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Category: Money

You Are Not In The House Of Cards

, | Olympia, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work in the food court of a warehouse store. We have signs that clearly say ‘cash or check only’ above the registers. Someone comes up and orders their food.)

Me: “All right, let me get that for you!”

Customer: *attempts to hand me a card*

Me: “I’m sorry, but we only take cash or check on these registers.”

Customer: “What? Since when?”

Me: “I don’t think we have ever taken cards because we don’t have a card reader.”

Customer: “Well, why not? It would make life so much easier!”

Me: “They charge us every time the card reader is swiped, and since we make very little profit on our food, we would have to raise the price.”

Customer: “Well then, raise it! I don’t see why people would get so upset!”

Me: *gets food* “All right, that will be $1.63.”

Customer: “WHAT? It’s $1.50 up on the board.”

Me: “There is tax on it.”

Customer: *grumbles about ‘raising prices on food being ridiculous’ as he hands over the money and stomps off*

Refuses To Walk A Mile In Full Price Shoes

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Spouses & Partners

(We are currently having a shoe sale which is ‘buy two and get a third pair half price.’ The sign also states they have to be purchased in the one transaction. A woman comes in; her English is not very good so communication is a little difficult. She has bought two pairs on a previous day and now wants a third pair half price. I try to explain to her about the one transaction rule, but she looks very confused. She is very nice and I feel bad for her. She leaves looking confused and disappointed. Only after do I think of returning the two pairs she previously bought and then selling them back to her together with the discount. A little while later she comes back with her husband, who speaks better English. I’m happy to see her since figuring out a solution, until her husband opens his mouth and is extremely rude.)

Husband: “You need to sell these to my wife at half price like your sign says.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I tried to explain that the deal is—”

Husband: “—I don’t care what the ‘deeeaaalll’  is. My wife bought two shoes so she gets a third pair half price.”

Me: “Okay, I understand. Like I was saying they have to be bought in the same transaction but—”

Husband: “I. DON’T. CARE. You refused to serve my wife. Now you will give them to her half price or I want to see a manager!”

Me: “I’m sorry if I have upset your wife, and I’m happy to help. Just let me just explain first. I can’t override the system but what I can do is—”

Husband: “NO! This is ridiculous.” *he rants for a while longer, then smiles weirdly* “You know what, I just want to return these two shoes for a full refund.” *he then turns and murmurs to his wife* “Then we’ll just buy them back and get the half price.” *sniggers*

Me: *inwardly sighing* “Okay, I can refund them if you like.”

(As I’m doing the refund he is murmuring nasty things under his breath and I’m tempted to refuse service, but I feel bad for his wife so just keep smiling and decide to kill him with kindness. I finish the refund and then straight away put the sale back through with all three items, with the half price included.)

Me: “Sir, the refund is all done.”

Husband: *talking down to me very smugly* “Excellent. Now here is what we’re going to do. I’m going to buy all three of these back, with the half price. What do you think of that?”

Me: “That’s a very good idea, sir. I did try to tell you I could do that for you before. In fact, I’ve already put the sale through for you, I just need you to sign here for your card and I can print the receipt for you.”

(The shock on his face was priceless. I sincerely hope his wife enjoyed those shoes… and found a better husband.)

Their Welfare Status Is Okie Dokie

| New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Money

(I am a dental assistant at a dental surgery and move between answering phones and assisting the dentist. We have irate patients regularly, who get treatment done and then claim they weren’t told how much it was and refuse to pay, or try to get refunds on treatment already received, or try to get money refunded that was paid for by the government. This particular patient was the latter case. I have come up with a useful way to deal with these stressful phone calls.)

Me: “Good morning, [Dental Clinic]!”

Patient: “It’s [Patient]. You guys told me I’d be getting my money refunded for my dental care! I want my money back and you haven’t put it in my f****** account!”

Me: “Just give me a minute sir, while I bring up your file and have a look… Oh, I see. Yes, the money for your dental care was being refunded, but since your care was paid for by [Welfare], the money will be refunded to them.”

Patient: *suddenly polite* “Oh, no, no. [Welfare] told me that you can give it to me and then I’ll give it to them. No problem!”

Me: “I highly doubt [Welfare] would have told you that, sir. We deal with [Welfare] directly, and will refund the money straight back into their account.”

Patient: “THAT’S MY F******* MONEY! You mother-f***** con-artists better give me that money! I DESERVE THAT MONEY!”

Me: “No need to swear, sir. There is really nothing more to discuss.”

Patient: “YOU GIVE ME THAT GOD-D*** MONEY!! IF I DON’T SEE THAT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT BY TOMORROW, I WILL COME AND SEE YOU!”

Me: “Okie dokie. That won’t be happening, sir.”

Patient: “I’M SERIOUS!  I’LL COME DOWN THERE! YOU BETTER TELL YOUR BOSS TO WATCH HIS BACK!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir.”

Patient: “I KNOW WHERE HE PARKS! I DESERVE THAT MONEY! YOU GUYS ARE RIPOFFS, F****** C****!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir.”

Patient: “F*** YOUR ‘OKIE DOKIE!’ GO TO H***!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir. I’m hanging up now. Have a nice day.”

Patient: “F*** YOU. IF YOU HANG UP I’M RINGING BACK UNTIL I SEE THAT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir. Goodbye.”

Patient: “I SAID F*** YOUR OKIE DO—” *click*