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Category: Money

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Customer

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(This all takes place over the phone.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to know how much the Montblanc rollerball and ballpoint pens are?”

Me: “Okay, which ones?”

Customer: “There are only two kinds, rollerball and ballpoint.”

Me: “Right, I understood that, but we also carry fountain pens. I meant which specific design?”

Customer: “The black ones.”

Me: “Sir, they’re all black.”

Customer: “Oh. The nice ones then.”

Me: *face-palming, because they’re ALL expensive nice pens* “One moment.”

Me: “Okay, the Classique ballpoint is $575 and the Classique rollerball is $595.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: *sighs inwardly* “Yes, sir, I am holding them in front of me right now.”

Customer: “Oh. Do you have other brands that would be $200 or less?”

Me: *glances at the hundreds of pens in the case* “Yes, sir, but there are literally hundreds of pens.”

Customer: “Well, what do they look like?”

Me: “Sir, like I said, there are literally hundreds of pens. You’d need to come into the store to narrow it down.”

Customer: “Oh.” *click*

Not Interested In Redemption

| Corner Brook, NL, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(The store I work in gives out $5 coupons when the customer spends $50+ for two weeks, and then the next week they can redeem it. It was the week of redemption.)

Me: “Your total is [over $50].”

Customer: “So I get a coupon.”

Me: “Well, actually this is the redemption period. Do you have a coupon I can redeem?”

Customer: “No, you need to give me one. I spent over $50; I earned one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we spend two weeks handing them out then a third redeeming them. We don’t hand any more out past the two weeks.”

Customer: “I can see them on your desk! Give me one!”

Me: “We keep those to see how many people are redeeming them. I can’t give you one.”

Customer: “Just give me the f***ing coupon! I earned it.”

(This goes on for a few minutes. It’s a busy season so there’s about 10 people waiting, and since the store is so small, that makes the store pretty full.)

Me: “How about I just give you $5 off instead so you get the discount?”

(She turns to my coworker.)

Customer: “Wow, some f***ing b****es just need to get a hold of their hormones.”

(Coworker says nothing so she leaves. Later I find out she reported me, to which my manager told her I was right.)

Their Financial Advice Is Handicapped

| St Andrews, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Money

(At our golf shop, we get one-off requests all the time. I occasionally get smart remarks about how we’re missing a trick because no one else is selling whatever it is, but generally they give up and go elsewhere pretty quickly. Today, I had a guy with a very specific request…)

Customer: “Hi There! Do you sell headcovers for Vokey wedges?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We only have the matching headcovers for the clubs we sell.”

Customer: “Do you know what I mean by a Vokey wedge?”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m not a golfer, but I do know that we don’t sell them.”

Customer: *proceeds to tell me what this particular golf club is* “…You should get some neoprene and a little bit of soft sock and make some. You could sell them for £10 and make a fortune.”

Me: *at this point I probably have quite a stunned and bemused look on my face* “Oh, right. Well you’re the first person in seven years of working here to ever ask for one.”

Customer: “I’m telling you, you’d make loads selling them online.”

(At this point, he could see I wasn’t about to take him up on his offer and manufacture one on the spot for him.)

Customer: “I had to make my last one myself.” *on that note, he leaves*

(Now I’m not a business wiz, nor an expert in manufacturing, but if it’s such a lucrative opportunity, I was left wondering why he doesn’t take his own advice and make his ‘fortune’.)