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Category: Money

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Acting Cold Caller

| UK | Bad Behavior, Money, Popular, Time

(I know that cold calling isn’t anyone’s favourite thing, but it’s my job and I need to pay rent. It isn’t a scam company, but a call centre for a gas and electric company; we dial people who have opted into marketing; they always deny it, but they’ve clearly forgotten or misread the marketing. My current customer seems a little too eager to do the quote. He takes the time to get his current info about his supplier and his energy usage and so on.)

Me: “So, just a few more minutes of your time and I’ll get that set up for you now.”

Him: “No.”

Me: *continues with the spiel of why it’s a better deal* “…so, why would you not want to go for it?”

Him: “Because I don’t want to go for deals offered by people who phone me up when I didn’t ask for it.”

Me: “Then why did you even do the quote?”

Him: *smugly as he possibly can* “Well, you’re wasting my time so I figured I’d waste yours as well.”

Me: “I’m paid an hourly rate, sir; I just technically made £3.50 in the half an hour we spent on this call.”

(The guy stammered and hung up. I honestly get why people hate cold calling, and in all fairness, so do I, but some people I call are just so badly-behaved and I love these tiny victories I can get over them.)

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52

, | Ede, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular, Technology

(I work for a large Dutch Internet provider, at which I am working as a billing expert for the tougher customers with the more difficult questions.)

Me: “Hello, [Internet Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I did not receive any bills by mail. You apparently just stopped sending me the bills. Now I have a huge debt, and because of your mistake I cannot use the Internet any more.”

Me: “Well, Mrs. [Customer], we stopped sending you bills by mail three years ago. Every once in a while you make a payment. But your funds stopped being enough to cover the costs several months ago.”

Customer: “Yeah… because you stopped sending me bills a few months ago. That’s your mistake. Now I am paying for a service that I cannot use anymore.”

Me: “Several years ago we stopped sending customers’ billing by mail as the default option. You can now login on our members’ site to read and even download you bill for free. We sent all customers e-mail and mail to tell them we were planning this move. If you still want to receive a bill every month with specifics, we require a payment of €1,00 on top of your normal fee.”

Customer: “Still, you stopped sending them a few months ago. So, it is your fault at [Internet Provider] that I cannot use Internet at this moment.”

Me: “Billing by mail as default is no longer an option. Clients that require billing by mail—”

Customer: “You are lying, you b*stard! You’re not taking me seriously.”

Me: “I’m so sorry you think that of me; I assure you we have all customers in high regard. Yet we stopped sending bills by mail a few years ago. You currently have a debt of six months worth of bills. By law every consumer is required to keep in check their payments themselves. We can only send you reminders to suggest that you pay us, of which we sent you at least four letters in the past six months. Clearly you were very lucky. Normally, when customers do not pay for two months or longer, they get shut off. You managed to keep your services for quite a bit longer.”

Customer: “I immediately require to have my Internet back. Now, please.”

Me: “We can give back your services to you today, but in return we require one of the two following options: 1) you can pay us the difference (upwards of €400,00) in one transaction today, or 2) you agree to a payment plan to catch up the difference.”

Customer: “Sure… I am not paying you to be shut off; I am paying you so I can use my Internet.”

(Getting a bit tired of this whole back and forth process, my tone becomes a little more harsh, yet still professional.)

Me: “Mrs. [Customer], firstly, it is our service we are providing; Internet is of and for everyone. Secondly, you did not pay for at least six months, so to be fair, you are not paying us for anything, and if one does not pay we do not serve. I am sorry.”

Customer: “And whose mistake was that? That I did not pay?”

Me: “Not ours, ma’am. You yourself managed to pay us for the last couple of years without your bills by mail, so the only reason for not paying the last 6 months is with your finances.”

Customer: “It is not my responsibility to pay. It is yours!”

Me: *sighs* “Ma’am, I can only help you any further if you mean to pay us. The responsibility of payment is entirely yours. I can offer you a plan or a way for immediate payment.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to a manager right now! It is not correct of you to shut me off, especially if the fault is entirely yours that I did not pay.”

