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Category: Money

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This Conversation Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money, Popular

(My family is eating at a large restaurant. My dad is talking to my mom about an unrelated school activity that he didn’t know has fees involved. As this happens, the waitress comes with the bill.)

Dad: “I didn’t know we had to pay for it!”

Waitress: “Umm…”

Dad: “Oh, sorry, not that. I was talking about [school related activity].”

Waitress: “Thanks! You’d be surprised how many people don’t think they have to pay.”

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Trained To Avoid Their Baggage

| UK | At The Checkout, Money, Spouses & Partners

(I’m working on the till and a customer approaches with a birthday card. As in all large stores in England, we have to charge 5p for carrier bags. We’ve been receiving plenty of grief from customers who seem think the charge is up to the cashier, but this one was especially irate.)

Me: “That’ll be £3, please.”

Customer: *gives me a shocked/disgusted look, despite the price being clearly on the back of the card* “Why should I have to pay £3 for this card? Why, just because it’s got [Company] on the back? Why should I have to pay that?”

Me: *deciding to assume it’s a rhetorical question* “Do you need a 5p bag?”

Customer: “A 5p bag? A 5P BAG? I’m paying £3 for a card and now you want to charge me 5p for a bag?”

Me: “Okay, just the card, then. That’ll be £3.”

Customer: *calls her husband over* “Look at this. I have to pay £3 for this card and now she wants me to pay 5p for a bag. RIDICULOUS.”

Husband: “RIDICULOUS.”

(I think they might have actually both malfunctioned at this point.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you want us to pay 5p for bags when you charged me this much for a card.”

Me: “Here’s your change. Thank you. Goodbye!”

Customer: *storms off* “RIDICULOUS.”

Husband: *follows obediently behind his wife* “RIDICULOUS.”

It Doesn’t Take A Brain Surgeon

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Popular, Technology

(I am a slot technician at a casino, and a patron is having trouble cashing out of a slot machine. This is back when the only way to cash out was to get coins, and many patrons still used coins to play rather than bills. There is a button you push on the front of the machine to cash out, but it isn’t working.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what seems to be the problem?”

Patron: “Your machine is broken! I just want my d*** money but it won’t cash me out.”

(I ask him to hit the cashout button for me. We’re not allowed to hit any buttons while a patron has money in the machine. He does and it doesn’t work.)

Patron: “See?!”

(He mashes the button repeatedly in anger.)

Patron: “I want my d*** money!”

(At this point I look at the state of the machine and realize that it’s in the middle of a bet… He has already bet a credit and the machine is just waiting to spin. There is no way to get the money out until the spin is done. I begin to explain this to him.)

Patron: “That’s bull-s***! I DID NOT bet a credit. Why the hell would I do that when I want to go home!”

Me: “I don’t know, sir, but the machine does have a credit bet. If you could just hit the spin button…”

Patron: *yelling* “I did not bet a credit! I’m not going to spend any more of my money in your machine! You’re just trying to get more money out of me!”

Me: “Sir, if there are no credits bet, hitting spin won’t do anything. If you’re correct, nothing will happen. If I’m right, the machine will spin and you’ll be able to cash out.”

Patron: “I’m telling you that I did not bet a credit!”

Me: “Perhaps your hand slipped when you were hitting the cash out button, sir, and you accidently…”

Patron: *furious now* “Son, I’m a surgeon. My hands don’t slip. I take people’s lives in my hands every single day, and if my hands were prone to slipping those people could be dead! I want you to cash me out, NOW!”

(At this point the man’s wife, who had been sitting down next to us in silence the entire time, reached over and quietly hit the ‘spin’ button. As I expected, the machine bean to spin the reels. They landed on a small to credit win and the cash out button lit up. He lowered his gaze and slowly hit the cash out button. Of course, the coins began to drop in the tray. I flashed a small smile to the wife, who subtly rolled her eyes and looked apologetic. The surgeon, defeated, took his coins and slowly walked away without a word.)

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Got To Give Him Some Credit For Trying

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(I work in a call center for the largest cell phone provider in the US. A man calls in about overages on his bill, telling me a long story about how his ex-wife took his daughter and the phones and his daughter used all the data because she doesn’t understand. After some research, I can see that he has called in so many times about this charge that the system stopped recording notes. I offer him the same thing every previous agent has offered him, to waive half the charges, which would take nearly $75 off his bill.)

Customer: “That is ridiculous! What would it take to cancel all of my services?!”

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like all six of your lines are still under contract, which means they would all have early termination fees that would total out to…. $1,378.46.”

Customer: “And how would that be charged?”

Me: “It would be added to your current balance and presented to you in your final bill from [Cell Phone Provider].”

Customer: “Okay…”

Me: “The total of the final bill, including your current balance would be $1,994.76, sir.”

Customer: “And I could choose to pay that or not?”

Me: “Uh, any bill that you don’t pay will be sent to a collection agency, sir.”

Customer: “Well, she already ruined my credit anyway, so what does it matter?!”

Me: “…I can’t advise you to not pay your bill to [Cell Phone Provider], sir.”

(The customer eventually had me give him the originally offered credit, obviously intending to cancel on another call.)

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An Extra Order Of English Muffins

| IA, USA | Language & Words, Money, Popular

(My senior year of high school, I worked in a very small diner in a very small town. I make a bet with my manager that I can convince a table that I am from England. One Saturday morning, he seats an elderly couple and tells me that it was their first time in the restaurant. I took this as my cue.)

Me: *in a very thick, fake English accent* “Good morning! May I get you something to drink?”

Customer #1: “Are you English?!”

Me: *laughs* “Yes. My father moved here a few years ago and I’m visiting him for a few months.”

Customer #2: “Poor girl. Came all the way across the ocean just to work in a diner. We’ll have coffee, dear.”

Me: “All right. I’ll have that right out to you.”

(I get them their drinks and take their order when another table walks in and sits directly behind them. I go up and get their drink order in my normal voice, knowing that the other table can hear me. Throughout their stay, I alternate accents. The second table, after I explain to them what I am doing, laugh and wish me luck. During their meal, they ask me all sorts of questions such as where I came from, what it’s like in the United Kingdom, and such. Having never actually BEEN there, I went off what little knowledge I actually had to answer their questions.)

Customer #1: *to my manager on their way out* “You treat her nice now! She came all the way from England!”

Customer #2: *hands me $20* “Enjoy your stay here, young lady.”

(After they leave.)

Manager: “What just happened?”

Me: “I do believe I just won that bet, sir.”

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