Category: Money

Taxing Faxing, Part 19

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I repair office machines. If a customer calls for service and they are not under contract, we charge a $90 fee, hourly and parts fees, and mileage if the distance is over 30 miles from the office. It’s to make them see what a great deal being under contract is. I get a call from a secretary that their fax machine wont print out faxes. We get this a lot so I ask her to make sure the paper roll is not in backwards (the old machines run off of a roll of paper instead of sheets). She assures me it isn’t. I tell her it will be over $200 for the me to even come look at it so I ask her to check again. She is adamant that the paper is in right and is insulted that I would even insinuate that she is too stupid to know whether or not the paper is in backwards. I tell her I would be down in the afternoon. When I get there the secretary shows me the machine. I step up, remove the paper roll, flip it around and put it back in, turn on the machine and it starts printing. The secretary just stands there with her mouth open. I write up the bill.)

Secretary: “Y… you aren’t really going to charge me all this?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I told you up front what we would charge and I even tried to help you over the phone.”

Secretary: *starts crying* “My boss will be furious when he finds out. I will lose my job over this!”

Me: “I will lose MY job if I don’t demand payment.”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 18
Taxing Faxing, Part 17
Taxing Faxing, Part 16

Game, Set, And (Price) Match

| Utrecht, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am with some friends at this game store playing cards. It’s an old-fashioned store, dealing in board and card games, as well as second-hand games. As such they’re usually not the cheapest, but they do have just about everything and the atmosphere is really great. A couple comes in, both looking rather well off. The store owner is currently putting away a few boxes, so they address us. As we are all regulars, we do know quite a bit about the store’s inventory.)

Woman: “Excuse me, young man, do you have [Particular Game] in store?”

Me: “Ah, yes, I know that one. Should be around here… Here it is. I cannot sell it to you, though, as I do not work here, but she will happily help you.”

Woman: “I’m in a hurry. Just tell me the price.”

Me: “Let me see here… Ah, it’s €24,95.”

Woman: “That’s unreasonable. They’re only €19,95 at [online store]; I demand you match that.”

Me: “Ma’am, as I told you, I don’t work here, but she will be happy to help.”

Woman: “Match the price now or you just lost a sale!”

Store Owner: “Ma’am, as he told you, he doesn’t work here. Not that he could’ve lowered the price anyway even if he did. [Online Store] buys in massive bulk. We’re just a small store; we cannot price match. But we do offer the service of you being able to return it without a deadline, and a customer service they cannot possibly hope to match, which is why it is €24,95.”

Woman: “Well, I never. You have no idea how to stay in business, if you don’t price match at all! This is why you aren’t rich and I am.”

Store Owner: “I am sorry, but I simply cannot price match for you. And for your information, we’ve been in business for well over 20 years by now.”

Woman: “But you have to price match this for me or you lost a valuable customer.”

Woman’s Husband: “Please excuse us.” *he starts guiding her out* “They can’t price match, so buy it online, you stingy woman!”

Woman: “THEY SHOULD PRICE MATCH! THIS IS BAD BUSINESS!”

Had A Bit Too Much Glue As A Child

| McCracken County, KY, USA | Money

(I am a window clerk. One of my favorite questions is “how much is a 39-cent stamp?” Just to make it interesting one day I reply: “with, or without glue?”)

Customer: “How much is either one?”

Me: “Well, the ones with glue are 39 cents; the ones without glue are 39 cents.”

Customer: “Give me the one with the glue. I don’t mind paying extra.”

Taking A Price Hike Strike

| UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Money

(I work for one of the major energy suppliers in the UK, in the department that deals with accounts that have not been paid for at least 18 months and are in the process of being taken to court for a warrant. When the energy prices surged, we got a lot of customers calling to complain about it, understandably so, but some customer’s tried to use this to their advantage.)

Customer: “Yeah, I’m calling to say I won’t be paying my bill.”

Me: “Unfortunately you will have to pay it. If you cannot pay it all in one go, I can talk you through various payment plans.”

