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Category: Money

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Make No Concessions For The Price

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m working concession. A woman in a very expensive designer sweat-suit, and what appears to be expensive jewelry, walks up to me.)

Customer: “Small popcorn and a water, please.”

Me: “Sure thing. That’ll be $10.50.”

(She pauses and begins laughing wildly without breaking eye contact. After seeing that I’m confused, she stops.)

Customer: *suddenly looking panicked* “Wait… you’re not joking?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s $10.50 for a small popcorn and a bottle of water.”

Customer: *going pale* “I… I can’t…”

(She literally darts away without saying anything else. She comes back five minutes later.)

Customer: “Just the water, then.”

Me: “It’ll be $4.”

Customer: “Are you kidding? You weren’t last time. Please tell me you’re kidding this time! PLEASE! I just… I can’t understand!”

Me: “I understand your confusion and I apologize. The thing is, movie theaters make no money on ticket sales, really. Those profits mostly go back to the studios and distributors who make and release the film. Hence, concessions have to be marked up since it’s where our actual profit comes from.”

Customer: *VERY over-dramatic* “But I paid $10 for my ticket! I PAID $10 FOR MY TICKET! SURELY THAT’S ENOUGH FOR YOU TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY NOT TO CHARGE ME SO MUCH FOR WATER!”

(My coworker from the next register speaks up.)

Coworker: “We actually make just pennies on the dollar for tickets during the first few weeks a film is out. He’s telling the truth. We really don’t make any real money off of ticket sales.”

Customer: “I CAN’T!”

(She storms away. About five minutes later, a man in similarly expensive clothing walks in and waits by concession. A few minutes later, I hear the original customer, in a panicked voice speak up.)

Customer: *to man* “Honey! Come here now! I need you!”

(He darts away, shaking his head. I’m guessing this has happened before. I overhear their conversation as they disappear down the hall.)

Customer: “It was horrifying! Horrifying! I had to go splash water on my face and do a breathing exercise in the bathroom to calm myself down! Because my heart was pounding so hard! They actually charge $10 for popcorn and water! I can’t do this! I just can’t do this! If I have a heart attack, I’m going to file a lawsuit against this crooked theater!”

(I make sure they’re out of earshot.)

Me: “Did the woman whose sweatpants alone probably cost more than I make in a month REALLY just imply she was going to have a heart attack over $10 of concessions?”

Coworker: “Hey, just be glad you weren’t working here the one time we had to call the cops on a lady for assaulting a manager over a 75-cent price increase on popcorn a few years back.”

Me: “I don’t even want to know…”

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A Taxing Customer, Part 2

| KS, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(I work the front desk overnight at a franchise hotel. We give guests receipts underneath their doors the night before their departure. One morning, toward the end of my shift, an irate woman approaches the desk.)

Guest: “What are these extra charges on my receipt?!”

Me: “Hmm, let me bring this up on my computer to check this out… Well, all I see on here is the room charge and tax. Is there more on your copy that I could see?”

Guest: “Yes! There’s two taxes! State, and then this weird one!”

Me: “Oh, the occupancy tax? That is another term for the federal tax. Were you supposed to be tax exempt?”

Guest: “No, but I’ve never paid federal tax before! That’s not supposed to be there!”

Me: “I apologize, but this is just how the tax is set up here. We divide the state and federal, “occupancy” tax, instead of combining them, as they would at a gas station or elsewhere. It’s the same percentage on each, though.”

Guest: “No, this isn’t right. I’m going to have to ask my people.” *storms off*

Me: “…her people? Oh, well, whomever she asks will tell her the same.”

Related:

A Taxing Customer

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Crazy Customer? Fits The Bill

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Politics

(I work at a bank in a small lake-side city with lots of retired older folks. While working the drive-thru I have this exchange.)

Me: “Good morning!”

Customer: “I want to exchange this for 500 dollar bills.”

(He places a stack of 20s, 50s, and 100s in the drawer.)

Me: “Sir… I’m sorry we don’t have any 500s I can exchange the smaller bills for one hundred dollar bi—“

Customer: “That’s bull-s***! I BUY 500 DOLLAR BILLS ALL THE TIME! THE BANK ORDERS THEM FOR ME!”

Me: “Sir, we can’t even order those bills; they stopped printing them back in the 1970s.”

(The customer glares at me for a few moments, grabs his money out of the drawer and points at me.)

Customer: “I know what’s going on here. You’re covering for him.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “This is Obama’s doing!”

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Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 3

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “I have had this phone for two and a half months and the screen is already broken. Don’t you guys stand next to your products?”

Manager: “Of course we do, if it is defective, but no electronic store can cover hardware physical damage for free. That’s why most places offer insurance on their products. We also sell cases and screen guards to decrease the risk of damage in the instance of dropping or scratches.”

Customer: “I don’t believe in insurance. If the product was built poorly enough to need a case and a screen guard it should have come with one. I mean cars come with bumpers.”

Me: “But if you total your car, a bumper isn’t going to do you any good. Nothing is indestructible. Even cars have insurance and deductibles if you get into a wreck. The only difference in this instance is that you decided to keep it out of its “seatbelt” and have denied any insurance we have tried to offer you for the entire length of time you have been with this carrier.”

(The customer kept grumbling about our incompetence and how he should be given a new phone because we need to stand by our product.)

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 2
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance

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To Protect And To Steal

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a donut shop in lower Manhattan. A clearly homeless guy in a police uniform walks in holding clearly a fake gun.)

Homeless Man: “Give me all your money! This is police business!”

(I slowly start filling a bag with money, but before I do so, my coworker calls the police. Eventually, the police arrive, and as they do the homeless man begins to pretend to be a police officer trying to find the suspect.)

Homeless Man: *groaning* “Now where’d that man go. He must be gone. Too bad.”

(He ended up getting arrested and turned out to be a former police officer trying to find some cash.)

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