Category: Movies & TV

Gives You A Nice Long Rest

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Love/Romance, Movies & TV

(Our lobby has restrooms on opposite ends. I’m behind concessions helping a customer when we both notice a man leave his auditorium and going to the restroom on the opposite side.)

Customer: “That was my husband. He doesn’t know there’s a restroom on the other end.”

Me: “Are you ever going to tell him that?”

Customer: “If he’s smart, he’ll figure it out… which means he never will.”

Are You Sitting Uncomfortably?

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(Our theater has electric recliner-style chairs. They’re very nice, but they are often broken by guests who mistreat them, and so we’re constantly having to fix them. I’m returning from my lunch break, when I see an elderly couple confronting a petite, teenaged coworker of mine. Despite being in their 70s, the husband is HUGE and looks like he could easily overpower everyone there.)

Wife: “My husband is usually a peaceful man! But you’ve pushed him, and now he needs closure and needs you to pay!”

Husband: *fuming* “I’m gonna have someone’s head!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry… What is the issue?”

Wife: “You know what it is!”

Coworker: “I apologize, ma’am. Let me call a manag—”

Wife: *interrupting* “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!”

(I rush over and get a manager, who approaches them. I hear the husband and wife screaming on and off for the next five minutes, before they leave, making sure to announce loudly they’re “never” coming back to this theater, and telling every… single… person they can that we’re “cruel” and “worthless” thieves.)

Manager: *walking up to me* “Well… that was interesting…”

Me: “What was going on?”

Manager: “Someone must have broken one of the seats in the screening before those customers, because his seat was stuck permanently reclined, and it hurt his back trying to lay down in it.”

Me: “Oh, were there no other seats that he could switch to? Why didn’t they just have someone come in to fix the chair?”

Manager: “That’s the thing. I just checked, and they were the ONLY ones there. There was literally about 100 empty seats around them… He just decided that he wouldn’t switch seats, and then got mad because the one seat he picked happened to be the one broken one.”

Me: “And that’s our fault, somehow?”

Manager: “Sadly, that’s not even in the top-five of dumbest thing we’ve been blamed for by angry guests this week…”

The Price Is Fright

| Dublin, Ireland | Food & Drink, Money, Movies & TV

Customer: “I’ll have two medium popcorns, two cokes, and packet of sweets, please”.

Me: “No problem, sir. That’ll be €20.”

Customer: “Are you f****** serious?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “That price is ridiculous. I’m not paying that”

Me: “That’s okay, sir. If you are unhappy with the prices there is a shop across the street.”

Customer: “Do you know what you are? You’re a f****** criminal. How dare you charge those prices!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t make the prices.”

Customer: *pauses for a moment* “Yeah, well… I don’t make the prices either.”

Me: *completely confused* “So, would you like your items or should I put them back?”

Customer: “Well, it seems I don’t have a choice. I guess I’ll have to buy them now. Oh, and I’ll also take a nachos.”

Every Nicholas Spark Book Adaptation Ever

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

Customer: “What is the movie with the boy and girl and they fall in love?”

Me: “Uh… that could be literally any movie ever made.”

Not Thinking Outside The Police Box

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(Our bookstore has its own TARDIS that we use to display Doctor Who and other science fiction books and toys on. The following conversation between one of our booksellers and an indignant customer recently happened:)

Customer: “Why do you have a police box in your store?”

Bookseller: “It’s from the show Doctor Who.”

Customer: *blank look* “I am unfamiliar with that.”

Bookseller: “It’s a British science fiction show.”

Customer: *haughtily* “Aren’t you afraid of the implications?”

Bookseller: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “That you are misleading people. What if someone had an actual emergency and needed to call the police? And all you have this fake police phone box.”

Bookseller: “We have actual telephones. And everyone here could easily dial 911 on their cells.”

Customer: “You’re lying to people.”

Employee: “It’s a British phone box from the 1960s. Even if it worked, all we’d get were British police from the 1960s and they’d have to come a very long way. Or we might get the Doctor.”

Customer: “Who?”

Employee: “Yes.”