Category: Money


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m a cashier at a popular retailer on a busy Saturday. An early-twenties man waits in line with a birthday card that says “DAD” on the top, and no envelope.)

Customer: “Do you sell the outsides for these?”

Me: “Yes, envelopes should be directly behind the cards.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I didn’t see them…”

Me: *taking pity on him, as the lines are long and he’s already waited once* “That’s okay. Why don’t you just get it now and go back to pick up an envelope after?”

Customer: “Okay.”

(He proceeds to act like he’d never seen a debit card terminal in his life. I coach him on how to slide his card, and then we get to the cash-back screen.)

Customer: “I thought it was $5?”

Me: “Yes? The total’s $4.34.”

Customer: “But the lowest option’s $10?”

Me: “Oh, um, that’s for cash-back. Do you want cash-back?”

Customer: “Yes. Which button should I push?”

Me: “That depends on how much cash you’d like back.”

Customer: “But which option should I choose? Does it make a difference?”

Me: “It controls how much cash you’ll get.”

Customer: “Will it be more than one transaction?”

(I’m very lost at this point. I decide to go back to the very, very beginning.)

Me: “Sir, cash-back means that you pay the store extra money on your card, and then we give you that extra money in cash. It’s like going to the bank.”

Customer: “Oh! Oh, I don’t want that.”

Me: “Okay, then just hit ‘no.’”

(After all that, he doesn’t remember his PIN and leaves without the card. And then, about half an hour later, he is back at my register.)

Customer: “Do you still have that card?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay, I’d like to pay with this.” *hands me his student ID*

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Run this. It has [University currency from University a few blocks away] on it.”

(This currency is something you, or your parents, can load onto your card to do things like pay for your on-campus laundry with a swipe of your ID.)

Me: “Sir, we don’t take [University] dollars here.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “We’re just a store. We’re not connected to your school. We take real dollars here.”

(He left, and he didn’t come back again.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 51


The Unholy Receipt

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

(I am standing in line and overhear this exchange between the current customer and the cashier.)

Cashier: “Your total is $6.66.”

(There is an awkward pause as they both kind of look around.)

Cashier: “Do you want to add on a candy bar?”

Customer: “No… I just won’t look at it.”

Cashier: “And just throw the receipt away?”

Customer: “Yep!”

Cashier: “Just don’t throw it away in here!”

Customer: “No, I will throw it away outside!”

(The transaction finishes with a couple of laughs and smiles and the customer walks out the door with her purchase.)


Some People Can’t Change

| Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(At our store, we have a self-service lottery machine. It only takes bills and has a clearly printed sign stated it does not give change.)

Customer: “Does this machine not do change?”

Me: *thinking she means ‘give change’* “No, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Oh. I put a dollar in, but oh, well.”

(She leaves without purchasing anything from the machine. About an hour later, a coworker opens the lottery machine door to unload the money for the back office and a rain of quarters clatter to the floor. Apparently the customer had shoved actual change into the bill slot, and was surprised when it didn’t work!)


No Extra For Extra

| Bemidji, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work at a certain fast food taco restaurant. Our town’s 4th of July week carnival has started and as a result, we have been busy all for my entire shift, and I have stayed an hour and a half longer than I was scheduled to. I am in the office counting down a couple of tills before leaving, but I still have my drive-thru headset on.)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *orders $20 or so worth of food, including a nacho platter* “Oh, on those nachos, could I get extra nacho cheese and extra sour cream?”

Coworker: “Sure.”

(He modifies the nachos and the changes appear on the screens inside and at the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Hey, I didn’t want to be charged extra for it!”

Me: *laughing* “Quote of the night.”

(When all was said and done, our sales that day were higher than any other day in the three years I’ve worked there.)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(My husband is in line at the bank. He has to wait a while, as there is a customer being served ahead of him cashing a check.)

Cashier: *to customer* “Just to remind you, ma’am, you can deposit the check, but you can’t withdraw any money from it for a few days.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?! IT’S MY MONEY!”

Cashier: *patiently* “Well, you’ve had six checks bounce this month alone, it’s bank policy, plus overdraft fees from your checks…”

Customer: “What has that got to do with anything? I want my money!”

Cashier: *sighs*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 51
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50

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