Category: Money


Strike And You’re Out

| Italy | Liars & Scammers, Money, Popular

(We have a regular that always asks us to over-mark the amount of fuel he does on the expense sheet, which is illegal, but we comply because he always says “I did 20 yesterday evening on the self service” and we don’t want to delay other customers because he would make a scene. Today, however, it’s different.)

Regular: “Can you do [amount] and mark [higher amount] on the expense sheet? I came by yesterday evening and did 20€.”

Me: “Really? You came and did 20€ yesterday evening?”

Regular: “Yes…”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can mark that.”

Regular: “Why?”

Me: “We were completely closed for the national strike yesterday. No self service; nothing at all.”

(The look on the regular’s face was priceless.)


Hexed The Decimal

| Foley, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money, Popular

(A woman approaches my counter to purchase a washer. I ring her up with no problems, until we reach the very end.)

Woman: “Hey, did you take off my 10% discount? This is on sale.”

(I’m somewhat baffled, as this is the first time she’s mentioned a discount, but I look anyway.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The computer does it automatically.”

Woman: “Okay.”

(The customer then pays with a gift card, three credit cards, and $50 in cash. I finish the transaction and send her on her way. Ten minutes later, an angry gentleman approaches my counter.)

Man: “Hey, girl! You ripped my wife off! There’s no way this cost that much!”

Me: “Sir, I’ll happily look, though I’m fairly sure this is correct.”

Man: “No! It isn’t! You didn’t take off my discount.”

Me: “Okay. Do you want me to break this down, so you can see?”

Man: “Yeah, if you CAN. You cashiers use the computer so much that I doubt you’re capable of basic math!”

(I’m annoyed, but instead of remarking on it, I write down the original price of the item on a piece of paper and, by hand, multiply it by 0.9. )

Man: “Wait! Why are you doing that? It’s a ten-percent discount!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Which means you’re still paying 90%, right?”

Man: “Duh! I’m not stupid! But you multiplied that by a decimal! Not a percent!”

Me: “Well, sir, they’re the same thing. 90% is the same as 0.9.”

Man: “No, it isn’t! God, why does [Store] hire such stupid people?”

Me: “Sir, if you let me finish, I assure you that we’ll know if this receipt is correct.”

(The customer huffs but says nothing. I calculate out the rest of his purchase, with tax, and subtract his payment methods. My result is exactly the same as the one on his receipt.)

Me: “See, sir? I assure you it’s correct.”

Man: “No! I don’t think you know what you’re doing! That math is just insane! I want to speak to a manager!”

(To my surprise, my manager doesn’t understand it either, so I have to repeat myself to him. The customer still claims we’ve cheated him.)

Me: “Sir, I assure you that this is correct.”

Man: “Well, it’s clearly not, if your manager can’t figure it out!”

New Customer: “For God’s sake, I’m a math professor! Let me look at this!”

(The new customer comes around and looks at it.)

New Customer: *to Man* “Well, sir, I regret to inform you that this ‘stupid cashier’ is absolutely correct. If there’s something wrong with the math, it’s definitely yours.”

Man: “Well, I… well, she didn’t explain it right!”


Seriously Needs Some Change

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(A group of five friends come up to the stand to buy pretzels. We have a deal going on: buy three pretzels get the fourth for free.)

Customer #1: “We need FIVE pretzels.”

Me: “All right. You’re going to be getting one of those for free today, so your total is going to be $12.36!”

Customer #1: *hands me their card, gets declined*

Me: “Oh! Your card was declined.” *inspects card a bit more to find that it’s a gift card that says $24 on it written in sharpie*

Customer #1: “Well, I just used it in a store five minutes ago, so it should be working. Scan it again!”

Me: “How much did you spend at the store?”

Customer #1: “Uhm. Like $14.”

Me: “The card has $24 , so since you spent $14, you only have $10 and the order is $12.36.”

