Category: Money

Refuses To Understand The Weight Of The Matter

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Money

(I’m a shift manager at a frozen yoghurt shop. It’s self-serve, and we charge by weight – doesn’t matter if it’s toppings or yogurt, it’s all $0.42 an oz. We have large signs above the yogurt machines, toppings, and entrance advertising this.)

Customer: *grabs a bowl, bypasses the yogurt, and fills it 2/3 of the way with chocolate sauce before setting it on the scale*

Me: *calculates her price* “That’ll be $4.53!”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “That’ll be $4.53 for you today.”

Customer: “For chocolate sauce?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We charge by weight; it’s 42 cents an ounce.”

Customer: “I know, but don’t you charge less for the toppings?”

Me: “Everything is the same price.”

Customer: “You’re charging me $4.53 for chocolate sauce?!”

Me: “Everything is priced by weight, 42 cents an ounce, both toppings and yogurt.” *I point to one of our signs*

Customer: “I’m not paying over four dollars for chocolate sauce! [Local Ice Cream Shop] charges 50 cents for their chocolate sauce!”

Me: “They charge 50 cents for a scoop of chocolate sauce on your ice cream. We charge by weight for all our items. You got a bowl of chocolate sauce.”

Customer: *shaking her head vigorously* “I’m not paying this much for chocolate sauce.”

(Before I could say anything, she immediately threw the unpaid for bowl of chocolate sauce in our trashcan and turned to leave. Now angry, I started to say that she needed to pay for the food she got, but she just shot me a furious look and hightailed it out of there.)

When Religion A-tax

| GA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Popular, Religion

(I’m the night auditor/overnight clerk at a random hotel adjacent to the interstate in Georgia. A potential client comes in around one am.)

Customer: “I’d like to rent a room.”

Me: “I have space available. Tonight’s price is [total] plus state and local tax.”

Customer: “I don’t have to pay tax.”

(Customer presents tax exemption form from Florida, naming a church, which exempts church activities from Florida state taxes.)

Me: “Well, I’m not familiar with Florida tax rules, but this doesn’t exempt Georgia taxes. I can’t waive them with this form.”

Customer: “You’re going to Hell.”

Me: “I’ve been through an audit. Hell sounds better. But if you are here on official business, it’s a simple matter to file for a refund in Georgia. I’m afraid that I can’t waive sales and use tax with these forms.”

Customer: “Thou whited sepulcher.”

Me: “Render unto Caesar.”

Customer: “God is going to smite you!”

Me: “I’ll be glad to rent a room to you, at [total] rate, plus tax. If you won’t pay the taxes, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Customer: “I don’t pay taxes! God’s people don’t pay taxes! If anyone calls for me, forward my calls to [Hotel across the street, which also collects proper taxes.] Good evening!”

Next Customer In Line: “What do you drink? You dealt with that like someone who drinks after work!”

(The next customer checked in, paid for his room and taxes, and came to the lobby an hour later with a six-pack for me.)

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Not Such A Toll Order

| PA, United States | Criminal & Illegal, Money, Popular, Transportation

(I work as a toll collector on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, near the Ohio border. Most people we deal with are friendly enough, but sometimes we get some oddballs.)

Me: “Ticket, please.”

Woman: *talking on phone*

Me: “Excuse me. Ticket, please.”

Woman: *on phone* “One sec.” *to me* “What ticket?”

Me: “The ticket you were given when you entered the turnpike. Unfortunately, because you don’t have your ticket, we need to charge you full price.”

Woman: “That’s bull****! I want to get through! I don’t need to pay you!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need to pay the toll. [Price], please.”

(At this point a line is forming. Someone honks.)

Woman: “You know what? You f****** lowlife! Scum! You’re trying to cheat me! You just want my money! You’re just like the tax collectors in the Bible! ”

(She then proceeded to throw a Starbucks cup at me, then drove off screaming. However, she’ll get charged for it anyway because I wrote her license plate number down.)

If You Don’t Listen You Can Go Swim With The Fishes

, | England, UK | Money, Pets & Animals, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(We decide to have a day at the beach with our children. They are both being so well behaved we decide to go to the Sea Life Centre despite it being known as an expensive attraction.)

Customer: “How much are tickets?”

Cashier: “All prices are on the board to your left, but I can see that there are three of you so that would be £41. However, if you—”

Customer: “What?! That is ridiculous! How can you charge so much?”

