Category: Movies & TV

Beware Of The Sweet Disposition

| MN, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Spouses & Partners

(It’s a slow day. My coworker and I are standing at the register waiting to see if we’re having another no-show. A friendly young couple walks in and asks for two tickets to a show. Then, the girlfriend chimes in.)

Girlfriend: “Hey, so, I see those three movies there…”

(She points to the three poster frames in the lobby showcasing what movies we have.)

Girlfriend: “So where do you keep the things for those?”

Me: “Um, do you mean where do we keep the posters?”

(The girlfriend begins shouting slowly as if I didn’t hear her.)


Me: “… I, I still don’t understand. Do you mean the…”


(The boyfriend quietly slides behind her and reached his hand around to her mouth. He drops what looked like a caramel block into her mouth. As soon as he did, she immediately mellowed out and they both quietly walked out of the theater.)

Sugar And Spice And Naughty And Nice

| Bloomfield Hills, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Movies & TV

Customer: *after purchasing tickets and popcorn* “And I need to get my husband a drink. Give me a bottle of water. Or… what do you have that’s not naughty?”

Me: “Um, naughty like… ‘sex on the beach?'”

Customer: “No. Just without any high-fructose crap. Saccharine is fine, aspartame isn’t…”

(She begins to look at the options in our cooler as her husband, wearing a ‘live free or die’ hat, enters.)

Customer: “Get something to drink. Something not naughty.”

Customer’s Husband: *to me* “You got Coke products?”

Me: “Yes. We have fountain drinks which have HFCS, and the bottled drinks are all cane sugar. So they aren’t, um, quite as naughty.”

Customer: “Oh, he’ll just have a bottle of water.”

Me: “Okay. So that’s two bottles of water? One for him and one for you?”

Customer’s Husband:  “I think I’ll have a Cherry Coke.”

Customer: “Cherry Coke? What are you, 12?”

Customer’s Husband:  “We’re at a movie!”

Customer: “But it’s NAUGHTY!”

Customer’s Husband:  “Fine. Make it a small.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll be in the theater while you’re getting diabetes! WITH MY WATER!”

(I prepare the Cherry Coke for him and ring it up.)

Me: “Live free or die, man. Here’s your drink.”

Missed The Magic Of The Magic Kingdom

| Fayetteville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Religion

(A customer comes up to the till and hands me a bunch of DVDs. We have to up-sell, for obvious reasons.)

Me: “I see you are getting a bunch of Disney movies. Did you know the newest Harry Potter just came out? We do have some copies on the shelf.”

Customer: “I’m not even going to touch that anti-Christ movie! Any movie that delves into magic is Satan’s movies!”

(I look down at the movies being rented and finish the transaction with no more chit-chatting.)

Me: “Enjoy The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast! Have a nice day!”

Didn’t Do Math At Hogwarts

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(A customer is renting ‘Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.’)

Customer: “Have you watched this?”

Me: “Yes, but I found the books to be much better.”

Customer: “How can you like the work of some lazy author?”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “There are eight movies, but only seven books. The author got lazy and wrapped everything up in seven books instead of writing eight!”

Causing A Drama In The Drama Section

New York, NY, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV

(I work in a video rental store where new movies are put in the ‘premiere’ section for a few months before getting moved to ‘comedy,’ ‘mystery,’ etc. Even though ‘premiere’ movies had come out in the theatres about six months to a year prior to coming out for rental, people always seemed to make it a priority to pick movies from there.)

Customer: “Where is [Movie]? I don’t see it here.”

Me: “It was just taken from the premiere section about 30 minutes ago and put into the drama section.”

Customer; “Oh, no! I wanted to watch that.”

Me: “I just came from the drama section, just over there about 12 feet away, and I saw 10 copies of the film sitting there. I’m sure that there will be plenty there if you go now.”

Customer: “Oh, I never watch a movie unless it’s in the premiere section.”

(She turns to leave the store, sighs heavily, and sends her heartfelt complaint out to the store in general.)

Customer: “And I REALLY wanted to see that movie!”

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