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Category: Money

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 60

| West Hartford, CT, USA | Money

(I work for an insurance company, and it is my job to meet with people to assess their life insurance needs. In order to do that we have to find out some background information about their personal financial situation. Today, I am at one potential client’s house doing just that.)

Me: “So now that we’re on the topic of debt, do you have any debt to speak of?”

Client: “Well, I have my mortgage, so that’s 350,000, and I have my car loan and student loans, so together that’s probably another 50,000.”

Me: “Is that all the debt you have?”

Client: “Yes. Well, besides my credit card debt and some I owe to the government.”

Me: “Oh, how much do you have in credit card debt?”

Client: “Well, between my husband and me, about 340,000 in credit card debt. But we don’t worry about that because we don’t pay the credit card companies any more.”

Me: *pausing to think of some way of explaining that you have to pay debt or risk going bankrupt* “So, you mean to tell me that you owe credit card companies over 300,000 dollars and you aren’t paying them anything?”

Client: “That’s what I just told you.”

Me: “Well, you can’t just not pay your debts. If you absolutely can’t, you can go bankrupt, but that will ruin your credit, and you won’t be able to buy that boat you were talking about buying, or finance any other major expense.”

Client: *completely irate* “HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO! GO BACK TO YOUR HOLE, YOU… YOU… YOU GARGOYLE!”

Me: *taken aback by being called a gargoyle, but keeping my cool* “I think we might be done here. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Client: “I’M GONNA CALL THE COPS!”

Me: “Goodbye, ma’am.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57

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The Story Isn’t Worthy Of The Magazine

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a large supermarket chain which releases a new free magazine for customers each month which includes recipes as well as information about new products we sell and promotions we are running. The magazines are very popular and as each store only gets a certain amount, and there is no limit to how many a customer can take, it’s not uncommon for us to run out before the month is over. This takes place the day the new magazine has come out.)

Customer #1: “I love these magazines! Would it be all right if I took three?”

Me: “You can have as many as you would like!”

Customer #1: “Awesome!” *jokingly* “I like to sell them on the black market!”

Me: *jokingly* “The trick is to wait until we run out, then you’ll make a killing!

(After Customer #1 has left, Customer #2 puts at least ten of the magazines in his bag.)

Customer #2: “I can’t believe idiots pay money for these! I can’t wait to make millions!”

Me: *laughs as I think he’s joking*

Customer #2: “I bet I can get at least $50 per magazine!”

(Out of morbid curiosity I later checked online. It turned out he tried to sell a free magazine online and got no bids. Clearly he thought free magazines would be a hot selling item at $50 plus $10 shipping each.)

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Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A customer comes into the store and comments her bills are higher than they should be. She has looked at her bill and it’s saying she’s calling people she doesn’t know. I sit the customer down and log into her account.)

Customer: “I’ve just seen my bill and it’s £50.”

Me: “The last abnormally high bill you had was three months ago.”

Customer: “No it says it’s £50; I looked before I came in.”

Me: “Do you mind showing me how you are viewing your bill?”

Customer: “No problem.”

(She starts by clicking the link in her text to view her bill, and then proceeds to click on the link to use the app. Once in the app store she then showed me where it showed me her bill and the random people she had called. Turns out she had been viewing the example photos of how the app worked.)

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59

| Ashland, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “So I want to do $40 cash, and the rest on my debit card.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(I put the cash through, same as any other order, and then…)

Me: “Okay, go ahead and slide your card now.”

Customer: “But I left it at home.”

Me: *stunned* “You left it at home?”

Customer: “Yeah… Wait, you mean I need to bring the card with me to use it?”

Me: *speechless*

(Thankfully, a manager nearby overheard the exchange and jumped in…)

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, you need to bring your card. We can’t use a debit card that you don’t have.”

Customer: “But I have a debit card! Are you telling me I can’t use my card? Why can’t I use it?!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to come back with your card.”

Customer: “But I have a card!”

(This went on for a good minute or so. The manager ultimately wound up voiding out the second half of the order, telling the customer to come back *with her card* to pay for it. Afterward:)

Customer: “Make sure you don’t put that stuff away! I’ll be back! *leaves*

Next Customer: *shakes her head*

Me: *still speechless*

Bagger: “So… how much you want to bet she doesn’t come back?”

(She didn’t come back. That second half of the order? Mostly frozen food.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

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Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 3

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Caller: “I need to place an order for a 10′ truck.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am! Can I start with your phone number?”

Caller: “My WHAT?”

Me: “Your phone number, ma’am?”

