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Category: Money

Banana-Drama, Part 2

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(It’s around nine pm, and only my first week at this new store. I’m a cashier and my bagger is helping me with the register when I need help. An elderly woman walks up to the counter.)

Me:“How are you tonight, ma’am?”

Customer: “Horrible! I can barely afford to buy groceries, but there are little girls winning Miss America pageants and I have to scrape pennies to buy food! It’s not fair!”

(I can’t get a word out before she starts going on about God and becoming an atheist.)

Customer: “Why, God?! Why?! Why me?!”

(At this point, several employees have gathered and are watching her have a full blown breakdown in the store. She throws her items on the belt and I ring them up, and wait for her to stop screaming. She finally stops.)

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you?”

(All the other employees, most of them teenagers burst out laughing. She throws her card at me and I scan it. I give her her total, and all h*** breaks loose.)

Customer: “Jesus Christ, I can’t afford that! Take it all off; I don’t want it!”

(I void all the items off and she says she will buy one banana. I weigh it and give her the total. She then starts dumping her purse out on the counter and starts throwing pennies at me. I count them and tell her she still owes an amount of cents. She throws more pennies on the counter and complains that she is spending her life savings on one banana. At this point, all my coworkers are just staring at her speechless. She ends up taking the banana, and I try to give her her change of one cent back and she walks out waving the banana around cursing God. Then she reenters minutes later and goes through another lane with bread and does the same thing with the other cashier. After she leaves, the cashier, who is actually a manager, walks over to me and says:)

Manager: “I hate my life.”

Gives New Meaning To The Pink Dollar

| ACT, Australia | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Money

(At the store I work at, we sell gift cards for a certain popular online music store, with pre-set values of $20, $30, and $50. To help tell the difference between the cards, they are colour-coded, with $20 being pink, $30 being blue, and $50 being green. One day, an old lady comes up to my register with a $20 card.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but do you have these $20 cards in blue?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, the $20 [Music Store] gift cards only come in pink.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I really would like a blue $20 [Music Store] card.”

Me: “All the $20 cards are pink, I’m afraid. Why were you after a blue card in particular?”

Customer: “Well, I want to buy this card for my grandson’s birthday, but I can’t get him a PINK card. That’s a girl’s colour! He’s a boy; he needs a BLUE card!”

(The customer is a bit grumpy at this point, and I am a bit put off by her gender stereotyping, but I try to remain polite and helpful.)

Me: “Oh. Well, as I said, we unfortunately do not have blue $20 [Music Store] cards.”

Customer: *disappointed* “I see.” *pause* “Are you sure you don’t have any blue ones out the back?”

Me: “Positive, ma’am. The $30 [Music Store] cards are blue. You could spend and extra $10 and get one of those.”

Customer: *outraged* “$30?! I love my grandson, but not that much!”

Should Have Made An Earlier Check

| WA, USA | Money

(It is April 15th and I work in a tax office. The office is actually fairly quiet, as most of our clients have already completed their taxes or filed extensions, so I have more time to answer calls. The phone rings, and I answer.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help?”

Caller: “I think I’m in trouble. I already filed my taxes a month ago, and wrote a check, but it hasn’t cleared yet.”

Me: “Are you a client of ours?”

Caller: “No. Do you think the IRS got my check?”

Me: “You said you sent it a month ago? Did you mail it certified?”

Caller: “No. Do you think they got it?”

Me: “I’m 99.9% sure the IRS did not get your check.”

Caller: “How do you know?”

Me: “They’re extremely quick to take your money. They were even taking payments during the government shutdown.”

Caller: “Crap, what do I do? Can I call the IRS?”

Me: “You technically can call the IRS, just not today.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s deadline day. During the off season hold times are measured in hours. Today you’d never even get through. Plus, it’s past seven on the east coast, so I’m pretty sure all the agents are drunk right now.”

Caller: “What do I do?!”

Me: “Stop payment on the first check, write another one, and get thee to the post office and send it certified. You have forty minutes. Have a good day!”