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Category: Money

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The Key Is To Tip

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Popular

(I work at a local high-class restaurant as a busboy. I was out cleaning tables when one of the hosts came up to me.)

Host: “Did you happen to see a hotel key on [table number]?”

Me: “No, I didn’t.”

Host: “Okay. The customer said he swore he left it on the table.”

Me: “Well, if I saw anything, I would have given it to you.”

(Truth be told, I didn’t bus that table. The server actually beat me to it. Out of curiosity, I approached the server later and asked her about it.)

Me: “Hey, did you happen to find a hotel key on [table number]?”

Server: “Yeah. I threw it away.”

Me: “Why?!”

Server: “Because the dude was an a**, and he also didn’t tip me. I’ve only not been tipped three times in my entire career. He can rot.”

(Moral of the story: The wrath of an un-tipped server is strong. Please tip your servers.)

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You’re Only Embarrassing Yourself Now

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Popular

(I work as a manager for a local grocery store in town where I live. The store itself only ever gets busy during the summer months since it is a big tourist destination. Not only is it busy but we are understaffed so I am on register trying to clear up some of the lines.)

Me:“All right, sir, your total is [total] dollars.”

Customer: *swipes his card*

(My register declines his card due to a transmitting error between our systems and the bank.)

Me: “Do you mind swiping your card again, sir? My register declined your card.”

Customer: “Well, that’s odd; I just filled my account. I should have $7000. This is embarrassing.”

Me: “Oh, nothing to be embarrassed about, sir. It seems to be a problem with our machines.”

Customer: “All right, then, but this is embarrassing.”

(He swipes his card again and the register declines it for the same problem.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir, this is really odd. Do you have another payment option you’d like to try?”

Customer: “Can you be a little quieter? This is embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to hear.”

(He swipes a different card.)

Me: “Great, this card went through, sir. Would you like the receipt?”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

(The customer leaves and I tend to the rest of my line before I close the register so I can quickly get other tasks done before I am needed again. I grab some baskets and stray carriages, and do some cash pick-ups. At this point my arms are full and I end up talking with another customer who needed assistance when suddenly the embarrassed customer walks in again, and barges into the conversation.)

Customer: “Yeah, hi there, I just got off the phone with the bank and they are telling me that my card was declined because of a machine reading error or something.”

Me: “Sir, I know. I told you that earlier when your card was declined.”

Customer: “I wanted to make sure, though. Also, that was really embarrassing for me so please keep that in mind next time this happens.”

Me: “No problem, sir.”

Customer: “I spoke to your manager over there, too, so she knows to train you on this.”

Me: “Sir, I am the manager. That is one of my cashiers.”

Customer: “You’re too young to be the manager; don’t lie. You’re only embarrassing yourself now.”

(The customer then complained to my cashier again about me lying. She pointed out that I am the manager and he looked embarrassed again and then quickly left. I really wanted to hit him the entire time he was speaking.)

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App-parently Stupid

| Opelika, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular, Technology

(I work in a chat center contracted to a large cell phone carrier. My department covers their customer care and sales chats. Currently, there is a special in which iPhones are $99 with a two-year contract. The following is an interaction between my coworker who works sales and a customer.)

Customer: “Hi! I was just wondering… How much is the $99 iPhone?”

Coworker: “It’s $99.”

Customer: “Oh, gosh, thank you so much! That is a lot less than what I was expecting!”

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Cucumber Blunder

| USA | Food & Drink, Money, Popular

(We have both native organic cucumbers, and cucumbers from more temperate states on sale. Native cucumbers are 69 cents for one, whereas the shipped-in cucumbers are two for 99 cents. Produce department has signs up advertising the 69 cents price but because the cashiers don’t have a code for native cucumbers and they’re not in our produce lookup on the registers, our manager told us to ring them in as shipped-in cucumbers which is actually a better deal for the customer.)

Customer: “You made a mistake.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Look at this.” *thrusts receipt in my face* “Look!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand the problem.”

Customer: “Native cukes!”

Me: “What…?”

Customer: “Native cukes! I got them native cukes!”

(I check his receipt and it says he was charged for two cucumbers.)

Me: “How many did you get?”

Customer: “Two!”

Me: “Well, it looks like that’s what you were charged for, so I don’t understand what the problem is. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “69 cents!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Native 69 cents cukes!”

Me: “Okay. Sir, please calm down. I’m having trouble understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “I’m supposed to be charged 69 cents for native cukes! Look at this! ‘Two cucumbers at two for 99 cents’!”

Me: “Yes, sir, you bought two so you were charged for two. I’m still not understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “Two. Cukes. 69 cents. Them are 69 cent cukes and I got charged 99 cents for two.”

Me: “Sir. We don’t have a code for native cucumbers. We have to ring them in as standard out-of-state cucumbers. Are you telling me you’re unsatisfied with spending 39 cents less than what you would have had to pay?”

(The customer stares at me like I have three heads, then crumples up his receipt and throws it at me before storming out of the store.)

Me: “Glad we could provide excellent service for you today, sir!”

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A Fee-ble Attempt

| Silverdale, WA, USA | Money

(I work for a sub-agency for the state that has a five-dollar fee per transaction. There is also an optional five dollar donation on every transaction.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to make the donation today.”

Me: “I took the donation fee off, but we do have a five dollar office fee here that sort of cancels it out. So your total is [total].”

Customer: “What?! How dare you charge me just to come to this office? I demand you take that fee off!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. I cannot do that. We are not run by the state, so the only income this office has is that five dollar fee. If I didn’t charge it to you, I wouldn’t get paid.”

Customer: “Do you think I care if you get paid?”

Me: “Probably not, but I do. I cannot take the fee off. If you would like to avoid paying it, you can always pay through the courthouse. They don’t charge it.”

Customer: “Fine!”

(The courthouse in question is over 30 miles away. He will most definitely be paying more than $5 in gas just to get there!)

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