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Category: Money

He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It’s Black Friday and the line has never shortened or ended since we opened.)

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys sell World of Warcraft subscriptions?”

Me: “Yes, we do. The cards are over there on that carousel. They only come in a two-month pack, though, so it’ll be $29.99. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect. It means I can get rid of these!”

(At this he takes out a GIGANTIC zip-lock bag of quarters and plops it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it in disbelief for a second and look helplessly at my supervisor… but he’s staring helplessly, too. In fact, the rest of my coworkers and most of the Black Friday line are staring.)

Coworker: “You don’t happen to have an alternate form of payment, do you?”

Customer: *cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the several withering glares being sent his way* “Nope!”

(I had no choice but to count out $30 in quarters in the middle of Black Friday. Ten minutes later, after he gets his subscription, picks up his giant zip-lock bag, and leaves, the next customer comes up with an aghast look on his face.)

Next Customer: “It’s Black Friday, for f***s sake! Who DOES that?!”

It Would Be Penny-Wise To Accept Them

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

Me: “Okay, sir, that’ll be £[Total], please.”

Customer: *begins rifling through his fanny pack for change* “Oh, god.”

Me: “You all right?”

Customer: “I… just… It won’t…”

Me: “Do you not have the right change?”

Customer: *brings out two fistfuls of change and plants them on the counter* “Oh, god.”

Me: *worried* “Umm?”

Customer: *continues to rifle through fanny pack and draws another fist of pennies* “Nooo.”

Me: “Sir, I think this is plenty. I—”

Customer: *moans as if in pain as he brings out two more fistfuls* “THEY’RE BREEDING!”

(I’m still laughing.)

Cash Back Flack

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. When paying with a debit card, customers can choose to get cash back from their checking account.)

Customer: *absent-mindedly clicks through the buttons on the electronic payment keypad*

Me: “All right, here’s your $50 cash back.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask for that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am. You were asked if you wanted cash back, pressed yes, then the $50 amount.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t! I just kept pressing ‘yes!'”

Me: “Well, the “yes” button on the first screen becomes the “yes” button for cash back, then the $50 button for the amount. It’s an easy mistake to make if you’re just pressing it over and over.”

(I am still attempting to hand her the $50 she pulled out.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t want that!”

Me: “I HAVE to give it to you, ma’am. It’s your money from your account. I can’t keep it.”

Customer: “Well, just put it back in my account!”

Me: “That’s not how cash back works…”