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Category: Money

No ID, No Idea, Part 18

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(We ask for ID when the credit or debit card purchase is over 15 dollars. This customer’s total is $97.94.)

Me: “Perfect, red for credit or type in the pin if it’s a debit card.”

(The customer selects credit.)

Me: “All right. Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Why the h*** do you need to see that?”

Me: “To verify that the card matches the purchaser, sir.”

Customer: “That’s why credit cards exist,boy! So that I can purchase whatever I want without ID! That’s how the world works son, isn’t it?”

Me: “Well, sir, how do I know it’s you and not somebody stealing your card?”

Customer: “Because it’s me! Nobody stole my card, did they?! I’m the one buying this right now with this card!”

Me: “I would have no idea of knowing that unless I saw your Identification…”

(He then gave me his ID and was very pleasant for the rest of the transaction. But I guess I learned how the world worked?)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 17
No ID, No Idea, Part 16
No ID, No Idea, Part 15

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 4

| TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a mattress retailer.)

Customer: “I want to see your [price] queen set.”

Me: “Okay, right this way.”

Customer: “Yes, that looks just like the one I bought at [Competitor] for [price $50 higher]. Do you guys have a price match policy?”

Me: “Yes, if you find the same product cheaper somewhere else we’ll match it.”

Customer: “Well, then, I want my $50 refund.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Under your guarantee, you have to refund me my $50!

Me: “But… didn’t you just say that you got it for $50 higher than our price at [Competitor]?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “So, you want us to refund you the $50 despite the fact that our price is lower, and you have never purchased anything from us.”

Customer: “Yes! How hard is this to understand? That’s what a price match guarantee is!”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t refund you money you never spent, plus the price match only applies if you buy the product from us and then find it cheaper somewhere else.”

Customer: “Don’t try and confuse me! You have to give me $50. It’s in writing and I’ll sue you for false advertising if you don’t! You’ll be fired!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, but what you need to do is go to [Competitor] and enquire about their price match guarantee. If you want to return your product there, I would be happy to sell you this one for [price].”

Customer: “I can’t believe your lack of customer service! I’m never shopping here again!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have yet to purchase anything from us in the first place.”

Customer: “Well, I never!”

(She stormed out of the store. I have no idea if she got her $50, but good riddance!)

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 3
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 2
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer

Stupidity That Defies Explanation

, | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a fast food restaurant as a cashier. A grumpy old man approaches my counter with a voucher.)

Me: “Good morning. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with a coffee, and I have a voucher.”

(I take the voucher and ring it up at the discounted price.)

Me: “That’ll be £1.99, please.”

Customer: “What?” *complete with a puzzled/angry expression*

Me: “That’ll cost you one pound and 99 pence, sir.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I want to use this voucher, for a free coffee.”

Me: “Yes, with the voucher that costs £1.99.”

Customer: “No, no.”

Me: “Yes, it does, sir. The voucher is for a ‘free coffee with the purchase of a muffin.’ The bacon egg muffin is £1.99, and that’s all you’re paying so the coffee is free.”

Customer: “NO, I want a BACON AND EGG MUFFIN, and I want to use this voucher for a free coffee.”

Me: *at a loss for words* “Well… yeah, that’s fine, but it will cost you £1.99.”

Customer: “No, I’m not following you. You’ve lost me.”

Me: “Okay. You want a bacon egg muffin, and a coffee, yeah?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Right, and you have a voucher. It says if you BUY a muffin, the coffee is free, yeah?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay. So you must buy the muffin, which costs £1.99—”

Customer: “—no! I want to use the voucher.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t explain it any more simply than that. The voucher says you need to buy a muffin to get a free coffee.”

Customer: “You’ve lost me; I want to speak to someone else.”

(I find my manager, who comes to my aid.)

Manager: “Hi, what was it you wanted?”

Customer: “I want a bacon and egg muffin and a coffee with this voucher!”

Manager: “Okay that’ll be £1.99 please.”

(The customer hands over £1.99 with no qualms! I can finally serve the idiot.)

Customer: *in a condescending tone* “That wasn’t difficult now, was it?”

Me: *in an even more condescending tone* “Nope, it really wasn’t.”