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Category: Money

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Unfair Welfare

, | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “…and your total is $[total].”

Customer: *holds up her SNAP (food stamps) card* “I’m paying with this. Can I get cash back on it?”

Me: “We only do cash back on Discover cards. Sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why?! Everyone just wants to take, take, take my money! Take, take, take! No one is ever willing to give anything!”

(I was so stunned I couldn’t even manage to make a comment on the irony of her comment while holding a SNAP card.)

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Showing Signs Of Understanding

| Romford, Essex, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(We are a market stall that sells perfumes and cosmetics. We love all of our customers, but a lot of our customers are either bad at math or speak without thinking. We sell a range of smell-like famous brand perfumes, which we sell for £3 each. I see a customer looking at our signs.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer #1: “These perfumes are £3 each, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer #1: “You have a sign up that says 3 for £9. That’s dumb as the customer doesn’t save anything buying three! You should remove the sign!”

Me: “I know but the usual going rate is £3.99 or 3 for £10, and some customers ask for 3 for £10!”

Customer #1: “Riiight… Okay, I know; I used to work on markets.”

(At that moment another customer approaches.)

Customer #2: “Hey, they are £3 each right?”

Me: “Yes!”

Customer #2: “So, if I buy three can I have them for £10?”

Customer #1: “…”

Me: *to Customer #2* “You can have them for £9!”

Customer #1: “You’re right; the sign should stay!”

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Getting Loony Over A Loonie, Part 2

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(I ring a customer’s transaction and everything is going well…)

Me: “Your total comes to $11.02.”

(She hands me $20.02.)

Me: “Oh, it’ll round down.”

(I give her back the two pennies and her $9.00 in change.)

Customer: “Oh, I want a straight $10 bill.”

Me: “You have to give me a dollar for that.”

(She tries to give me a loonie from the change I gave her.)

Me: “I gave you your change, so for you to get the $10 bill you have to give me $10 in change.”

Customer: “I want the $10 bill.”

(She tries to give me the $5 in addition to the loonie.)

Me: “No, I gave you your change.” *points to receipt* “You gave me a $20 for an $11 purchase. The change would be $9.”

(She motions to the loonie.)

Customer: “That is why I give you this. I want $10 bill.”

(This exchange went on for about five minutes before she got fed up and called me stupid.)

Related:
Getting Loony Over A Loonie

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Using Old Jokes Are No Joke

| Burlington, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I am so sick and tired of fake laughing at this same joke. This time I play stupid. I am using a machine to check some bills for authenticity.)

Customer: “Are they good? I just made them this morning!”

Me: *stern, serious look on my face* “You printed these bills yourself?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I… Hehe, it was a joke.”

Me: “You realize printing counterfeit bills is a very serious felony? You could go to jail for 14 years.”

Customer: “Yes, I, uh… but they’re good, right? I was kidding.”

Me: “You’re lucky my machine isn’t showing any signs that they are counterfeit. But you should be more careful next time; it’s not something to joke about.”

(The customer nodded gravely, and left with his purchase and change. I don’t think I’ll be hearing that joke from him again!)

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Trying To Make Cents Of His Math

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work as a pizza delivery man and have just knocked on the customer’s door.)

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Good evening! Your total will be $25.90.”

(I exchange the pizzas for two $20s.)

Customer: “Just give me $15 back.”

(Thinking he was going to use the ones or a five as a tip I hand him the $15 he requested back only to have the door closing on my face.)

Me: “Excuse me, you still owe $0.90!”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, sir, you gave me $40 on a $25.90 order and asked for $15 back. I assumed you had change to give me since you would still owe the $0.90.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry, here take a dollar and keep the change.”

Me: *completely fake smile on my face* “Thanks. Have a great evening.”

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