Customer: “Nope. I’m not paying. You’re charging me too much. I’ve been watching TV. Watchdogs are investigating you lot for charging more than you need to, jacking up your prices too quickly, and not putting them down. I’m not paying these inflated prices!”

Me: “Let me check your account a moment.”

(I check the customer’s account. The price rises happened a few months ago, but the customer hasn’t been paying for about eighteen months. Also, he’s on a fixed price plan which means that his tariff will stay the same even if the energy prices go up and down. I also note his plan should have expired six months ago but due to a system glitch, it has kept him on this low plan.)

Me: “Sir, it appears you have been unaffected by the price increase. You have been on a fixed price plan, which, due to a technical error on our end, has kept you on it six months longer than it should have. As this was our error we will keep the bill at the rate it has been charged up to today, but you must make arrangements for this balance.”

Customer: “But if I’m on the low plan why is my bill so high? It’s £1000!”

Me: “That’s not just one bill, it’s six. You haven’t been paying us anything.”

Customer: “But £1000 is extortion! You must be charging it at the jacked up rate!”

Me: “What kind of home do you have? Is it a flat or a house?”

Customer: “House. Three bedroom.”

Me: “And who lives there with you?”

Customer: “My wife and our two kids.”

Me: “Well, your average monthly usage over those 18 months is about £55 which is excellent for a family of five in a three-bed house. It’s lower than the national average.”

Customer: “But the bill says £1000, not £55.”

Me: “Yes, but that is 18 months worth of bills. it’s six quarters. Six bills. If you divide £1000 by the 18 months it is for, you get £55. That’s your average. You haven’t cleared any of the balance so it keeps going up and up. Now, would you like to discuss any payment plans?”

Customer: “No! I’m not paying! This is too high. It’s too much. You jacked up your prices and in protest, I am not paying.”

Me: “I just explained you have been unaffected by the price changes.”

Customer: “So? It’s the principle of the thing. You can’t just hike up prices and expect people to pay them. I won’t pay in protest.”

Me: “Would you at least consider paying the bills that came out before the price increase?”

Customer: “Nope. I won’t pay you a penny until you lower your prices.”

Me: “This is going to court for a warrant in a few months. If you do not resolve your account before then, the warrant allows them to come into your property and fit you a prepayment meter to control the debt.”

Customer: “When is the court date?”

(I give the customer the court date on the system.)

Customer: “Good, I’ll go to the court and explain to the judge.”

Me: “The judge will not accept you are protesting price increases that you have not been affected by, or that you are refusing to pay bills that have been outstanding way before these price increases. If it goes to court, fees will be added to your account – these can be up to £300.”

Customer: “Don’t worry, the judge will take my side. They know what crooks you all are. By the end, you’ll have wiped off all my debt and be paying me money.”

Me: “The judge will not find in your favour because as I said you have been unaffected by the energy price changes, and even if they did, you’d still be expected to pay for the energy you used before the price increase.”

Customer: “We’ll see about that.”  *hangs up*

The Value Of The Dollar Is Niagara Falling

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

(The company I work for is one of the many which takes photographs of people in tourist destinations.)

Customer: “I want my photos. They are really nice.”

(The customer proceeds to take out American currency, which is not exact.)

Me: “We can accept the American dollar, but I cannot give you back change in American. You will receive $1.75 cents back in Canadian.”

Customer: “WHAT? WHY?”

Me: “Well, we are in Canada, and it’s our company’s policy. I can take card, if you prefer.”

Customer: “No. I don’t want ANYMORE of your Canadian money. I can’t use it. I don’t care how small the change is, I DO NOT WANT IT.”

Fellow Employee: “You can use it up at the coffee shop if you’d like—”

Customer: “NO. NO COFFEE. NO MORE OF THIS.”

Me: “Well, there’s nothing I can do, then. I am sorry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.”

Me: “You are in Canada. Would you anticipate getting American back in say, Britain? Australia? It’s our legal tender. It’s a courtesy we extend to you because our banks also use Canadian currency.”

Customer: “MAYBE I’ll just order online. This is ridiculous.”

Me: “All right, please do so. Have a nice day.”

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