Category: Movies & TV

One Final Lesson For The Student

| UK | Movies & TV, Popular

(It’s opening night for an extremely popular film so we’re very busy. Two people approach my till.)

Customer #1: “Two student tickets for [Opening Night Film].”

Me: “Can I see your student cards, please?”

(Customer #2’s ID checks out but Customer #1’s is past its expiry date.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t accept this. Do you have any other form of student ID?”

Customer #1: “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “This one expired back in July.”

Customer #1: “But it still gets me onto campus.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I do have to go by the date on the card. Do you have anything else?”

(Customer #1 rustles through his wallet and hands me a freshly laminated card that says ‘library’ on one side and his name on the other. No expiry date.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this either. You need to talk to your university ASAP about getting an up-to-date ID or you can purchase [officiated student card] on their website.”

Customer #1: “I can’t do that. I graduated.”

Me: “…You graduated?”

Customer #1: “Yeah.”

Me: “In July?”

Customer #1: “Yeah.”

Me: “You know that means you’re not a student, right?”

Customer #1: “I know.”

Me: “So why are you trying to buy a student ticket?”

Customer #2: *has been silent and unbothered throughout this exchange that has caused a large queue to build up behind them but suddenly chips in* “He thought you would be too busy getting through the queue to check him.” *to Customer #1* “Stop being a cheapskate and buy the tickets already or we’ll miss the d*** film.”

(This is not an uncommon occurrence and all over £2.)

Netflix And Won’t Chill

| Omaha, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular, Technology

Me: “How may I help you today?”

Female Customer: “I was trying to watch something on demand and it would go through. Why is that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, there is an outage for your area for that service at the moment.”

Female Customer: “How the h*** is that supposed to help me? I want a forty dollar credit on my account.”

Me: “Well I would be glad to credit you for the day of service for the inconvenience.”

Female Customer: “Listen here, you son of a b****! I want a forty dollar credit because this is ruining my night. Do you have any idea how much I want to watch my shows?”

Me: “I understand and apologize, ma’am, but there are a lot of people affected by this issue at the moment. You’re not the only one and we can’t give everyone a forty dollar credit.”

Female Customer: “I don’t give a d***! This is my night to watch my shows. My account is more important than theirs! You can handle them on your own time!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you want I can credit you for the day and then if you like I can send a field technician out to you tomorrow after the outage to make sure your services are working fine.”

Female Customer: “Whatever! Just give me the credit! How much is it?”

Me: “Five dollars.”

Female Customer: “Was that so hard?”

(I should add that I may have “forgotten” to tell her about the charge for the technician.)

Do You Wanna Build Biomedical Technology?

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(I work at a science museum. One of the exhibits has paper for visitors to write on, asking what they would like to know about biomedical technology. Since much of our visitors are children on field trips, not all the comments are related to medicine. My coworkers take delight in collecting the funniest ones. One day, my coworker comes in with a stack from the exhibit. After showing people, she hangs it in her cubicle. Curious, I look at it.)

Paper: *in the tell-tale scrawl of a five-year-old* “Hi, I’m Olaf and I like warm hugs. – [Child’s Name].”

(The child even drew a snowman!)

Wants a D’oh!-Nut

| Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

Customer: “What’s that doughnut?”

Me: “It’s a traditional cinnamon doughnut.”

Customer: “Is that the kind Homer Simpson likes? I want a Homer Simpson doughnut.”

Me: “I think he likes all types of doughnuts.”

Customer: *points to another doughnut* “What about that one? Does Homer Simpson like that kind?”

Me: “I guess so?”

Customer: *spying the strawberry iced doughnut* “That one! That’s the kind Homer Simpson likes! I want that one!”

The New Fragrance From Soylent Green

| Dublin, Ireland | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work in a department store, in the fragrance department. I was showing two guys our newest fragrance for men.)

Customer: “Have you ever seen the movie Perfume?”

Me: “Yyyeesssss…”

Customer: “Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “You mean… perfume made of people?”

Customer: “Well, one of them was made of hair.”

Me: “No. I do not have any perfumes made of human hair.”

Customer: “Hmm. Okay, thanks.”

Nearby Female Customer: *laugh-snorts, then runs away*

(The guy then stood there for a further 30 seconds while I looked at him awkwardly before he wandered away.)

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