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Category: Money

Going On And On And Coupon

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I used to work as a cashier at [Large National Chain]. One afternoon I am ringing out an elderly couple’s groceries. The elderly woman has a duplicate coupon for an item that she can only use one for. I give it back to her and try to explain that we don’t allow duplicate coupons. The woman becomes irate.)

Elderly Woman: “We already spend so much money here! Why can’t we just use it?”

Me: “Ma’am, you only have one of those items, and the coupons are only good for one item each. You can get another one and use the coupon, but I can’t ring the second one up when you only have the one item.”

Elderly Woman: “I don’t understand. My husband and I spend so much here. Can’t you just allow it?”

Me: “I can’t. I’m sorry, but the coupon won’t even scan, and I’m not allowed to hand-key it in at this location.”

Elderly Woman: “That’s stupid. Just forget it.” *throws her items at me* “I don’t understand why you can’t just do it when I spend so much money here.”

(I apologized to the woman and continued scanning her items. Later, I was working at the customer service desk and she went up and complained about me. To me.)

No Sign They Read The Sign

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I work at the self-checkout registers, helping customers with machine errors and doing theft prevention. Four of our self-checkout registers do not accept cash, to save space.)

Customer: “Where do I insert my cash?”

Cashier: “Sir, this machine accepts debit and credit only. It does not accept cash”.

Customer: “Really? You should have a sign that says that”.

Cashier: “Actually, we have several. There’s one posted just above the register in bright orange, one above the self checkout entrance, and at the beginning of the transaction, you pressed the button that says ‘yes, I understand this machine doesn’t accept cash.'”

(The customers always, with a red face, quickly and quietly run to one of the cash machines!)

A Taxing Customer

| UK | Criminal & Illegal, Money

(I work as a tax collector for the UK tax office. I phone guy who owes tax.)

Me: “Hello, is that Mr [Debtor]?”

Debtor: “Yeah.”

Me: “I’m [My Name] from HM Revenue and Customs. I’m phoning about your outstanding tax.”

Debtor: “No, you’re not.”

Me: *pause* “Um, yes, I am.”

Debtor: “No, you’re not.” *click*

(I pause. Maybe I gabbled the first bit. I say the same thing so many times a day it becomes routine. I phone back.)

Me: “Mr. [Debtor]. I’m sorry; I seem to have got off on the wrong foot.”

Debtor: “Whatever.”

(I can hear what sounds like a pub in the background; maybe he’s putting on an act for his mates.)

Me: “I need to talk to you about your debt. If you don’t pay we will enforce the debt, either by distraint, which is removal of goods for sale at public auction, or by placing you in county court and asking for judgement against you.”

Debtor: “Do what you got to do mate. Now f*** off!”

(A few weeks later, I get a phone call transferred to me.)

Debtor: “You’ve put me in court.”

Me: “You told me to, sir.”

Turning Into A Boating Disaster

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(I work at a Japanese restaurant, and we do take-outs.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order some takeout, please.”

Me: “Sure! Please take a seat and fill out our takeout menu form, sir.”

(A couple minutes later, the customer approaches me.)

Me: “Hi, ready to order?”

Customer: “Actually, no. It says here on the menu that you guys sell sushi boats for takeout?”

Me: “Yes, we certainly do.”

Customer: “Does it come with the wooden boat?”

Me: “Unfortunately, since this is a takeout order, the love boat order will be packed in a large plastic tray.”

Customer: “Oh, d***. The only reason I would ever order that is if it came with the boat!”

(The customer places his order, and says he’ll be back in 20 minutes to pick it up. He comes back 10 minutes later.)

Customer: “Is my order ready yet?”

Me: “It should be about 10 more minutes. Sorry about that. Would you like a water or hot tea to drink while you wait?”

Customer: “No! Actually, do you know where I can buy alcohol at this time?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I am not of legal drinking age yet so I wouldn’t know.”

Customer: “Does that mean I get a discount on my food?”

Gun Control Out Of Control

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Money

(Today is the day before Thanksgiving. I went to a grocery store to grab a couple of last minute supplies and the card reader won’t scan my really old debit card. I reach into my wallet and go to hand the cashier cash when she flinches and ducks behind the counter.)

Me: “Hello, you okay down there?”

Cashier: “Oh, sorry, I thought you were pointing a gun at me.”

Me: “Why on earth would I do that?”

Cashier: “Because your card was declined.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “Open carry.”

Me: “People really pull guns on you over ten bucks worth of groceries?”

Cashier: “Yeah, they want to make sure our freedom to be an a**-hole is protected, I guess.”

(I paid for my groceries and spoke to her manager about getting her a gift card. Grocery stores shouldn’t be war zones. Leave your guns at home!)

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