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Category: Money

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Talking Cheap Baloney

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer approaches me at the register. He is wearing a shirt that indicates he is involved with a particular youth organization.)

Customer: “Do you have any cold sandwiches here?”

Me: “We have a few in the deli case there, and there’s also a [Pizza Chain] that does sandwiches across the street—”

Customer: “I don’t want to give them my business.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, the sandwiches we have are right down the aisle there.”

Customer: “They have a special, a large cheese pizza for [price] so I asked if I could get a large pepperoni for that price instead because it’s for [Youth Organization] but they said no, that it would be [slightly higher price] to add pepperoni. I can’t believe that!”

(The customer inspects our sandwiches and then leaves. I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “I know that ‘thrifty’ is one of the values of [Youth Organization] but there’s a line between that and just plain cheap!”

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You’re Cheap And That’s The Tooth

| Belleville, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I’ve taken my mother to the dentist’s office, and I’m sitting in the waiting room for her to be done. A lady comes rushing in, and has the following conversation with the receptionist…)

Woman: “Hi, I’m sorry, but I have a crazy request! I’m going to a doctor’s appointment, and I forgot to brush my teeth! Can I get a toothbrush from you? Do you have free toothbrushes, like, to give to patients? I don’t have time to go out to a store!”

(This street has a drug store, at least three grocery stores, about four convenience stores, and a big chain retail superstore all within a quarter mile. And this is a small town, where stores are all crammed onto a few main streets that you have to take to get anywhere.)

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any dental hygienists, so we don’t carry toothbrushes to give out, even to patients.”

Woman: “Oh, no! But I’m going to a doctor’s appointment. I need to brush my teeth, and I just saw your sign and thought maybe you’d have some!” *laughs loudly*

Receptionist: “Well, sorry. There is a drug store right up the street.”

Woman: “No, then I’d be late! Oh, well.” *runs out*

(I don’t know why she thought walking into a random dentist office and trying to explain all that would on the slim chance that they might give her a toothbrush would be quicker than stopping into a store. Somehow, I got the feeling she just wanted a free toothbrush.)

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Convenience Is Not On The Cards

| USA | Money, Technology

(I take payments from our customers. The following situation happens on a regular basis.)

Customer: *by email* “Please charge my invoice to my credit card on file.”

Me: *after trying the card, and it is declined* “Your credit card ending in 1234 was declined. If you would like to use another card, please call me with the number.”

Customer: “Oh, that card was compromised/had fraudulent charges on it, so I had to get a new one. The new card number is—” *gives entire card number, expiration date, security code, and billing address*

Me: *after deleting the credit card number* “Thank you for your new credit card number. In the future, please call me if you have a new credit card.”

Customer: “Why? Emailing it is so much faster.”

Me: *facepalm*