Customer #1: “Um, okay.” *to Customer #2* “Gimme $2!”

Customer #2: *slowly digs through purse to find a wad of singles; [Customer #1] snatches $2*

Customer #1: *to Customer #3* “Gimme $0.36!”

Customer #3: *dumps out change purse on counter and counts out $0.36 in pennies*

Me: “Thank you… Now I just need to rescan your card to get the $10 since it declined it the first time!”

Customer #1: *hands me a $20*

(I and all the other customers just stared at her in disbelief.)


Needs To Alter Their Perceptions Of Pricing

| TN, USA | Money, Popular

(I work in alterations at a bridal salon. A teen girl is with her parents buying a dress for Homecoming Court which is in about two weeks. Since this is pushing the normal timeframe for alterations, the consultant has grabbed me to look at the dress and let the customer know if we can do the very minor alterations in time. After I say we can, I have the following exchange with the girl’s father.)

Customer: “So are the alterations included in the price of the dress?”

Me: “No, but taking up the shoulders on this dress will only be about $23.”

Customer: “So, will you guys discount the dress to offset the cost of the alterations?”

Me: “…No.”


No Pay, No Port

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular, Technology

(I work for a small wireless company. A caller is trying to port her numbers over to a competitor. Her account with us was suspended due to non-payment, about $1400 past due, and she hasn’t paid anything in four months. Once an account is suspended, there’s no way we can port a number over unless we get a payment.)

Customer: “You people always put in your port orders a day after I call. One number came through, but the others didn’t!”

Me: “That happened because your account was suspended on that day when the other numbers were ordered to be ported. It was a four-hour difference between being suspended and went the port request was made.”

Customer: “Well, if your dumb port department would do their jobs and put the request in the day I called, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

(She goes on 20-minute tangents and doesn’t allow me to get any words in for the most part. One of the leaders comes by and sees me struggling, so she gets a cord and plugs in on the call to help me.)

Me: “Ma’am, the simple fact of the matter is there is no way we can port these numbers over unless we get a payment. I see you did talk to the financial department earlier, and they agreed to take $650 to get your services resumed. That is the amount we need today to do this process.”

Customer: “NO! I know there is a way you can turn on my account for two minutes, get those numbers over, and suspend it again. All you people want is your money, and I’m not paying for something I’m not using. I want to speak to a supervisor!”

(I put her on hold and the leader who plugged in with me takes over. By now, the call has lasted about 45 minutes. I stay and listen.)

Leader: “Hello, ma’am? I am a supervisor; the previous associate you talked with told me what’s going on with your porting issues.”

Customer: “Yes, all I want to do is get those numbers over. I refuse to pay anything. Why should I pay for something that I own? Those are MY numbers.”

Leader: “I hear what you’re saying, ma’am, and we do want to get this issue resolved today. Your only option to get those numbers over is to make that payment. I cannot resume service for two minutes because it’s all done automatically. The system will only resume your service when that payment is made. We cannot hack it…”

Customer: “YES, YOU CAN! How difficult is it to do something so simple. Call your IT guys, tell them to turn me on for two minutes, and get those numbers over!”

Leader: “Ma’am, that’s illegal. The IT department cannot go into people’s accounts because they don’t have that authority; they fix the computers or the system if it has problems.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not paying anything.”

Leader: “And that’s totally up to you. You don’t pay, you don’t get your numbers, because they are our property. You haven’t paid us anything in four months. We do not make exceptions when someone is severely past due. If you choose not to pay, you will be sent to collections and have to deal with them harassing you for the money, which is 10 times worse than anything we do. I have told you repeatedly what your only option is, and you are not listening. At this point you will have to get new numbers with [Competitor].”

(The leader promptly hung up on her since they have that ability. In all her years there, this is the third person she’s disconnected with. The call came through at 8:45 and didn’t end til 10:30. Customer would not let us talk at all. Let’s just say I’m looking for something else already…)

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