Category: Movies & TV

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Rated ‘R You Serious?’

| USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(I work at a movie theater.)

Customer: “Two tickets for [R-rated Movie].”

(The customer looks like a young teenager so I’m required to check his ID first.)

Me: “Sure, if your want to buy the tickets I’m just going to have to look at your ID first.”

Customer: “Come on, man. I’m not old enough.”

Me: “I can’t sell them to you, then. Sorry.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “Sorry, dude.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “I really can’t…”

Customer: “Come on, man!”

His Friend: “Yeah, I don’t think that’s working.”

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Balls-To-The-Walls Crazy

| Renton, WA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(It is during the French Open, at my tennis shop. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Shop], how may I help you?”

Customer: *sounds frustrated* “I can’t see the tennis ball!”

Me: Sorry, ma’am, can you elaborate?

Customer: “I’m watching TV on one of those big HD TVs and the TV salesman said I should be able to everything but I still can’t see the ball. It’s so small and blends into the court. I was so upset and just didn’t know who I should call!”

Me: “You are watching the French Open and you can’t see the yellow ball on the clay courts?”

Customer: “Exactly! Is there anything you can do to help? I was so concerned and I didn’t know what to do so I just opened the phone book and you were the only listing under ‘tennis.’”

Me: *trying not to laugh as my boss walks in the shop* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a local pro shop thousands of miles away from the French Open. We have absolutely no jurisdiction over the size and color of the tournament balls. There’s really nothing I can do.”

Customer: *obviously missing the point* “There aren’t any other colors of balls?”

Me: “We do carry pink Breast Cancer Awareness balls.”

Customer: “No, thank you. I think that would look worse on the TV.”

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Totally Wired Right Now

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Popular, Technology

(I work for a cable company doing customer service, as well as tier one tech support. The bulk of my job is rebooting cable boxes and modems, or programming remotes. People tend to get frustrated when I ask them to do basic things like make sure their TV is on or there are batteries in the remote, but it is stories like this which justify the reason for asking such basic things.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]. How can I assist you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just picked up a new box at the local center, and I am getting the same error message I was on the last box.”

(There are a list of error codes that show on the front display of cable boxes where the time or channel usually is, so I expect it to be one of those.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but I definitely assist you with that today. Could you please read the code off to me?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s C-I-S-C-O.”

Me: “Cisco…? Sir, is that on the box itself or the TV?”

Customer: “The TV. It’s been there forever.”

Me: “Okay, sir, well that is just the name of the brand of the box. It appears to be rebooting. It is perfectly normal to see that there. Now can you please tell me what it says on the front display of the box itself?”

Customer: “Oh, it says [error code]. It’s been stuck like this for a half hour.”

Me: “Well, it shouldn’t be taking that long, so let me look up what that code means.” *a few seconds pass as I verify it is an input error* “Okay, sir, could you do me a favor and let’s walk through your connections to make sure everything is secure on the back of the box.”

Customer: “Okay, give me a second.” *there’s some rustling as I assume he is checking all the wires* “F***. I guess I might help if I plug the cable into the wall, huh?”

Me: *chuckling* “Yeah, that does tend help with your cable TV experience.”

Customer: “See, this is the s*** that happens when you smoke too much.”

(I have to mute myself to laugh out loud.)

Customer: “Wait, these calls are recorded, right? I should not have said that.”

Me: *chuckling harder* “No worries. Nobody listens to these calls anyway.”

(I can only hope that was one of my randomly selected calls for review that month.)