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Category: Money

This S*** Is Expensive

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(I am the only cashier working in a fairly busy convenience store. A small elderly woman comes up to the counter with a few laxative-based items.)

Customer: *sweetly* “Can you price-check these for me, dear? I only have [amount] and I need to make sure I don’t spend too much.”

Me: “Sure!” *rings up items* “Your total today is [more than what she has].”

Customer: “Jesus Christ! How much should I have to pay to take a s***?!”

(I am taken aback by this funny exclamation, as it is coming from a sweet old lady. So, I say the only thing I can think of at the time:)

Me: “The struggle is real, ma’am.”

Customer: *sighing* “Why, yes, it is, sweetie. Can you put everything on a credit card?”

Surprising Enterprising

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

Caller: “I need you to come down and fix a tire on my car. It’s flat.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’m a bit backed up at the moment, so it will be about an hour before I can come down.”

Caller: “I need to go to [Next Town Over] this afternoon so I need it fixed as soon as possible.”

Me: “That’s fine. I can take care of it by noon, but like I said I have customers here in the shop so I can’t just leave just yet.”

Caller: “Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll call [Competitor] and see if he can come down, and whichever one of you gets here first gets the business.”

Me: “No, I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. If you call me down I expect to get the business because you asked me to fix your tire for you. If I get down there and someone else has already fixed it then I’d still have to charge you a service call fee.”

Caller: “What? I’m not paying you for not doing anything.”

Me: “You’re asking me to leave the shop and burn my gas to come down in hopes I get there first. I’m not going to play that game. If you want to call [Competitor] and have them do it instead I’ll understand, or you can wait an hour and I can come down.”

Caller: “I don’t see what the problem is. That’s free enterprise. If you get here first then I’ll pay you to fix it.”

Me: “And if I don’t get there first, I’ve wasted my time and money. ”

Caller: “That’s why you compete for business.”

Me: “We compete by providing better service and lower prices, not by who has the faster truck. You make an oral contract with a business, you should be willing to pay. You wouldn’t order a pizza from two different pizza places and tell them whoever delivered first gets your business, then expect the loser to just eat the costs.”

Caller: “Sounds okay to me. They should give better service.”

Me: “Well, anyway, do you want me to come down or not?”

Caller: “Okay. It’s [Address].”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be down there as fast as I can. Don’t call anyone else to fix it, or if you do call me back and let me know so I don’t waste time driving there.”

Caller: “One more thing… can I wait to pay you tomorrow?”

Me: *face-palm*

One Pint Of Stubbornness

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a small independent pub which is near to several large chain pubs. As a result, people are sometimes put off by the fact we have slightly higher drink prices. Guinness is among one of the most expensive drinks we sell.)

Me: “Hi, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi there. Can I have a pint of Guinness, please?”

(I go and pour half of his pint, before returning to charge him for it.)

Me: “That will be £3.90 please.”

Customer: “What?! That’s outrageous, you can get it for £3.40 across the road!”

Me: “I understand that. Unfortunately, as we are an independent pub, we cannot afford to match the prices of the larger chains, especially with the high buy in cost of Guinness.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you make it cheaper? It’s just absurd!”

Me: “No, I have absolutely nothing to do with the prices I’m afraid. We do have [large selection of other drinks] for a lot cheaper if you’d prefer.”

Customer: “No, I’ll have the Guinness, but that’s unacceptable! How can you charge that much?! I wouldn’t work somewhere that charges so much. It’s ridiculous!”

(I keep trying to explain to him why it is so expensive and offer him alternatives but with no success. He does however pay for his drink, and I place it in front of him.)

Customer: “It’s not that I can’t afford £3.90; I can!” *shows me the money in his wallet* “But it’s the principle! Just ridiculous. Where is your sink?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your sink! I refuse to drink something that costs so much; it’s going down the drain!”

Me: “Sir, you’ve already paid for it. There is really no need for that.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll chuck it down the toilet, then. I refuse to pay that much for a drink!”

(The customer then went to the bathroom and came back seconds later with an empty pint glass, ranting loudly about high prices and how we were all c***s for charging that much. I would understand if he’d refused to pay for the drink as some people do, but paying for it to chuck it down the toilet?)