Cashier: “Well, we operate a sea life hospital. Part of the ticket price goes to helping injured animals and releasing them back to the wild.”

Customer: “I am not paying that! Come on, we are leaving. What a rip off!”

Me: “Er… four, please.”

Cashier: “Great, thank you, that will be £55. But if you head over to the supermarket they will give you 40% off.”

Me: “Great! Thank you!”

(I dash over to the supermarket and pick up a voucher, I see the family still outside when I return but they are too busy shouting at each other to let me offer them a voucher. We ended up having a great time.)

A Worthless Use Of Time

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Technology, Time

(I run IT services for a small company that assists with management of independent businesses. As the only person in the organization who is highly computer-literate, I also run an email-based helpdesk to answer IT-related questions for clients but have to charge a flat fee for phone support so as to keep the phone from ringing all the time. A known-to-be-difficult business owner pays the fee electronically without even opening an email support ticket first, and then calls in seconds after the payment comes through.)

Me: “Hi, thanks for calling [Company] IT Services. How can I help you?”

Client: “First of all, I think it’s ridiculous that I have to pay just to talk to a live person.”

Me: “I understand your frustration. What can I do for you?”

Client: “I don’t know. I just have some questions about my web presence.”

(We provide basic homepages for our clients so as to boost the profile of their brick-and-mortar locations, with a portal they can use to do things like update their hours, address, and ‘About Me’ on their own.)

Me: “Great, I can definitely help with that. Just to let you know, this sounds like the sort of thing that I could easily handle over email and then could refund your money and not have to charge you anything.”

Client: “No, no. I only want to talk to a real person. I’ll pay the d*** fee. So… umm… uh… let’s see… Can you go look at my About Me page? I don’t know if I like the wording I put on there last year. Can you re-type something for me?”

Me: “Sure, what would you like it changed to?”

Client: “Um… let’s see… can you change [word] to [synonym]. And take out that next sentence. No, on second thought, put that sentence back.” *long pause* “I changed my mind. Can you go back to the first line and put in what I originally had but then add something that makes me sound better, like that says I’m the best in my town?”

Me: “Sir, wouldn’t it be easier if you just emailed me the corrected paragraph when you know what you want it to say?”

Client: “No, your stupid fee is the same whether I have you for one minute or fifty-nine minutes so I’m gonna get my money’s worth. Just hang on. I’m waiting for my inspiration.”

(He proceeds to surf the Internet, even watch some YouTube videos, while keeping me on the line for 20 more minutes listening to him click, mutter to himself, and watch videos.)

Client: “Okay, I got it. I’m going to dictate word for word and I want you to type what I say.”

(I do this; four paragraphs worth across three separate sub-pages of his basic website.)

Client: “Now save it so I can look at it.” *pause while I do this and he refreshes* “Oh, this is much too informal. You just typed what I said without doing your part to make me sound better? What am I paying for? This won’t do. Hold on.”

(A few more minutes of silence pass.)

Client: “All right. Since I’m having to do everything, I don’t know what I’m paying for, but I’m sure gonna get my money’s worth.”

(His basic website is supposed to be self-managed, so he’s clearly not “having to do everything”!)

Client: “So, here goes. Go back to that first page and I’m gonna dictate again. This time we’ll get it just so.”

Me: *after we get to the last page* “Great, your website has been fully updated. We’ve added or revised content on every page and it’s fresh and new. Do you have any other questions?”

Client: “Nope. I still don’t see why I had to pay for this, but I need to get on with my day. Have a good day.”

(He’s taken up 52 minutes on the phone, not counting my time logging all of this in his consulting file. A couple minutes later, he calls back.)

Me: “Hi again. Is there something else I can do for you?”

Client: “Yeah… I was watching something else on YouTube and I want to get it added to my site.” *starts reading off the YouTube URL, not clearly enunciating any of the letters*

Me: “Sir, could you email that to me instead?”

Client: “I don’t like using email since I just want to talk to a real person, but I guess I can email you just this once.”

(I receive the link and embed it in his site and let him look at it.)

Client: “Umm… I guess I just wanted to see what it would look like having a video on my website. I don’t really need it there. Take it off. But I got my money’s worth, didn’t I? You have a good day now.” *hangs up with a chuckle*

(He spent a total of 59 minutes and 40 seconds on the phone. He must have had a timer or something running on his end to “make sure he got his money’s worth.” I ended up working almost an hour late that day trying to catch up on the things I actually needed to be doing in order to keep the company’s computer systems maintained.)

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