Category: Movies & TV


Not Playing With Phrasing

| Hays, KS, USA | Movies & TV, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I am working for a third party that provides customer service for a very popular TV/Internet/phone company. During the evening shift we get a lot of interesting calls. In this case, I am the one who says something I wish I could take back. When we send a signal to a cable box to try to reboot it, we call it “hitting the box.”)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m trying to watch a show and it’s giving me an error.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I know that’s frustrating. Can you tell me what the error says so I can see how we can fix it?”

Customer: *reads me the error code; it’s for a premium channel*

Me: “Okay, I can see this is for a premium channel. Let me make sure we’ve got the channel active on your account.”

(I verify his account info, and see that he has subscribed to the Playboy channel, and nothing else.)

Me: “I can see that you’re currently subscribed to the Playboy channel. Is that the channel you’re seeing the error code on?”

Customer: “Yes. I really need it to work.”

Me: “No problem; let me hit your box and see if I can get it up for you.”

Customer: “…”

Me: *mortified*

Customer: “…”

Me: “I… I mean… um…”

Customer: *bursts into laughter*

Me: *trying to control my laughter* “I mean… let me… send a signal… to your cable box… and see if I can get your… channel… working again.”

(I got it fixed. He was able to… enjoy… his evening.)


The Name Game(show)

| USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular

(I take complaints and record feedback for a well-known TV channel.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Caller: “This is unacceptable! Your game show last night was incredibly racist!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I appreciate your call. What show are you talking about and what seems to be the problem!”

Caller: “Last night on [Game Show], an African-American woman was named Ebony! That’s racist! Just because she’s black doesn’t mean you can name her Ebony!”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Caller: “You heard me!”

Me: “Ma’am, let me get this straight; you are complaining about a contestant’s name?”

Caller: “Yes! On [Game Show] last night!”

Me: “[Game Show]? You mean on [Competitor’s Channel]?”

Caller: “Of course! Are you an idiot!”

Me: “You do realize this is [Other Channel], and we don’t play episodes of [Game Show]?”

Caller: “Do something! Her name is completely racist! Think of all of the children that were watching! How could you name someone that?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to say this once. You have called the wrong channel, complained about a show we don’t even host, and want us to do something about a contestant’s name, which is given to them by their parents?”

Caller: “Yes! Why aren’t you doing anything?”


I Find Your Lack Of Concessions… Disturbing

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Popular

(It’s a few days after “Star Wars” has opened, and it’s been playing to all-day sold-out screenings since it opened. We’ve had such huge, record-numbers of guests, that we’ve actually started to run out of many of our concessions. It’s a Monday night, my shift ends in ten minutes, and I’m dealing with my last round of customers, who are of course there to see “Star Wars.” We have a large group of people in the stand because we’ve had to bring in the new hires for emergency training to deal with the record-number of guests. However, as they are all training, they can’t really help me.)

Customer: “Pretzels, please.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve actually sold out of pretzels.”

Customer: “But it’s a MONDAY!”

Me: “Unfortunately, Saturday was the busiest day we’ve ever had in the theater’s history, and all of our pretzels sold out by that afternoon.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Pepperoni pizza, then.”

Me: “We also sold out of all of our pizzas Saturday. I really apologize. We’ve been dealing with record-numbers of guests the past few weeks and we’ve been selling out of much of our stock.”

Customer: *fuming* “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Nachos?”

Me: *wincing* “Sold out as well. I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “FINE! HOT DOGS!”

Me: “We do have hot dogs, but there’s none prepared at the moment. We could have some ready in about fifteen minutes, if you’d like.”

Customer: *screaming; pointing to the trainees around the stand* “What the f*** are you all good for, then?! So many people around you and you’re too STUPID to make f****** hot dogs?!”

Me: “We actually sold all of the hot dogs we had prepared on the guests before you. I really apologize.”


Me: “We’re out of courtesy trays.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The customer storms off.)

Next Customer: “Wow, she was dramatic…”

Me: “Yeah, I apologize. We’ve sold out of a lot of inventory and it’s been ugly here the past few weeks as a result. How can I help you?”

Next Customer: “Can I get some nachos?”

Me: “Sorry, but we sold out of them.”

Next Customer: *instantly furious* “WHAT?! THIS IS BULL-S***!”


I-Maximum Idiocy

| GA, USA | Movies & TV, Popular

(I have worked for years at a gift shop in a natural history museum which has an IMAX giant screen theater. As such, we always carry as many of the titles we screen on DVD as possible. This was a common occurrence:)

Customer: “Hey, yeah, I was looking for [IMAX film] on DVD.”

Me: “Absolutely. Right over here.”

Customer: “So… is… is this as big as the IMAX screen in there?”

Me: “Haha… only if your television is five stories high!”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “You know, if your television is as big as the theater?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “No… No, it’s not.”

(I still cannot figure out how they thought a DVD would warp space and physics and expand their 27 inch Zenith into a five story IMAX screen. Sadly, this conversation happened WAY more than once, so I just quit making the joke. I know it wasn’t THAT funny… but, geez.)


Horror Movie

| AZ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m working in the video department at an entertainment store. My responsibilities include checking-in and shelving DVDs, and sending warning letters when a customer’s account balance has so many late fees that their account is being sent to collections.)

Me: *answers phone with store greeting*

Caller: “You crook!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “I got this letter saying I stole some movies! How dare you accuse me? You’re all thieves!”

Me: *manages to extract her name so I can pull up her account* “Well, ma’am, it looks like you rented out [Movie #1] and [Movie #2] on [Date]. If you return them, the block will be removed and your account will not be sent to collections.”

Caller: “I bought those movies! You’re a f****** liar! You’re going to f****** ruin my credit!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those movies are still popular releases and we haven’t marked any for used sale yet. My system says specifically that they were rented.”

Caller: “You’re just trying to swindle me!”

Me: “Ma’am, new copies of these movies sell for $25 and we have never sold a used copy of either. You paid $6 to rent both.”

(The caller goes into an insane rage. She threatens to beat me up, kidnap me, throw acid in my face, and burn my store down. In the background you can hear her husband desperately trying to get her to calm down and hang up.)

Me: *hangs up*

(Twenty minutes later a man walked in and silently dropped the two movies into the slot.)

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