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Category: Money

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Should Have Cashed Out Early

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(I’m a customer in line for an ice cream fundraiser. There are three teenage girls in front of me and one cashier. Ice cream is $3.)

Girl: *to friend* “Hey, do you have change for a five?”

Cashier: “You need change?”

Girl: “Yeah, do you have five ones for a five?”

Cashier: “You’re buying ice cream…?”

Girl: “Yeah, but I need five ones for a five.”

Cashier: “I can just… You want me to keep three of them?”

Girl: “No! I want five ones for a five.”

Cashier: “Okay… here you go.”

Girl: “Thanks. Ice cream is $3?”

(The girl takes three of the ones the cashier just gave her and hands them back to the cashier.)

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Wifibyby

| Åland Islands, Finland | Money, Technology

(I work at the reception of a camping site. As I’m handling one client, another one asks for the wireless password.)

Client: “Do you have a wifi?”

Me: “Yes, right over there.”

(I point to a glass bowl in which we keep pieces of paper with the password of the wlan written on. I finish with the other customer and turn to the lady, who is still standing at the desk, looking concerned.)

Me: “So, it’s fairly slow, and it works when it wants to, but at least it’s free.”

Client: “Sorry, what did you say?”

Me: “Only that the wireless is really slow, but it’s free and sometimes it works.”

Client: “Oh! Oh! I read this sign and it said 65 €, and I thought, wow, that’s kind of expensive!”

(Turned out she had been reading the price list with the prices of accommodation and camping with us. We laughed it off as she gratefully took a free password.)

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Six Figures Under

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(I work at a call center for a life insurance company, providing information and support for agents and policy holders. I’ve actually had this conversation more than once.)

Caller: “I want to know why my beneficiary change wasn’t processed. Why was I sent a new form?”

Me: “Okay, if you just give me the policy number I can bring up your file and see what the problem is. Are you John Smith?”

Caller: “That’s me.”

Me: “Okay, and it looks like you wanted to name your beneficiary as… John Smith.”

Caller: “That’s right.”

Me: “Sir, you can’t be the beneficiary of your own policy.”

Caller: “Well, why not? It’s my policy.”

Me: “Yes, but in order for the policy to pay out, you have to be dead.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. It’s my money.”

Me: “Well, technically, yes. If you really want to take it with you, I suggest making arrangements with a funeral home to ensure that you are buried with it.”