Category: Money

Needs To Change Their Attitude To Change

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Money

Me: *finishing the transaction* “And your total is $13.52 today.”

Customer: *hands me a $10 bill and $3.50 in quarters* “Close enough. Have a nice night!” *leaves*

Me: *fishes $0.02 out of my pocket* “You, too?”

Will Need A Large Drink After This

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(A customer places an order in drive-thru. I give them their total and greet them at the window.)

Me: “Hi, your total is [total].”

Customer: “Sorry, can we add a large drink to that?”

(I ring it in and give them their new total.)

Me: “Okay, with the drink your new total is [$3.00 more].”

(She hands me enough money for the original total.)

Me: *counting the money* “Sorry, I just need another $3.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(She doesn’t move, just smiles at me.)

Me: “Sorry, you were $3 short. Your total was [total] and you only gave me [amount].”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…I need another $3.”

Customer: “I’m just trying to figure out why it costs more now.”

Suddenly Thankful For Health Insurance

| CA, USA | Health & Body, Money

(I work as a pharmacist in a pharmacy inside a department store. This takes place on Black Friday and the entire store has massive sales going on; however, the pharmacy is just running under normal business hours. This is the first but not last occurrence this entire day.)

Patient: “You guys are open today?”

Me: “Yes, we are. Just normal hours today, though.”

Patient: “So that means I get my prescriptions half off, right?”

Me: “No, that’s not how it works.”

Patient: “But the entire store is on sale. You guys should be, too!”

Me: “Well, there’s no Black Friday in the pharmacy.”

Patient: “YOU SHOULD!”

Me: “Tell you what; I can give you 30% off the cash price of your prescription. I can’t discount insurance, but I can work with the cash price. Just don’t tell anyone I’m doing this.”

Patient: “Sure!”

Me: “Okay, the cost of your prescription with the discount is… [price around $3000].”

Patient: “What?! I pay $5 normally!”

Me: “Well, that’s the cost of the prescription, so take it or leave it.”

They’re Incoming

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Time

(10:00 am:)

Caller: “Yes, I’d like to get a loan.”

(I explain qualifications.)

Me: “Would you like to apply by phone?”

Caller: “No, no, I’ll come in. I’m coming from [Nearby Town.] May I have directions?”

Me: “Okay, sir, but keep in mind, it takes about an hour to apply and get approved and about 20 minutes to do the loan. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to apply by phone? That way you will know before you drive the hour to get here?”

Caller: “No, I want to come in.”

Me: “Okay, we close for lunch from three to four so to come in to get the loan, you need to be here by 1:30 pm or after four pm.”

Caller: *hangs up without a word*

(2:45 pm.)

Caller: “I talked to you earlier! I’m stuck behind a train. Can you wait for me?”

Me: “Sir, as I said before, what we need to do is about an hour and 20 minutes of work. We close in 15 minutes for lunch. There is nothing I can do until after four pm. You don’t have time.”

Caller: “No, you said as long as I’m there by three!”

Me: “NO, I told you by 1:30 because we close the office at three for lunch.”

Caller: “I’ll be there in five minutes.” *hangs up*

(As I knew he would, he arrives just as I am locking the door.)

Customer: “I made it by three. You have to help me!”

Me: “Sir, you are going to have to wait until four pm. The office is now closed.”

Customer: “But I have to book this cruise!”

Me: “I will help you after four pm.”

(I leave for lunch. Four pm, I come back and he is still there, right outside the office.)

Customer: “NOW can you help me?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

Customer: “But I don’t have any income. Is that going to be a problem?”

Me: “Seriously?”

Not Aiming For A Photo Finish

| IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am a clerk in a small-town newspaper office.)

Customer: *on phone* “Hello, I’d like to purchase the photos of my daughter [Name] that ran on June 13, 14, and—”

Me: “Sir, I can’t place an order for you over the phone, but I can give you directions to order the photos through our website.”

Customer: “Well, that won’t work for me. I’m computer illiterate. And I can’t come in to your office because I’m in [Town more than an hour away]. Can’t I just give you my credit card and you can do it for me?”

Me: “I apologize, but the only way to order copies of our photos is through a third party on our website. Do you have an email address? I can email you directions for using the website. They’re very simple.”

(The customer grudgingly agrees to this and gives me his email address. He promises to call me back if he can’t understand the directions, and I tell him that as long as he is in front of a computer I will be happy to walk him through the process. Sure enough, a couple hours later, he calls back.)

Customer: “Well, all right, I’m at [University] library in front of a computer.”

Me: “All right. Did you receive the directions I emailed to you?”

Customer: “Yes, but they didn’t make sense. I told you, I’m computer illiterate.”

Me: “Can you open the Internet?”

Customer: “Well, now the computer’s restarting. The screen’s gone black. I’m pressing buttons.”

Me: “It might be best to get a librarian to help you.”

Customer: “There’s no one here! It’s just me!”

(I sit on the phone for almost ten minutes while he gets the computer to restart. Eventually he gets a browser open, and it becomes clear to me that he doesn’t understand how to enter a URL into the address bar, but he does recognize Google and knows how to enter search terms. I get him to google our website and walk him through the photo-ordering process. Everything is actually going smoothly until we hit a dead-end on our search for the pictures.)

Me: “Sir, it’s possible the pictures were submitted photos. We only have the right to sell photos that were taken by our staff photographers.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just make a copy of it for me from your files?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. If you send us a check to cover postage, I would be happy to send you some copies of the newspapers.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you can’t just copy it and blow it up to an 8×10. I know you have the printing capabilities to do that at a newspaper!”

(We actually don’t have the capacity to print anything on photo-quality paper in my office, which is one of the reasons we contract with a third party to print and sell our photos online.)

Me: “Sir, I don’t feel comfortable identifying which photos you want if we aren’t able to look at them together. I would hate to send you the wrong photo or the wrong size. Like I said, I would be happy to send you some copies of the newspaper, and you can take them to Kinko’s and make whatever copy you would like.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll send you an envelope, but I don’t understand why I have so much trouble with your newspaper! I’ve left several messages over the last week trying to order these photos and everyone has been too cowardly to call me back! I don’t understand why I can’t just give you my credit card number and you can do this for me! I run a business, you know! I always pay people to do things for me! I demand retribution for the service I’ve received!”

(Yes, he did say “retribution.” I’ve always wondered how someone who runs a business in this day and age can be quite so computer illiterate. I also wonder why someone who runs a business was so eager to give his credit card information to someone who doesn’t work for the company that sells the photos and therefore isn’t authorized to handle credit card information for them.)

Page 9/214First...7891011...Last