(As I am the manager, I could not go any higher up the chain, so I ended the conversation as politely as possible, with the advise to call back when the woman was able to pay.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 51
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 49

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Coupons Are More Taxing Than They’re Worth

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I work at a department store that is well known for its ‘cash coupon’ deals–where for every fifty dollars you spend you earn a ten dollar coupon. Because the fifty dollars you must spend does not include taxes, occasionally people will be confused that their total was 50+ dollars but they did not earn a coupon. I try to provide ample warning if I see they are particularly close to earning a coupon.)

Me: *I have just finished ringing up her purchases* “Ma’am, I notice you are about three dollars away from earning a cash coupon. Would you like to add a chocolate bar to your purchase so you can meet the cut-off?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I’m fine. Here’s my card.”

Me: “All right, then, that’ll be [total] on your card. Here’s your receipt. Have a great day!”

Customer: “Where’s my coupon?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “My cash coupon! I spent fifty dollars. I should have gotten a coupon.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. You have to spend fifty dollars before taxes to get a coupon. You were about three dollars short.”

Customer: “You should have told me!” *stomps off*

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A Cent-less Complaint

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

Me: “Ma’am, your copay for your prescription is five cents.”

Customer: “You selfish little c***! My copay should be zero! Does it look like I have that kind of money on me!?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a nickel. I think you can find one in the cup holder of your car. I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you your prescription without it being paid for.”

Customer: “Well f*** you and this f****** store! I’m calling your management!”

(Two hours later.)

Boss: “We had a complaint about you today. Care to explain?”

Me: “She couldn’t pay for her five cent prescription.”

Boss: *rolling eyes* “Go home.”

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Cash Back Attack, Part 2

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(I’m working our drive-thru lanes with another teller. A customer comes through our business lane and asks that I exchange some coins for him. I do this, give him cash back in a sealed money envelope, and he drives off. 10 minutes later, he comes back through the drive-thru…)

Customer: *to me* “You! You didn’t give me enough cash back!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “YOU SHORTED ME $20! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Is it stuck to another one of the bills, sir?”

Customer: “Of course not. This is what you gave me. I want my d*** money right now!”

Me: “Let me go count my drawer and I’ll see if I can find that $20 for you.”

(I count my entire drawer, and discover I balance perfectly.)

Me: “Sir, my drawer is perfectly balanced. Are you sure the $20 isn’t stuck to something else?”

Customer: “I don’t give a flying s*** if your drawer is f*****g balanced! You cheated me out of my d*** $20 and I want you to give it to me RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Please don’t use that language with me.”

Customer: “I can talk however the h*** I want!”

Me: “I’ll ask you again to not to use that language with me. What I will do is get a supervisor to count my drawer again.”

Customer: “You tell your supervisor to get her a** over here right f*****g now!”

(I grab a supervisor. She counts my drawer slowly and makes sure the customer can see her through the window. Again, it comes up balanced.)

Supervisor: “Sir? Her drawer is coming up balanced. I’ve checked her transaction history and it’s showing she gave you the $20.”

Customer: “SHE DID NOT! SHE CHEATED ME OUT OF MY $20! CHECK HER!”

Me: “EXCUSE ME?!”

Supervisor: “I’m not going to do that. I have no proof that she did anything other than give it to you.”

Customer: “GET ME A NEW TELLER AND MY $20 OR I’M GOING TO ANOTHER BANK!”

Coworker: “Sir, did you look on your seat for the $20?”

Customer: *looks down* “…Oh. Here it is. Right on my seat.”

Supervisor: “Good, I’m glad you found it. Now, have a nice day.”

Customer: “I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t cheat me. I don’t like to be cheated. I guess I’m sorry.”

(My jaw drops. I click the drive-thru mic off and mouth “Shame on you” at the customer as he drives away.)

Supervisor: “A**hole.” *looks at me and my coworker* “Sorry! I shouldn’t have said that. Are you okay, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, you only said what we all were thinking…”

Related:
Cash Back Attack

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