showing her movie of choice. As far as I know, she didn’t come back out with another complaint, but I can’t imagine she was very satisfied, by the reviews from my friends!)

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Not-So-Smart-Phone: The Movie

| Tyler, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

(I’m checking theaters on a busy weekend, which means walking into each theater and making sure people aren’t on their phones, etc. A guy sitting on the very front row of a crowded theater has his MASSIVE phone out and even holds it up where everyone in the theater can see it, so I go up to him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to turn off your phone.”

Customer: “What phone?”

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The Calm After The Storm

| NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV, Popular

(This particular story happens the day after a really bad snow storm. The storm leads to us shutting down early the day before, numerous employee call outs because they still can’t get to work, and several of our company’s smaller locations nearby to have shut down for the day. My coworker and I are in the box office with a massively long line that is out the door.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about the wait. What would you like to see today?”

Customer: “I’d like one ticket to [Movie], and there is no need to apologize. There was a blizzard yesterday. I’m just glad you guys are open.”

(I finish the transaction and call the next person.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about the wait. What would you like to see today?”

Customer: “We’d like two for [Movie] and it’s fine. You guys are doing your best and it’s not a big deal that we had to wait a little while.”

(After several more transactions like this my coworker turns to me.)

Coworker: “Are we in the Twilight Zone or something? Everyone is being polite about waiting in line.”

Me: “We’ve clearly entered some alternate universe where customers are nice to us.”

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