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Category: Money

A Very Low-Rent Girl

| Dublin, Ireland | Bad Behavior, Money, Rude & Risque

(I work as a representative for a landlord as he has many apartment buildings. I collect the rent and deliver it to him. I deal with any problems that the residents have. I also deal with people whose rent is overdue. I am speaking with a young woman.)

Me: “Do you realise that your rent is one month overdue?”

Woman: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize; can I pay it now?”

(I go to get a form for her. When I come back, she is lying on the desk, completely naked.)

Woman: “Is this enough to pay my rent?”

Me: “If you put your clothes on right now I will pretend this didn’t happen.”

(She walks up to me.)

Me: “Miss, I recommend you put your clothes on right now or I will have to contact the landlord.”

Woman: “Oh, come on. I know you want it.”

Me: “Miss, there is a security camera in the corner.”

(She looked up, screamed and calls me a pervert, and then ran out of my office. A few seconds later she ran back in, grabbed her clothes, and ran out again.)

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| CO, USA | Money, Religion, Technology

(I graduated with a PhD in mathematics from a major state university, but being from a fairly tight-knit family, when a storm takes out power to my grandfather’s family-owned business many family members go to help keep things running.)

Customer: “I’m so glad you’re open without power. I can finally get some shopping done.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess a power outage has its upsides, frees up some time.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I had a vision from God, and he told me that math and money were created by the devil…”

Me: “Umm… and the storm changes that how?”

Customer: “Well, without power, you don’t have those machines to add for you, so we can go back to good old fashioned charity, like God intended.”

Cousin: “You do realize we can do the math in our head, right? I mean this guy has a PhD in mathematics. I think he can add some prices up. Also, we have a backup generator; the registers should be up now.”

(The customer couldn’t get out of the store fast enough, brandishing a cross at the cash registers. Apparently, anyone who can do some mental addition is a servant of the devil; that or he wanted free stuff, your pick.)

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

Not Tipped To Be A Good Night

| NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(A woman’s 60th birthday party of about 100 in our fancy venue has just ended. The party in general hasn’t been very good tippers despite their flashy attire, many requests, and heavy drinking, but the people are nice enough.)

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches DJ* “I just want to say thank you so much! The music, the ambiance you provided, was perfect and we all had a wonderful time!”

DJ: “Thank you, miss. No problem, we had a good time.”

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches a coworker and me changing a tablecloth* “Thank you so much! You worked so hard, the food was delicious, and the service was absolutely great. On point. We will definitely be back! You guys deserve a raise in salary tonight!” *winks, squeezes my arm, and walks away*

Me: *whispering to coworker* “Yeah, it’s called a tip…”