Category: Movies & TV

The Paint Is In Aisle Five; Prepare To Die

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(My 20-year-old son goes to a craft store with me. He has long hair, pulled back in a ponytail, slightly ratty jeans, and an oversized t-shirt with a small name-tag which says ‘hello my name is Inigo Montoya.’)

Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where are the buttons?”

(My son turns at looks at me, with a ‘help me’ expression. I walk over.)

Me: “The buttons are over that way.”

(My son and I look at each other and laugh. We then go to a second craft store.)

Other Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where is the paint?”

(Again I was able to point the woman in the right direction. My son vowed never again to shop while wearing that shirt.)

Rated Immature

| NY, USA | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(The video store I work at has a ‘back room’ installed and most people call to double check that, yes, we do rent adult videos.)

Caller: “Hey, I’ve got a list of titles and I wanted to know if you have them for rent.”

Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

Caller: “All right. Deep Throat?” *background giggling*

Me: *checks* “Nope, we don’t carry that one.”

Caller: “Darn, my niece will be so disappointed.” *more giggling*

(I’m not fazed by this stuff by this point, so I keep going since it isn’t busy.)

Me: “Any others?”

Caller: “Ha ha, yeah… Debbie Does Dallas?”

Me: *checks* “Well the first one is rented out, but the second and fifth ones are in stock.”

Caller: “Wait, really?”

Me: *confused* “Yeah, really.”

Caller: “You guys ACTUALLY rent porn?”

Me: “Yeah… We have a whole section in the back of the store.”

Caller: “Wow, REALLY? All right, I’ll be in later then. Wait, wait… Do you have newer stuff?”

Me: “Yeah, the older titles are mostly just the really famous ones.”

Caller: “Awesome. That call went a lot better than I thought it would.”

(He turned out to be a repeat customer.)

The Luxury Of Name-Dropping

| Birmingham, MI, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(I am the manager at a local palladium. There are 12 theatres. Two of them are bigger and the chairs are more comfy so there is an extra $1 fee per ticket for them. It says outside and inside the palladium when the movie times are for the luxury theatres.)

Customer: “Five tickets for [luxury show].”

Me: “Okay your total will be $40.”

Customer: “Wait I thought it was just $35.”

Me: Well, normally it would be, but that movie is playing in the luxury theatres so it is an extra dollar fee per ticket.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not paying for that! That is outrageous! I don’t care where I sit but I’m not paying the extra money! You’re trying to rip me off, aren’t you! I know your manager and I want to see him right now!”

Me: “Sir, I am sorry to inform you but that would be me and I do not recognize you.”

Customer: “You should do! We had a long conversation and everything!”

(I flip my nametag around and say:)

Me: “Sir, if you can tell me my name, I will wave the extra fee for you, and please do it fast because you are holding up the line.”

Customer: *pauses* “I’ll just pay the extra money…”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice time.”