Category: Money

It’s A Deal-Breaker

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer comes up to my register with four clearance items.)

Customer: “These were in the clearance bin; the sticker says they used to be $17 but now they’re $9.”

Me: “No problem.” *scans item and discovers they’re actually $4 and used to be $8* “Oh, turns out they’re only $4. They must’ve been labelled incorrectly.”

Customer: “Really? How much were they before?”

Me: “$8.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Never mind, then. $4 off isn’t as good as $8. I thought I was getting a better deal.” *leaves*

Give Him A Dollar Thrill

| TX, USA | Money, Rude & Risque

(I am scanning up the order of a customer, who is rather elderly, and we are at the end when this happens:)

Customer: “For that $100 cash back, I don’t want a $100 bill.”

Me: *jokingly* “Okay, I’ll give you 100 ones.”

Customer: “Oh, no! That’s even worse. A man like me doesn’t need THAT much money. I’m too old to go to the strip clubs!”

Give Him Free P&P For A Brain

| UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(A couple of customers walk into the store:)

Customer #1: “Hey, they have that Star Wars Expansion you want but is never available on-line!”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Customer #1: “Same price.”

(The second looks thoughtful for a moment…)

Customer #2: “Yeah, but it’s free P&P on-line…”

(He didn’t buy it.)

A Taxing Customer

| Nashville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(Tennessee doesn’t have a state income tax, so sales tax is pretty high. Out-of-town visitors are often surprised at this. I witnessed this conversation between my coworker and two customers while I was at the next register.)

Coworker: “Your total is [amount]. You can swipe your card through the pad.”

Customer: “Wait, how much is that? Has it gone up?”

Coworker: “It’s [price]. We did have a little price increase at the beginning of the year.”

Customer’s Husband: “But that’s still not right. If it’s [price], then why is the total [amount]?”

Coworker: “Oh, that’s with tax!”

Customer: “What?! Why is the tax so high?”

Coworker: “Um… that’s the tax in this county in Tennessee.”

Customer’s Husband: “But WHY is the tax so high?”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “You can swipe your card through the pad there, sir.”

(They left still muttering about why the tax is so high. I almost told them that a neighboring county’s tax is .25% higher even than here. The kicker: when the customer gave her phone number for the rewards program, her area code indicated that she LIVED in the same town. She must freak out about the tax three times a day!)

Glossing Over The Details

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a large chain retail store, and my location happens to have a small photo kiosk in it. I notice a customer who seems to be having some difficulty with his prints.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “I just can’t seem to figure out how to get the pictures to print on matte paper… I can’t find the option to change it from glossy.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We actually only carry glossy paper.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I need it on matte. How do I get it to print matte?”

Me: “We can’t. We don’t carry matte; our only option is glossy.”

Customer: “But I’m a professional photographer, and my customers requested matte paper. I can’t give them glossy. It just looks unprofessional. So, how can I fix this?”

Me: “I can try to look up other printers in the area for you, but unfortunately we won’t be able to do that for you. We only have glossy paper.”

Customer: “Well, fine! In that case, I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

(He picks up his prints and starts towards the door.)

Me: “Sir, you haven’t paid for those yet.”

Customer: “But they didn’t come out right. I’m not paying for them.”

Me: “If you take them, I have to charge you for them. Otherwise, we can dispose of them.”

Customer: “No! I’m a professional photographer, I can’t risk someone stealing them out of your trash and using them for their own profit!”

Me: “We can shred them for you.”

Customer: “But if you’re just going to throw them away anyway. Why can’t I just take them?”

(I finally convince the customer he has to pay for the prints before he can take them, and he leaves, still grumbling about how they’re defective because they’re not on matte paper.)

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