Category: Movies & TV

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Not Getting Ant-sty Over Bad Puns

| NSW, Australia | Movies & TV, Puns

(I’m selling tickets/food/drink as a theatre cashier. A man (probably a dad) approaches the counter with five children in tow, and, grinning widely, states his request.)

Customer: “I’d like tickets for one man and five ants, please!”

Me: *deadpan* “So, that was one adult and five children to the 11:20 screening of Ant-Man?”

Customer: *crestfallen* “Yes… thank you.”

(I cracked a smile then; A+ for effort! Bad puns should not be encouraged though!)

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Don’t Get Owned By The Violence

| NSW, Australia | Movies & TV

(I am an usher, and wait at the back of the theater while the credits roll for ‘War Room’ (a religious film) as people exit, after which I can begin cleaning. All the patrons have left apart from two ladies. One lady refuses to leave and is dancing to the music. Her friend approaches me.)

Friend: “Great movie. It’s better than all your violent ones.”

Me: *chuckled* “I find it odd how all the violent films are inexplicably mine. Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

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Smells Like Teenage Dispirit

| NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(I am the usher on the opening weekend of ‘Ted,’ and it is quite busy. I walk into the theatre, and notice about ten teens sitting on the floor.)

Me: “Hi, guys, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to find seats.”

(The teens look at each other, then all mumble their refuse, and try to ignore me.)

Me: “Sitting on the floor is against our policy, because it poses a hazard for both yourselves and other patrons. You can either relocate yourselves, or leave the theatre.”

(They leave, swearing at me, and emptying their popcorn in a trail all the way from the last theatre in the building to the front doors, and abuse the manager on their way out.

Me: *angry* “Don’t worry about your popcorn, guys; we’ll clean up after you!”

(I was promptly told off by my manager for letting my anger get the better of me.)