Category: Money


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46

| Eugene, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work as a teller, and one of my jobs is to field phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m trying to make an online purchase with my debit card and it’s not working! I need you to fix this.”

Me: “Well, sir, it sounds like your card may be blocked. I can transfer—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No! This is a brand new card; I just got it today from the bank. Now they told me it would work, and it doesn’t!”

Me: “That’s odd, let me…”

Customer: “And another thing! How do you get away with issuing already expired cards?”

Me: “Well, sir, our temporary cards expire after a set time, but they are always good when issued.”

Customer: “No! This one says February 18th, right on there! Now today is the 24th, which means this is expired!”

Me: *face-palm* “Sir… all cards list the expiration date as month and year. That is February of 2018 listed on the card, and I assure you if you use that date you will be able to make your purchase.”

Customer: “That’s… that’s not what I was told! I was told this would expire this year!”

Me: “Yes, sir. The temporary card will. However it must have the same expiration date listed on it as the permanent card with the same number that is being mailed to you. I promise, February of 2018 will work.”

Customer: “Well… I suppose I’ll try it. But that’s darn foolish!” *click*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

A Cent-less Discount

| Windsor, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Money

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name], and how is it I can assist you this evening?”


Me: “All right, sir. I can definitely assist you with that.”

(I go through basic troubleshooting and resolve the issue.)

Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”


Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How do you plan to compensate me for this? I wasn’t able to use my service for an hour and a half. I had to just sit here with nothing to do, and then I’ve been on the phone with you for an hour and a half, and I want compensation!”

Me: “Okay, so you were out for an hour and a half and spent 15 minutes on the phone with me, and you want compensation. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and how much is that going to be?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir, let me check your bill and I’ll find out.”

(Since throughout the entire call the customer had been rude and screaming at me I decide I am going to go completely by the book and not just give him a 5 dollar credit, like I normally would. After checking his bill and calculating it down perfectly to the hour and 45 minutes I come back to the phone and inform him:)

Me: “All right, sir, so after calculating how much it cost you for the hour and 45 minutes you were out of service, it comes to a grand total of 37 cents. Would you like me to apply this to your bill?”

Customer: “Oh, h***, no! I want more than that. I want your supervisor!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately my supervisor is not available at this time of night, and it cost you 37 cents for that hour and a half and how long you’ve been speaking to me. Now, is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Customer: “No!” *click*

(I did apply the 37 cents credit just to rub it in his face for being such an unpleasant person.)

Yesterday, All My Combos Seemed So Far Away…

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It is my second day: An old customer comes in and rattles off a long combo order. Still getting used to the registers, I hit a wrong key, which causes the price to register without the combo discount.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Old Customer: “NO, it is NOT! It should be [different amount]. You did the same thing to me last week!”

Me: “…I just started yesterday, sir.”

Should Have Declined The Marriage

| USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Money

(Customer walks up with his wife and a basket of items of which he spends ten minutes looking over and returning over half. With what he’s kept he lets me ring him out, then decides to pull out a check that has been scribbled over with five different store names.)

Customer: “You can take this as long as I initial it, right?”

Me: “Actually, sir, I don’t think I can because of the amount of times it’s been written over.”

Customer: “Oh, sure, you can take it.” *he tries to write our store name in the bottom corner*

Me: “I’m afraid not. However, if you have any other tender I can take that.”

(He has a white out pen in the items he is trying to purchase.)

Customer: “What if I used white out? Can I open that one and see if it will work?”

Me: “You unfortunately won’t be able to use it until it’s purchased. I can call my manager just to ensure you we can’t take the check, if you’d like.”

Customer’s Wife: “Well, then, do it. We don’t have all night for your incompetence.”

(The manager arrives and states that we cannot take his check but are glad to take any other tender.)

Customer’s Wife: *to her husband* “Just great! Give me your card, dumb-s***. Probably nothing on them since you’re always broke.”

Me: “Sorry, that card was declined.”

(She storms out of the store while he husband is asking her a question.)

Customer: “Sorry, she wrote on my last check to the wrong place.”

(He continues to slide cards that are coming up declined. Eventually he gives up and before leaving shouts:)

Customer: “Don’t ever get f****** married!”

Mother Is Due For A Conversation

| Dhaka, Bangladesh | Family & Kids, Money, Technology

(My mom just hung up on a call center employee about her phone bill.)

Me: “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Mom: “The d*** people at [Phone Service call center] won’t reduce my phone bill!”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “Look!”

(She hands me the bill, which says that her current bill is BDT 4200, with this month’s charges being 500, and dues being a bit over BDT 3500.)

Mom: “I don’t even talk that much on my phone! All I do is get an Internet package every month and make a few calls! It shouldn’t be this high!”

Me: “Mom, you do see that it says here that you didn’t pay the last few bills fully, so you have dues of over BDT 3500, that is added to your existing bill.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much! It shouldn’t be BDT 4000!”

Me: “Mom, that’s the DUES. Not this month’s bill. This month’s bill is BDT 500.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much!”

Me: “Mom, you didn’t pay fully—”


Me: “So, even though you didn’t pay your bill fully and have dues, you still think your bill should be less? The dues you racked up should just be forgotten?”

Mom: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

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