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Category: Money

Stupidity That Defies Explanation

, | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a fast food restaurant as a cashier. A grumpy old man approaches my counter with a voucher.)

Me: “Good morning. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with a coffee, and I have a voucher.”

(I take the voucher and ring it up at the discounted price.)

Me: “That’ll be £1.99, please.”

Customer: “What?” *complete with a puzzled/angry expression*

Me: “That’ll cost you one pound and 99 pence, sir.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I want to use this voucher, for a free coffee.”

Me: “Yes, with the voucher that costs £1.99.”

Customer: “No, no.”

Me: “Yes, it does, sir. The voucher is for a ‘free coffee with the purchase of a muffin.’ The bacon egg muffin is £1.99, and that’s all you’re paying so the coffee is free.”

Customer: “NO, I want a BACON AND EGG MUFFIN, and I want to use this voucher for a free coffee.”

Me: *at a loss for words* “Well… yeah, that’s fine, but it will cost you £1.99.”

Customer: “No, I’m not following you. You’ve lost me.”

Me: “Okay. You want a bacon egg muffin, and a coffee, yeah?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Right, and you have a voucher. It says if you BUY a muffin, the coffee is free, yeah?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay. So you must buy the muffin, which costs £1.99—”

Customer: “—no! I want to use the voucher.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t explain it any more simply than that. The voucher says you need to buy a muffin to get a free coffee.”

Customer: “You’ve lost me; I want to speak to someone else.”

(I find my manager, who comes to my aid.)

Manager: “Hi, what was it you wanted?”

Customer: “I want a bacon and egg muffin and a coffee with this voucher!”

Manager: “Okay that’ll be £1.99 please.”

(The customer hands over £1.99 with no qualms! I can finally serve the idiot.)

Customer: *in a condescending tone* “That wasn’t difficult now, was it?”

Me: *in an even more condescending tone* “Nope, it really wasn’t.”

In For A Penny, In For A Pound Bag

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

Boyfriend: “Baby carrots are $0.99 for a one pound bag and $1.99 for a two pound bag.”

Me: “I need two pounds.”

(My boyfriend grabs a two pound bag and a customer next to him does as well.)

Me: “You know, it’s technically cheaper to buy two one pound bags—”

(The customer next to my boyfriend suddenly SLAMS his carrots down, snatches two one pound bags from the display and SPRINTS away.)

Me: “…by one penny.”

Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a gift shop at a castle. A puzzled customer comes up to the till.)

Customer: “How much are your postcards?”

Me: “They’re 50 pence.”

Customer: “So 50p means 50 pence?”

Me: “Yep, they’re the same thing.”

Customer: “Okay, so, I have a certificate for 5.”

(We don’t do gift certificates to the best of my knowledge, so…)

Me: “Sorry; when you say certificate, what exactly do you mean?”

Customer: “It’s like a… bill?”

Me: “A five pound note?”

Customer: “A what?”

Me: *baffled* “May I ask where you’re from?”

Customer: “I’m from California.”

Me: “Right, well, basically, our pence are like your cents, and our pounds are like your dollars. It’s 100 pence to a pound.”

Customer: “OH! That makes so much more sense of all of your shops!”