Category: Movies & TV

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Speaking On Different Channels

| Canada | Language & Words, Movies & TV, Technology

(I work tech support for the Internet part of a company that also provides cable TV and cell phones, so sometimes we get calls meant for other departments. When that happens, we just transfer them over. One day I get a call from an older, heavily-accented caller.)

Me: “Thanks for choosing [Company] Internet tech support. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “My weather network, and the news, and, uh… it no work!”

Me: “Your Internet isn’t working?”

Customer: “No! Not Internet. TV! My weather channel isn’t working! And the news channel!”

Me: “Oh, your cable TV isn’t working!”

Customer: “”Right!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Well, you’ve reached Internet tech support, so let me get you right over to cable TV repair, and they’ll be able to look into that for you. Before I get you to them, do you have any Internet questions for me while you have me here?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working!”

Me: “Okay, well, then, let me get you right over to cable TV repair then. This will just put you back into hold while I get you to them. There may be just a brief wait–”

Customer: “Wait!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “My news channel isn’t working!”

Me: “Well, that’s still on your TV, so let’s get you right over to the right department–”

Customer: “Wait!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working either!”

Me: “Okay, well-let-me-get-you-right-over-to-the-right-guys-they’ll-be-with-you-in-just-a-sec-bye!” *hits transfer button*

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Thinks You’re A Deadfool

| DE, USA | Movies & TV, Underaged

(I am taking tickets at my theater during the opening week of ‘Deadpool’ when two obviously underage teenagers, probably fifteen or so, walk up to me with tickets.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Theater]! Can I take your tickets, please?”

Customers: *hand me tickets*

Me: “Sorry, guys, but Deadpool is rated ‘R.’ I’m going to need to see some ID.”

Customer #1: “What?! But it’s a superhero movie! It’s ‘PG-13!'”

Me: “Nope! We’ve had a couple people think the same thing, but it’s rated ‘R.’ If you don’t have ID, they can switch out your tickets at the box office.”

Customer #2: “But they let us buy the tickets! Are you sure it’s rated ‘R?'”

Me: “Very sure. It says so on the poster right behind you.”

Customer #2: “Well, are you sure the poster’s right?”

(I proceeded to explain that the movie was, in fact, rated what it said on the poster. 20 minutes later, after several attempts to get me to let them into the movie, including a phone call from the customers’ mom, they finally left and got a ticket for a different movie. Security later caught them trying to sneak into ‘Deadpool’ anyway.)

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No Crowd Allowed

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m in line to see ‘Deadpool,’ but have turned up later than expected due to traffic. At this particular cinema they post notices inside the ticket booth if a certain screening is sold out so while the man ahead of me is getting his ticket I’m leaning forward to see if the showing I’m trying to catch still has seats available.)

Customer Ahead Of Me: “Yes, four for… uh… hold on a second.” *turns to me* “Sorry, but do you think you could… you know… back off, please?”

Me: “Oh, sorry!”

(I quickly step to the other side of the ticket booth to give him some space. He in turn keeps glaring at me.)

Customer Ahead Of Me: “Well? Did you not hear me? Keep going! You’re still too close to me!”

(I’m a bit confused but duly step as far back as I can get without forcing the people behind me in line to step back as well. The man continues to glare and then steps away from the ticket booth to approach me.)

Customer Ahead Of Me: “Hey, are you deaf or something? Have some respect for a guy’s personal space! MOVE BACK! GO! SCOOT!” *he looks up as if suddenly noticing the line behind me* “That goes for all of you, too! Stop crowding me and wait your turn!”

Customer Behind Me: “We ARE waiting our turn, bud! This is where we’re supposed to wait!”

(The man throws up his hands, goes back to the ticket booth, and finishes his purchase. As he storms into the cinema I sheepishly walk up to the counter again.)

Me: “Uh… do you still have seating for Deadpool at 3:30?”

Attendant: “We do, don’t worry. Seriously I don’t know what was wrong with that guy but you weren’t standing any closer than most do when they reach the front of the line.”

Me: “Thank you, though I dread to think how he’s going to react to sitting in a theater with so many folk clustered around him…”