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Category: Money

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Give Him Free P&P For A Brain

| UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(A couple of customers walk into the store:)

Customer #1: “Hey, they have that Star Wars Expansion you want but is never available on-line!”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Customer #1: “Same price.”

(The second looks thoughtful for a moment…)

Customer #2: “Yeah, but it’s free P&P on-line…”

(He didn’t buy it.)

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A Taxing Customer

| Nashville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(Tennessee doesn’t have a state income tax, so sales tax is pretty high. Out-of-town visitors are often surprised at this. I witnessed this conversation between my coworker and two customers while I was at the next register.)

Coworker: “Your total is [amount]. You can swipe your card through the pad.”

Customer: “Wait, how much is that? Has it gone up?”

Coworker: “It’s [price]. We did have a little price increase at the beginning of the year.”

Customer’s Husband: “But that’s still not right. If it’s [price], then why is the total [amount]?”

Coworker: “Oh, that’s with tax!”

Customer: “What?! Why is the tax so high?”

Coworker: “Um… that’s the tax in this county in Tennessee.”

Customer’s Husband: “But WHY is the tax so high?”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “You can swipe your card through the pad there, sir.”

(They left still muttering about why the tax is so high. I almost told them that a neighboring county’s tax is .25% higher even than here. The kicker: when the customer gave her phone number for the rewards program, her area code indicated that she LIVED in the same town. She must freak out about the tax three times a day!)

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Glossing Over The Details

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a large chain retail store, and my location happens to have a small photo kiosk in it. I notice a customer who seems to be having some difficulty with his prints.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “I just can’t seem to figure out how to get the pictures to print on matte paper… I can’t find the option to change it from glossy.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We actually only carry glossy paper.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I need it on matte. How do I get it to print matte?”

Me: “We can’t. We don’t carry matte; our only option is glossy.”

Customer: “But I’m a professional photographer, and my customers requested matte paper. I can’t give them glossy. It just looks unprofessional. So, how can I fix this?”

Me: “I can try to look up other printers in the area for you, but unfortunately we won’t be able to do that for you. We only have glossy paper.”

Customer: “Well, fine! In that case, I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

(He picks up his prints and starts towards the door.)

Me: “Sir, you haven’t paid for those yet.”

Customer: “But they didn’t come out right. I’m not paying for them.”

Me: “If you take them, I have to charge you for them. Otherwise, we can dispose of them.”

Customer: “No! I’m a professional photographer, I can’t risk someone stealing them out of your trash and using them for their own profit!”

Me: “We can shred them for you.”

Customer: “But if you’re just going to throw them away anyway. Why can’t I just take them?”

(I finally convince the customer he has to pay for the prints before he can take them, and he leaves, still grumbling about how they’re defective because they’re not on matte paper.)

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An Un-fee-sable Excuse

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Money, Popular

(I work in the billing department of a large mental health clinic with multiple locations. Many clients call in to dispute missed appointment fees that accrue when a client no calls and/or no shows. The mother of a client calls:)

Me: “[Clinic] Billing Dept. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Mom: “I need you to remove the fee on my son’s account. I was really confused about the appointment.”

Me: “Okay, let’s look into it. So, what was confusing about the appointment?”

Mom: “Well, I didn’t think he had to go.”

Me: “Why is that?”

Mom: “Well, nothing has changed since the last appointment. The meds aren’t doing anything.”

Me: “He was still scheduled for an appointment, and the doctor would want to know if there weren’t any changes, so she could adjust the medications or try a different course of action.”

Mom: *suddenly sounding angry* “But you didn’t even send his medications to the pharmacy!”

Me: “Wait, so he hasn’t been taking his medication since three months ago?!”

Mom: “NO! Your stupid doctor didn’t send over the prescription!”

Me: “Okay. I have to ask: did you call us to see if we could re-send the prescription?”

Mom: “Well, no.”

Me: “Let me make sure I’m understanding this correctly. You came in for the appointment, and your son was prescribed [Medication]. You went to the pharmacy, and they didn’t have the prescription. You didn’t call us to notify the doctor that he would be without meds. Your son hasn’t been on his meds now for three months. You didn’t think he needed to be seen because his behavior hasn’t changed. And you want me to remove the fee even though you knew that he had an appointment at that day and time?”

Mom: “Yes, exactly!” *calmer now that I understand*

Me: “Well. I’ll see what I can do. Meanwhile, I’m going to notify his doctor about the situation, and I want you to schedule an appointment as soon as possible.”

(The call ended there. I looked, and we HAD sent the prescription, twice, both times confirmed by the pharmacy. At this point, I wasn’t even upset that she wanted the fee removed even though she knew about the appointment. I was angry that she had such blatant disregard for her eight-year-old’s health!)

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And The Gloves Come Off

| Ireland | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I’m on tills by myself and for the last 30 minutes I’ve been watching a lady trying on all our different work and garden gloves. I had tidied and re-priced that section only a few hours earlier; however, she has put nothing back in the right place and thrown gloves all around the rack as she takes them on and off. This lady is notorious for trying to get everything for well below the marked price. She finally walks up to the counter and throws down 2 pairs of heavy duty gardening gloves.)

Customer: “How much are these? There’s no prices down there for anything!”

Me: “Sure, they’re €5.99 and €11.99.”

Customer: “That can’t be right! Why are they more expensive?!”

Me: “The €5.99 ones are lightweight gloves. You’d use them for weeding or planting flowers. The €11.99 ones are much thicker gloves. They’re made for handling thorny plants.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the last pair down there. Surely you’ll knock a few euros off to get rid of them.”

Me: “We’re just low on stock. We’re getting more of them in next week.”

Customer: “Well, they were hanging on a peg that said €4.99 down there so you have to give me the gloves for that!”

Me: “Oh, so the section is priced?”

(The customer glared at me, before throwing €5.99 down on the counter and walking out in a huff with the cheap pair of gloves.)

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