Category: Movies & TV


Question Their Need For A Ticket

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

(I’m working box office. A woman chatting on her cell-phone approaches me, chatting away.)

Woman: *on phone* “…yeah, uh-huh. That’s what I told him! I know, he won’t listen.”

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Theater]. How can I help you?”

Woman: *on phone* “He’s just being stubborn. You know him. He’s always like this.”

(She continues on for almost ten seconds before looking over to me.)

Woman: *quickly* “Two tickets.” *she immediately goes back to talking*

Me: *awkwardly trying to find my way in* “Two tickets to what, ma’am?”

Woman: *on phone* “Hold up one sec, okay?” *to me* “What?”

Me: “What would you like two tickets to?”

Woman: *scoffing/frustrated* “[Movie].”

Me: *gesturing to our assigned seating chart* “And where would you like to sit?”

Woman: *back on phone* “Yeah, sorry, I’m at the movies. Oh, I know. I haven’t been here in so long. But I’m seeing [Movie] later. I heard it’s pretty good. You should come!”

(She continues talking for almost a full minute while I repeatedly re-ask her where she’d like to sit. Eventually, she puts her phone down for one second and turns to me, and instantly her eyes are fuming with anger.)

Woman: *shouting* “I do NOT like to be ASKED so many f****** QUESTIONS! SHUT IT!”

(It takes almost another full two minutes for the transaction to continue when she finally ends the call.)

Woman: *glaring* “What the h*** did you need so badly to interrupt me?!”

Me: “I need to know where you’d like to sit. Which seats would you like?”

Woman: “Didn’t I f****** ALREADY SAY that I don’t like to be ASKED f****** questions? This is f****** ridiculous!”

(She stormed off without buying her tickets. I’m still confused as to how she expected to get through life without being asked questions, or how she managed when her phone needed to be plugged in to charge for an hour or two, given how important it evidently was to her.)


The Shows Aren’t The Only Thing They’re Missing

| USA | Movies & TV

(Our phone number at work is almost the same as the local cable TV company; just the last two numbers are reversed. I get a lot of calls for them but they usually understand that they dialed incorrectly.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, my cable is out; I need you to come fix it.”

Me: “I am sorry, you have reached [Company], not the cable company.”

Caller: “Okay, but when can you get here to fix my cable?”

Me: “I am sorry, you have the wrong number. [Cable Company] is [Other Number]. If you call them, they can help you.”

Caller: “Okay, here is my address.” *gives me address* “Can you get here soon? I am missing my shows!”

Me: *gives up* “You bet, give us about 15 minutes. Be sure you are standing out on the lawn waving so we can find you easier.”

(She didn’t call back — must still be standing out on the lawn…)


Your Shift Is Bigger, Longer, And Uncut

| Austin, TX, USA | Movies & TV, Non-Dialogue

The ‘South Park’ movie has just come out in theaters, including the theater where I am working. There is no single, key, specific bad customer here; just countless under-age kids trying to sneak in, to the point where corporate office sent a notation that all theaters must post someone inside the door for every showing.

I am the youngest employee, and in fact, one of the only ones who is not old enough to be a parent or grandparent.

As everyone else on the staff actively dislikes South Park, three guesses as to who gets stationed to stand just inside the entry to that theater, day after day, eight hour shift after eight hour shift.

Without meaning to, I have memorized much of the d*** film and can quote dialogue verbatim. Kind of ruined the show for me, and set me on the path of hating bratty, entitled customers. I also heard of a guy at another theater doing the same job who got maced for not letting a middle-school kid into the movie when she tried to sneak in.


Beware The Cable Guy

| USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

(I work at a well-known electronics retailer, and have just finished my shift with another coworker. I clock out as two men come in to the store. One is an elderly man looking to get a TV antenna so he can drop his cable provider, and the other is the man’s middle-aged neighbor. The neighbor has no concept of an “inside voice,” and this whole exchange is done in an aggressive, vaguely Australian shout. Taken aback by the intensity of the neighbor’s voice, I wind up staying past my shift.)

Neighbor: “We’re looking for TV antennas. Do you have those here?”

Coworker: “Yes, sir. What kind were you looking for—”

Neighbor: “Good, good! We want one of those boxes you put on the TV. See, my neighbor here just got a $190 bill from his provider and he wants to drop them.”

Coworker: “Well, we do have indoor antennas, but they may not work well depending on your location. This area is bad for FM TV reception because of the landscape—”

Neighbor: “Yeah, his cable provider charged him $190 and he wants to drop them, but he only watches a few channels.”

(He proceeds to rattle off several cable-only channels.)

Coworker: “Well, those channels are only through cable, so he will not receive those through an antenna.”

Neighbor: “What channels will he get? See, he only watches [repeats list of cable-only channels].”

Coworker: “How many channels he gets really depends on his location, what kind of antenna he has, and where he—”

Neighbor: “Do you have any of the big outdoor antennas?”

Coworker: “Not in-store, but I can check online.”

(At this point I have drawn the old man aside and made him aware of streaming media devices and companies that stream shows over the internet for a small fee. He seems content with that solution, but the neighbor is not.)

Neighbor: “Now wait a minute. How many channels will he get?”

Coworker: “Like I said before, it depends on where you are. These large antennas can pull stations from forty miles away and—”

Neighbor: “What about those things you use to rotate them? And do you have someone to install it?”

Coworker: “We do sell the rotating mounts separately, but we do not have our own installers. You will have to—”

Neighbor: “Why don’t you have your own installers? Will he be able to watch his shows from [Cable TV Network]?”

(This went on for twenty minutes, with the neighbor repeatedly asking how many channels his elderly friend would get, interrupting and misunderstanding our explanations, more comments about the cable bill, giving us unprofitable business advice, and making off-color jokes about a recently deceased comedian that were in very poor taste. They ultimately left without buying anything, leaving us bobbing awkwardly in the eddies left by the man’s strange intensity.)


Just Bladerun With It

| AZ, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Popular, Technology

(I am working the reception desk. I am often told that I should be a radio announcer or a voice actor, because my ‘phone voice’ is so nice. I am also known as the office nerd, able to recite lines from a plethora of geeky films and shows.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, is this a machine? Or are you a person?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I am a Nexus-series Replicant made by the Tyrell corporation. More human than human is our motto.”

(Fortunately, the caller had seen Blade Runner and got a good laugh from it. My normal coworkers rolled their eyes so hard their retinas detached.)

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