Category: Money

Talking Turkey About Cold Cuts

| Charleston, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(It is just after one of the months where all of our sandwiches were $5. The promotion is over, so now only a few regular sandwiches are $5. I ring up a woman’s foot-long turkey sub and the total came out to about $6.)

Female Customer: “No, it’s supposed to be $5.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. That promotion is over. The prices are back to normal.”

Female Customer: “But that sign says cold cuts are $5.”

Me: “No, it says the cold cut combo is $5.”

Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut.”

Me: “Okay, but it’s not a cold cut combo. That’s a completely different sandwich.”

Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut!”

Me: “…”

Female Customer: “You’re just trying to trick all of us! Turkey is a cold cut!”

(She then proceeded to storm off without her sandwich and yelled at me she hoped I was happy I had lost her business. Yeah, the person making $7.25 really cares about the store losing a customer.)

Has An Expensive Chip On His Shoulder

| Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

Customer: “How much are the bags of chips?”

Me: “Just a little over two dollars with tax.”

Customer: “What? That’s unreasonable! Why would you charge me that much?”

Customer’s Wife: “Shut up. What makes you think that poor girl set the prices on the chips?”

No Money, More Problems

| Washington, DC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a law office that represents banks in their dealings with the SEC, Federal Reserve, FDIC, etc.)

Caller: “I need bankruptcy help!”

Me: “We represent banks in their dealings with federal and state regulators.”

Caller: “I need to file bankruptcy!”

Me: “We don’t do that here.”

Caller: “Well, who does?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir.”

Caller: “Let me talk to the lawyer. He knows.”

Me: “We don’t do that sort of work, sir. We can’t help you.”

Caller: “I’ll tell everyone about you! I’ll tell your boss you’re not helping me! You’re supposed to help me! It’s in the Hippocratic Oath!”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.” *hang up*

A Small Charge To Cure The Hiccups

| Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I am a teller at a bank, and I have a nasty hiccup I cannot get rid of. A customer approaches me, having questions about his savings account. He also has a 50 Euro bill in his hand. I answer his questions, while trying to suppress my hiccup. When I hand him his documents he had given me before, he takes them, turns away, then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Where are my €50 notes?”

Me: “You did not hand it to me.”

Customer: “I did give it to you; it was in my savings book.”

(I panic, because our branch is pretty busy, and sometimes I forget things. I look around for the €50, even underneath the service station, but nothing. We argue about the money for a bit, and then he smiles.)

Customer: “Sorry, I have the money. I just needed to scare you a bit to help you get rid of that hiccup.”

(I was staring at him while he proceeded to the cashier to put the money onto his savings account. I was shocked, but he was right: my hiccups were gone!)

The Refund Is Complimentary

| USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Money

Customer: “I don’t like my free gift; it looks cheap. I want to return it.”

Customer Service Representative: “I am sorry to hear that. However, it was a complimentary gift. It was included free of charge.”

Customer: “It’s just ugly! It is a piece of crap. I don’t want it. I want a refund.”

Customer Service Representative: “If you wish to return it you will have to ship it back at your own expense. As I said, it was complimentary. BUT, I guess if you want to continue insulting it, it will negate the compliment. Be as rude to it as possible. Problem solved. Consider yourself refunded. Have a nice day!”

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