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Category: Money

Should Have Made An Earlier Check

| WA, USA | Money

(It is April 15th and I work in a tax office. The office is actually fairly quiet, as most of our clients have already completed their taxes or filed extensions, so I have more time to answer calls. The phone rings, and I answer.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help?”

Caller: “I think I’m in trouble. I already filed my taxes a month ago, and wrote a check, but it hasn’t cleared yet.”

Me: “Are you a client of ours?”

Caller: “No. Do you think the IRS got my check?”

Me: “You said you sent it a month ago? Did you mail it certified?”

Caller: “No. Do you think they got it?”

Me: “I’m 99.9% sure the IRS did not get your check.”

Caller: “How do you know?”

Me: “They’re extremely quick to take your money. They were even taking payments during the government shutdown.”

Caller: “Crap, what do I do? Can I call the IRS?”

Me: “You technically can call the IRS, just not today.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s deadline day. During the off season hold times are measured in hours. Today you’d never even get through. Plus, it’s past seven on the east coast, so I’m pretty sure all the agents are drunk right now.”

Caller: “What do I do?!”

Me: “Stop payment on the first check, write another one, and get thee to the post office and send it certified. You have forty minutes. Have a good day!”

Channeling Through Some Good

| USA | Money, Movies & TV

(I work in a call center for paid TV service. They’ve recently lost a major broadcasting contract over the price for some VERY popular channels. Said channel viewers are known for being… let’s say fanatical.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “What’s happened to [Channel]?”

(I explain the expiring contract, reasons behind it, and how we are trying to resolve it. Then I brace for the outrage I am getting all too used to.)

Customer: “Why they being so mean to you guys?”

Me: *dumbstruck over this response* “I… uh. don’t know but I guess everyone wants more sometimes.”

Customer: “They’re just being greedy! I’ll wait this out; don’t let them get what they want!”

Me: “Uhh… well, I guess I’ll report that as feedback.”

(This was hands down the most polite person on this issue I have talked to so far. This call single-handedly made every other call that day seem much better!)

A Very Low-Rent Girl

| Dublin, Ireland | Bad Behavior, Money, Rude & Risque

(I work as a representative for a landlord as he has many apartment buildings. I collect the rent and deliver it to him. I deal with any problems that the residents have. I also deal with people whose rent is overdue. I am speaking with a young woman.)

Me: “Do you realise that your rent is one month overdue?”

Woman: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize; can I pay it now?”

(I go to get a form for her. When I come back, she is lying on the desk, completely naked.)

Woman: “Is this enough to pay my rent?”

Me: “If you put your clothes on right now I will pretend this didn’t happen.”

(She walks up to me.)

Me: “Miss, I recommend you put your clothes on right now or I will have to contact the landlord.”

Woman: “Oh, come on. I know you want it.”

Me: “Miss, there is a security camera in the corner.”

(She looked up, screamed and calls me a pervert, and then ran out of my office. A few seconds later she ran back in, grabbed her clothes, and ran out again.)