Category: Money

To Protect And To Steal

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a donut shop in lower Manhattan. A clearly homeless guy in a police uniform walks in holding clearly a fake gun.)

Homeless Man: “Give me all your money! This is police business!”

(I slowly start filling a bag with money, but before I do so, my coworker calls the police. Eventually, the police arrive, and as they do the homeless man begins to pretend to be a police officer trying to find the suspect.)

Homeless Man: *groaning* “Now where’d that man go. He must be gone. Too bad.”

(He ended up getting arrested and turned out to be a former police officer trying to find some cash.)

Antisocial Assistance

| New Brunswick, NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(Because of the latest hurricane knocking out power in my city for almost two weeks, people on social assistance have been coming in with food vouchers for groceries. It says on the voucher for FOOD ONLY, so many customers need to pay for other essentials separately. Because of this, they usually need to be done at customer service.)

Supervisor: “We have a large order from social assistance at register 10. They already started, so I said it was okay to suspend the transaction when they’re done and bring it over to you.”

Me: “Thank you! Please make sure the cashier knows not to ring through anything that isn’t food. It has to be separate.”

(The supervisor leaves and later comes back, telling me the customer is being very aggressive to the cashier about it.)

Me: “Sir, it looks like you’re purchasing cleaning supplies. We can’t do it on the same bill that you use your voucher on. We can do it separately, and it’ll only take two min—”

Customer: “No. I want to pay the difference. I’m already over the amount anyway.”

Me: “While that’s all well and good, Social Assistance will refuse to pay us back if we don’t. Please put the cleaning supplies up so we can void them out.”

Customer: “But I’m already over the amount. I want to do it on this bill.”

Me: “Sir. I can’t. I need to do it separately.”

Customer: “Fine!” *turns to his wife* “We got a pair of f****** Nazis over here.”

(The customer practically threw the TWO items at me, continued to argue with my supervisor, and stormed out without the cleaning supplies.)

Supervisor: “Did this really just happen?”

Refuses To Understand The Weight Of The Matter

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Money

(I’m a shift manager at a frozen yoghurt shop. It’s self-serve, and we charge by weight – doesn’t matter if it’s toppings or yogurt, it’s all $0.42 an oz. We have large signs above the yogurt machines, toppings, and entrance advertising this.)

Customer: *grabs a bowl, bypasses the yogurt, and fills it 2/3 of the way with chocolate sauce before setting it on the scale*

Me: *calculates her price* “That’ll be $4.53!”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “That’ll be $4.53 for you today.”

Customer: “For chocolate sauce?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We charge by weight; it’s 42 cents an ounce.”

Customer: “I know, but don’t you charge less for the toppings?”

Me: “Everything is the same price.”

Customer: “You’re charging me $4.53 for chocolate sauce?!”

Me: “Everything is priced by weight, 42 cents an ounce, both toppings and yogurt.” *I point to one of our signs*

Customer: “I’m not paying over four dollars for chocolate sauce! [Local Ice Cream Shop] charges 50 cents for their chocolate sauce!”

Me: “They charge 50 cents for a scoop of chocolate sauce on your ice cream. We charge by weight for all our items. You got a bowl of chocolate sauce.”

Customer: *shaking her head vigorously* “I’m not paying this much for chocolate sauce.”

(Before I could say anything, she immediately threw the unpaid for bowl of chocolate sauce in our trashcan and turned to leave. Now angry, I started to say that she needed to pay for the food she got, but she just shot me a furious look and hightailed it out of there.)

When Religion A-tax

| GA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Popular, Religion

(I’m the night auditor/overnight clerk at a random hotel adjacent to the interstate in Georgia. A potential client comes in around one am.)

Customer: “I’d like to rent a room.”

Me: “I have space available. Tonight’s price is [total] plus state and local tax.”

Customer: “I don’t have to pay tax.”

(Customer presents tax exemption form from Florida, naming a church, which exempts church activities from Florida state taxes.)

Me: “Well, I’m not familiar with Florida tax rules, but this doesn’t exempt Georgia taxes. I can’t waive them with this form.”

Customer: “You’re going to Hell.”

Me: “I’ve been through an audit. Hell sounds better. But if you are here on official business, it’s a simple matter to file for a refund in Georgia. I’m afraid that I can’t waive sales and use tax with these forms.”

Customer: “Thou whited sepulcher.”

Me: “Render unto Caesar.”

Customer: “God is going to smite you!”

Me: “I’ll be glad to rent a room to you, at [total] rate, plus tax. If you won’t pay the taxes, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Customer: “I don’t pay taxes! God’s people don’t pay taxes! If anyone calls for me, forward my calls to [Hotel across the street, which also collects proper taxes.] Good evening!”

Next Customer In Line: “What do you drink? You dealt with that like someone who drinks after work!”

(The next customer checked in, paid for his room and taxes, and came to the lobby an hour later with a six-pack for me.)

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Not Such A Toll Order

| PA, United States | Criminal & Illegal, Money, Popular, Transportation

(I work as a toll collector on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, near the Ohio border. Most people we deal with are friendly enough, but sometimes we get some oddballs.)

Me: “Ticket, please.”

Woman: *talking on phone*

Me: “Excuse me. Ticket, please.”

Woman: *on phone* “One sec.” *to me* “What ticket?”

Me: “The ticket you were given when you entered the turnpike. Unfortunately, because you don’t have your ticket, we need to charge you full price.”

Woman: “That’s bull****! I want to get through! I don’t need to pay you!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need to pay the toll. [Price], please.”

(At this point a line is forming. Someone honks.)

Woman: “You know what? You f****** lowlife! Scum! You’re trying to cheat me! You just want my money! You’re just like the tax collectors in the Bible! ”

(She then proceeded to throw a Starbucks cup at me, then drove off screaming. However, she’ll get charged for it anyway because I wrote her license plate number down.)

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