Category: Movies & TV

No Bright Prospects For This Lamp

| WI, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(My husband and I own a thrift shop and consignment store. People bring in items to us either for consignment or to sell us. A lady brings in “an antique lamp.”)

Customer: “I want to sell this lamp, and I expect $300 for it.”

Me: “Hmm, based on our local economy, if genuine, it will only sell for a fraction of that at the most. I can offer $40.”

Customer: *outraged* “It is the same kerosene lamp found in Gone With The Wind and it is worth way more than that!”

Me: “Then it is probably a replica, especially since, despite resembling an antique kerosene lamp, it has an electrical cord coming out of it.”

Customer: “An expert friend of mine appraised it for me and said it is genuine. It is worth a thousand, and I you will be making a huge mistake passing up this deal”

Me: “I am not saying I am an expert, but I doubt I could sell the lamp in my store for much more than I offered, and by all means, I can direct you to other reputable businesses.”

(She left in a huff. A week later, she returned with the lamp, humbly admitting the other businesses only offered her $20.)

Rated-R For Responsible

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(A man bursts out of the theater playing an R-rated movie about 20 minutes into it, with a five- to seven-year-old kid.)

Customer: “I was just inside watching [Movie] and was shocked at what I saw on the screen. This is not appropriate for a young child!”

(I look at the little boy in tow and am somewhat surprised that they were allowed in by the staff, but also know we can’t keep some people out if they’re not disruptive.)

Me: “You took a young boy in to see [Movie]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “So you know these are violent movies?!”

Customer: “You should have a sign or something on the poster warning people of the violence.”

Me: “I assure you, sir, we do!”

(He looks at me funny and I tell him to follow me. I take him to the lobby, bring him over to the poster, and point out the R-rating posted on the poster.)

Me: “There it is, right there, sir! “Not recommended for audiences under 17.” There’s your warning.”

(He sputters and his face gets even more red than it already was.)

Customer: “That’s not enough! You should personally make another, larger sign of warning and place it next to the poster!”

Me: “I’m not going to do that. Consider yourself an educated customer, for you learned something today about personal responsibility. See that you never forget it.”

(I fully expected him to demand a refund, which I would have given him, but he sputtered again angrily and left the lobby in a huff. It still amazes me how some parents expect strangers to protect their kids from certain things when the parents themselves aren’t willing to step up.)

Needs A Stark Explanation

| France | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work at a small movie theater, selling tickets. We are on a slow day one month before the first “Iron Man” movie’s theatrical release. A tired looking man in his 50s shows up at the register.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you today?”

Man: *Looking right thru me*Iron Man!”

Me: “Oh, you want to see the upcoming Iron Man movie? I am sorry but this title will only be released next mo…”

Man: “Iron Man!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you may be too early to see Iron Man. This movie is not released in France yet. It isn’t even scheduled for now. The movies planned today are…”

Man: “WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG? I WANT TO SEE IRON MAN!”

(At this point, I don’t know if I am upset or amused by this ridiculous situation.)

Me: “Again, sorry, sir. This title will not be screened before next month.”

Man: “I want to see Iron Man!”

Me: “Yes, you stated that clearly.”

(For half a minute, we stare at each other awkwardly.)

Man: “How many for Iron Man?”

Me: *exasperated* “I CANNOT sell you tickets for a show that IS NOT scheduled yet.”

(My manager, working in a room nearby, must have heard me raise my voice. He stormed out of his office and takes me away from the register.)

Manager: *quietly to me* “You must inform and serve the customer with respect. Go on break. I take care of him”

Me: “Seriously…”

Manager: *To the customer* “Sorry about that. How can I help you?”

Man: “Iron Man!”

(I decided to take my “break” in the room nearby. I heard my manager struggling to explain over and over again that Iron Man was not screened today. The customer finally left and my confused manager apologized to me.)