Category: Movies & TV

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Totally Wired Right Now

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Popular, Technology

(I work for a cable company doing customer service, as well as tier one tech support. The bulk of my job is rebooting cable boxes and modems, or programming remotes. People tend to get frustrated when I ask them to do basic things like make sure their TV is on or there are batteries in the remote, but it is stories like this which justify the reason for asking such basic things.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]. How can I assist you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just picked up a new box at the local center, and I am getting the same error message I was on the last box.”

(There are a list of error codes that show on the front display of cable boxes where the time or channel usually is, so I expect it to be one of those.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but I definitely assist you with that today. Could you please read the code off to me?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s C-I-S-C-O.”

Me: “Cisco…? Sir, is that on the box itself or the TV?”

Customer: “The TV. It’s been there forever.”

Me: “Okay, sir, well that is just the name of the brand of the box. It appears to be rebooting. It is perfectly normal to see that there. Now can you please tell me what it says on the front display of the box itself?”

Customer: “Oh, it says [error code]. It’s been stuck like this for a half hour.”

Me: “Well, it shouldn’t be taking that long, so let me look up what that code means.” *a few seconds pass as I verify it is an input error* “Okay, sir, could you do me a favor and let’s walk through your connections to make sure everything is secure on the back of the box.”

Customer: “Okay, give me a second.” *there’s some rustling as I assume he is checking all the wires* “F***. I guess I might help if I plug the cable into the wall, huh?”

Me: *chuckling* “Yeah, that does tend help with your cable TV experience.”

Customer: “See, this is the s*** that happens when you smoke too much.”

(I have to mute myself to laugh out loud.)

Customer: “Wait, these calls are recorded, right? I should not have said that.”

Me: *chuckling harder* “No worries. Nobody listens to these calls anyway.”

(I can only hope that was one of my randomly selected calls for review that month.)

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Trying To Go Above Her Stations

, | SD, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(I work in sales in a call center for a cable company. We are converting cable channels to digital format, so customers that don’t have equipment are losing their signal. A customer calls tech support because a lot of her channels stop working, and the tech support rep transfers the call to me. All she is paying for is basically local stations, but before she is getting the entire expanded basic lineup that was apparently leaking through. She wants to get her channels back, therefore the following conversation ensues.)

Me: “This is [My Name] from sales. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not getting my stations anymore.”

Me: “Okay, to assist, what channels were you looking for?”

Customer: *names stations in higher package*

Me: “Okay, so it looks like those stations are in [X package]. Right now, you are paying for [Y package]. To upgrade, you’re looking at about $40 more per month.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want to pay for that. I just want my stations back.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, in order to get those channels, you will need [X package].”

Customer: “Why can’t you just give me my stations back?”

Me: “Since you are only paying for [Y package], you will only get those channels from now on. I apologize about any confusion. If you would like to upgrade to [X package] and get the channels included, the price is [price]. We can go ahead and upgrade you now and get that back for you. Also, we won’t even back-charge you for the free cable you have been getting for the last three years.”

Customer: “You guys are crooks.” *hangs up*

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Requires A Herculean Effort To Make Them Understand

| Richmond, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work at an automotive parts store, and we say the name of our store in the greeting when we answer phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What time is Hercules playing tonight?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is [Store]. You have the wrong number.”

Customer: “I’d like to buy tickets to see Hercules.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. This is not the movie theater.”

Customer: “Why can’t you sell me tickets? What kind of movie theater is this? Can I speak to a manager?!”

(I put the customer on hold and tell my manager the story.)

Manager: *on the phone*  “Hercules is playing at eight pm tonight and we have two tickets here for you at the counter. Have a nice night.”

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Horrifically Bad Timing

| MB, Canada | Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Popular

(I am delivering pizza. I am going up to a house at about 11 pm and ring the doorbell. Immediately I hear a blood-curdling scream of absolute terror. A face looks out the window next to the door.)

Customer: *behind the door* “Oh, thank god!”

(Upon opening the door, it turned out the couple were watching a horror movie, and I had rung the doorbell at the exact wrong moment.)

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Customers Are A Bunch Of Slave-Drivers

| Onamia, MN, USA | Movies & TV

(Someone orders some mozzarella sticks under the name Spartacus. I go to bring them out and call the name. As I did, a man stood up and announces:)

Customer #1: “I AM SPARTACUS!”

(Then another guy in the back yells.)

Customer #2: “No, I AM SPARTACUS!”

(I was smirking as I handed out the food, but once I got back to the counter, my coworkers and I were crying with laughter.)

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