Category: Money

Death Of A Sale

| SW, USA | Money

(I do customer service and sales for a floral company. A man calls on a Saturday afternoon, to send flowers to a nine am Sunday funeral.)

Me: “May I have the ZIP code of the funeral home?”

Customer: “Ummm… I’m not sure. I don’t have that information.”

Me: “Not a problem; I can look up the obituary. May I have the name of the person that passed away?”

Customer: “I think it’s [Name]. Or something like that. I’m not sure of the correct spelling.”

Me: *thinking, why are you ordering flowers for someone whose name you don’t even know?* “Very good, sir. Let me look up the obituary.”

(The entire time I’m trying to find the obituary, he’s complaining about how difficult the ordering process is, how I’m going too slowly, and basically acting like it is a terrible hardship for him to even be doing this. I finally find the obituary and get the service time.)

Me: “I’ve got the information, sir; which arrangement would you like?”

Customer: “I was thinking of one of those floor baskets. How much are those?”

Me: “Our floor baskets start at $79.99.”

Customer: “What?! Why are they so expensive?”

Me: “Well, sir, they’re not like table-top bouquets. Floor baskets use more flowers and bigger containers.”

Customer: “Oh, my God; that’s way too expensive! Why is this process so hard?” *persecuted sigh* “Do you have any floor baskets that are smaller than that?”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but a floor basket for a funeral starts at $79.99.”

Customer: “Oh, my God; I’m gonna have to think about this. That’s too much. Is there any way you can give me a discount? Say, half off? I’ll be sending lots of business your way if we can work this out.”

Me: “I am sorry, but the biggest discount I could do would be removing the service fee. Also, for a Sunday delivery, there is an additional charge.”

Customer: “I… I can’t do that much. I’ll call you back; I’ll have to think about this.”

Me: “I understand, sir. Was there anything else I can check for you right now?”

Customer: “No, no, sorry. Thanks anyway.” *hangs up*

Trying To Go Above Her Stations

, | SD, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(I work in sales in a call center for a cable company. We are converting cable channels to digital format, so customers that don’t have equipment are losing their signal. A customer calls tech support because a lot of her channels stop working, and the tech support rep transfers the call to me. All she is paying for is basically local stations, but before she is getting the entire expanded basic lineup that was apparently leaking through. She wants to get her channels back, therefore the following conversation ensues.)

Me: “This is [My Name] from sales. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not getting my stations anymore.”

Me: “Okay, to assist, what channels were you looking for?”

Customer: *names stations in higher package*

Me: “Okay, so it looks like those stations are in [X package]. Right now, you are paying for [Y package]. To upgrade, you’re looking at about $40 more per month.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want to pay for that. I just want my stations back.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, in order to get those channels, you will need [X package].”

Customer: “Why can’t you just give me my stations back?”

Me: “Since you are only paying for [Y package], you will only get those channels from now on. I apologize about any confusion. If you would like to upgrade to [X package] and get the channels included, the price is [price]. We can go ahead and upgrade you now and get that back for you. Also, we won’t even back-charge you for the free cable you have been getting for the last three years.”

Customer: “You guys are crooks.” *hangs up*

Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 3

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Money

(I call a customer to collect payment for finished tax return.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], I’m just calling to let you know your tax return is complete and you have a balance of [balance]. Once we collect this amount we will send you your return.”

Customer: “Uh, so I have to pay before you will send me my return?”

Me: “Yes, it is required that we collect payment before sending you the return.”

Customer: “Why? That seems weird. Why can’t you send me my tax return then let me pay you?”

Me: “Uh, because we would risk the chance of customers getting their tax returns and never paying us and the firm would go under…”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll pay… That is just so weird.”

Related:

Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

Too Taxing For Them To Understand

Giving You His Two Cents… Twice

| USA | Home Improvement, Money

(I am working outside in the garden area. An older gentleman walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today, sir? How may I help you?”

Customer: *a bit harshly* “I want two of those bags of cheap soil out there. They’re $1.57.”

Me: “The topsoil, sir? The white and brown one?”

Customer: *even more harsh* “Yes. I want two. They’re $1.57.”

Me: *cheerily* “Actually, sir, that sale is $1.55 a bag! You save four pennies!”

Customer: “No. I have purchased some before and they were ONE DOLLAR, FIFTY SEVEN CENTS.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Perhaps that was a different sale? Or perhaps you had been misinformed? You’ll be saving four pennies today…”

(He continued to argue while I gently kept trying to tell him that he was saving money. Eventually he threw his card at me, paid, and left. Perhaps I should have just let him overpay?)

The Price Very Gradually Goes Down

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I’m the clueless customer, and have had a long day at work myself. I am dealing with “Teenitude” from my loving offspring and purchasing Teacher Appreciation gifts for said offspring’s teachers, so I am feeling VERY overwhelmed. A WONDERFUL associate has helped offspring and me pick out and find matching scents for sets.)

Cashier: “WOW! That’s a lot of sanitizer and lotion.”

Me: “Oh, just a few gifts for the teachers and staff at [Offspring’s School]. It’s Teacher Appreciation Week next week.” *smiles*

Cashier: “That is so nice of you. Looks like you have more than enough to qualify for some current discounts and specials. Do we send you e-mails?”

Me: “Yes, I get them all the time.” *still smiling*

Cashier: “Do you have your smart-phone with you?”

Me: “Yes.” *still smiling but not moving*

Cashier: *looking at me expectantly* “Can you pull up one of our emails?”

Me: “Uh… sure.” *confused*

Cashier: *sees [Company] email header, types a bit on her register* “Okay, great! Your total is [$50 less than original amount].”

Me: “Oh, my god!” *realization finally dawning on me* “Thank you!”

(Having in the past worked for another branch of the parent company I SHOULD have known in order to receive the discounts, she HAD to see at least one of the email offers. Thank you, super-helpful associates, for being so kind, understanding and walking me through my blonde moment without making me feel like a complete idiot. I referred her to Not Always Right.)

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