Caller: “Why do you need my phone number?”

Me: “I’m building a customer profile for you, so we can contact you with your rental information later.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t want one. Just reserve a truck for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t finish making a reservation if I don’t have a name and phone number to put on it.”

Caller: “So now you want my name, too? I’m not letting you data-farm me!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t data-farming you. We just need to know who’s renting the truck.”

Caller: “Just put me down as ‘Jane Doe.’”

Me: “Okay… I still need a phone number.”

Caller: “Again? Fine, just put [phone number].”

Me: “All right, thank you, ma’am. We’ll just skip the email address for now…” *clicks buttons*

Caller: “What, and now you want my email? I thought this was a rental company?”

Me: “I don’t need your email address; it’s an optional step for people who want us to email them their order information.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not giving it to you. I don’t want my inbox to get spammed with junkmail.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. So will you be using this rental in the [Township] area?”

Caller: “How do you know I’m from [Township]?!”

Me: “Well, that’s the center you called, so I assumed that’s where you want to—”

Caller: “Are you tracing my call? If you knew that, then why did you ask for my name?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called a [Township] [Rental Company] dealer. No one is tracing your call.”

Caller: “How do I know you’re not tracking me right now? Can you tell where I am?”

Me: “I can’t, ma’am… I have no idea where you are.”

Caller: “Good. Keep it that way.”

Me: “So, do you need it for the [Township] area?”

Caller: “Where I go with my rental is my business. All YOU need to know is that I’m picking it up at your center at 10:00 am tomorrow and I’m dropping it off before you close. ”

Me: “Okay, got it. Let me see what’s available…” *skips a few forms to get to the truck list* “All right, I see a 10′ truck here, but it won’t be available until tomorrow afternoon. Is that still okay?”

Caller: “No, you’re not listening. I said I need it tomorrow at 10:00 am.”

Me: “I understand that ma’am, but our 10′ trucks are booked all morning. Would you like me to check other nearby centers to see if there are more available?”

Caller: “No, you’re still not listening. I need it at YOUR center at 10:00 am. I didn’t call a different center because I don’t want it at their center. I need it from THIS center, and I need it at 10:00 am.”

Me: “Well, in that case, would you consider an alternate truck size? I see here that the 15′ truck would be available in your time frame.”

Caller: “NO. I DO NOT WANT A 15′ TRUCK. Stop trying to up-sell me and give me the truck I asked for.”

Me: “I’m trying to ma’am, but I’m telling you it’s booked for tomorrow morning. Someone else will have it.”

Caller: “Then what’s the point of calling ahead?”

Me: “Ah… you called the night before. That’s still very short notice.”

Caller: “So how far in advance am I supposed to call?”

Me: “Well, first of all, the weekends are very busy, and you’re calling on a Friday night to pick up a truck on Saturday. If you want a better shot at getting a truck you should try reserving a week or two in advance and set it up on a weekday. I know Tuesdays tend to be very slow—”

Caller: “Well, I didn’t know I would need a truck a week ago, and I have to work during the week.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and that’s typically the case for everyone.”

Caller: “So instead of giving me what I ask for, all you can do is make excuses.”

Me: *slightly agitated* “Ma’am, I am doing the best I can for you. You’re telling me what you want, and I’m telling you what we have. What I have is a 15′ truck that you can pick up tomorrow at 10:00 am and keep all day. Frankly, I’m shocked I can offer that deal on such short notice. If that doesn’t work for you, then I’m afraid you’ll have to alter your plans a little bit to fit the situation.”

Caller: “Fine, whatever. I’ll take that one. I’m tired of hearing you b**** and moan.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “All right, ma’am, I have the 15′ truck scheduled to pick up at 10:00 am. The price will be $29.95 plus $0.79 per mile and a $1 environmental fee.” *a feeling of dread creeps in* “Which credit card would you like to use to confirm this reservation?”

Caller: “NOW, HOLD ON! First you want my personal information, and now you want my CREDIT CARD?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t going to charge it. We just need it to—”

Caller: “THE H*** YOU AREN’T! After all this trouble you’re giving me, now you’re trying to hack my bank account? If you think I’m giving you something as valuable as that over the phone, then you’re crazy. I’ll pay in cash.”

Me: “I understand, but I can’t put a hold on the equipment without a card number.”

Caller: “So now you’re blackmailing me? You’re going to hold my rental hostage until I give you what you want? GO F*** YOURSELF!” *hangs up*

Related:
Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 2
Doesn’t Give A Truck

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