Category: Movies & TV

Parental-Misguidance-13

| Barnstaple, England, UK | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Underaged

(It is 1989, when Tim Burton’s first Batman movie hit the cinemas. The British Board of Film Classification (the UK version of the Motion Picture Association of America) has decided to create a new picture certificate, the 12-certificate, meaning only those over the age of 12 may be admitted. Batman is the very first movie in the UK to be given this certificate. The cinema where this occurs is a single screen, rural cinema that has only one film a week, showing once a day. Cinema-goers queue outside and must do so past two posters advertising that week’s presentation. Because of the newness of the 12-certificate the management have put bright yellow notices with the posters advising patrons of the film’s rating and what it means. Also at opening time cinema staff are policing the queue ensuring no one under 12 gains entry. Behind me are two grandparents and their eight year old grandchild. A cinema employee comes up to them.)

Employee: “Excuse me, sir, madam, how old is the child?”

Grandmother: “Eight.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but this presentation has been rated ’12’ by the BBFC and as such, is unsuitable for the child.”

Grandmother: “But it’s Batman!”

Employee: “Yes, but the film has been rated certificate ’12’ due to its content.”

Grandfather: “’12’ certificate?”

Employee: “Yes, sir, it’s a new certificate, restricting the presentation to those to aged 12 or over. The newspaper did warn about this in our advert this week and there are signs outside the cinema saying the same thing.”

Grandfather: “But it’s his birthday and we promised him we’d take him to see Batman.”

Employee: “I understand but it is against the law for us to admit him.”

Grandmother: “But it’s Batman!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, madam you’ll have to leave. There’s nothing we can do.”

Grandmother: “But it’s Batman!”

Employee:Batman it may be; suitable for an eight year old, no, it isn’t. Now please leave. You’re holding up the queue.”

(The grandparents and grandchild leave the queue. Halfway up the street she turns and shouts to the queue.)

Grandmother: “This is so unfair! It’s Batman; it should be for kids!”

Martin Luther King Of Hollywood

| New Zealand | History, Movies & TV

(We have just begun screening before our movies the trailer to Selma, a movie based on the voting rights marches from Selma to Montgomery in 1965. Most people associate it as a Martin Luther King Junior movie. A young woman approaches me at the ticket counter inquiring about the movie.)

Woman: “Excuse, but I just watched this trailer before on my movie… I wondered if you could tell me more about it? It looks interesting.”

Me: “Sure! Which trailer was it?”

Woman: “I think it was a woman’s name… There were a lot of black guys and they were marching with a king?”

Me: “Oh… I think you must be talking about Selma. It’s based on the marches for voting rights back in the 60’s. One of the leading influences was Martin Luther King Jr.”

Woman: “Martin Luther King? I’ve never heard of him… What else does he star in?”

Me: “Um, he wasn’t an actor in the movie. He was involved in African-American rights movements before his assassination?”

Woman: *looking blank*

Me: “I have a dream?”

Woman: “Oh! That guy!”

Dora Hasn’t Explored That Yet

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(I’m bagging a customer’s purchases when a woman and a little girl in a Dora the Explorer shirt walk by.)

Me: “Do you know how Dora the Explorer got her name?”

Customer: *suddenly horrified* “Uh… no…”

Me: “Because the Spanish word for ‘explorer’ is ‘exploradora.'”

Customer: “Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to say she was named after a porn star or something.”

Me: “…”