Category: Money

I’ll Need Some ID, And A Song…

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Funny Names, Money

(I work in retail in a small strip of stores in a relatively well-off rural area. Due to a policy we should all follow (though few actually do) I ask everyone paying with a credit card for ID. A few stores down from us, there’s a salon named after its owner. For the sake of this story, let’s say her name is Emma.)

Customer: *hands me credit card*

Me: “All right, can I see some ID from you, super quickly?”

Customer: “Oh, okay, but I’m Emma. You know, [Emma’s Salon]?” *points at her apron with the salon name*

Me: “Ah, sorry, I’m new… but I should still see your ID.”

Customer: “But I’m Emma!” *in a sing-song voice* “EM-ma! Emmaemmaemma Emmaaaaa! Em-MA! Emma EM-ma Emmmmmmmma! Eeeeeeemmaaaaaa! EM-MAAAAA! Em-MA, Em-MA, Em-MAAA!”

(This went on for at least a full minute. She did show me her ID eventually. I don’t think I’ll ask her again, though…)

Honesty Begins At Home(owner)

| USA | Money

(My store has a price for contractors and a higher price for regular homeowners. We’ve tried various ways to subtly ask if a caller is a contractor, so we don’t lose their business by automatically giving out the higher homeowner price, but the subtle ways haven’t worked well. This caller has already been borderline rude before this exchange.)

Caller: “Yeah, how much is your [Product]?”

Me: “Sir, are you a contractor or a homeowner?”

Caller: *snottily* “Well, which answer is gonna get me a better price?”

Me: “The one where you’re a contractor and can PROVE it.”

Caller: “D*** it, fine. I’m just a homeowner.”

Got Your Scam Tagged

| Norway | Liars & Scammers, Money

(I’m working at a local thrift shop and I am going about my business in the store when a customer comes up to me with a sweater.)

Customer: “How much is this sweater? The tag is gone!”

(I at once suspect she tore off the tag since it’s happened before and I hung out that sweater just a couple of hours ago with the tag still intact.)

Me: “That’s about $15.” *I know it’s really $10*

Customer: “NO! IT’S F****** NOT! It’s $10!”

Me: *grins* “Oh? How do you know this? The tag is gone, remember?”

(The customer ran out the door shouting obscenities towards me and I never saw her again.)

Now They’re Reply-All Knowing

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m the stupid one in this story. This is from a few years ago, before I knew not to send credit card info by email at all, but this took it a bit further. I’m on the phone with my credit card company’s customer support line:)

Agent: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card Company]. This is [Agent]. May I have your account number?”

(We exchange the account info and I answer the appropriate security questions.)

Agent: “And how may I assist you today?”

Me: “I need to deactivate my card and have a new one issued.”

Agent: “I can certainly help you with that. Was the card lost or stolen?”

Me: “Not exactly…”

Agent: “…?”

Me: “I sent my credit card info by email, but I accidentally hit ‘Reply All.’ So my credit card number, expiration date, and security code got sent to about 150 people.”

Agent: *after ten seconds of silence* “I see. Okay, I have deactivated your card and ordered a replacement. It should arrive in 3-5 business days. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “No, that’s it. Thank you. And thank you for not laughing.”

Agent: “You’re welcome, sir.”

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The Devil’s Discount

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Non-Dialogue

The store I work at does electronic coupons tied to people’s membership cards. I have a couple come through to buy a bunch of stuff. The total is $66.60. They aren’t really happy with that so they decide to buy a fountain drink for $0.90. No problem; scan it, and total again.

They have a coupon for a free drink. Total is still $66.60.

Thankfully they were ultimately amused rather than angry.

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