Category: Money


Six Figures Under

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(I work at a call center for a life insurance company, providing information and support for agents and policy holders. I’ve actually had this conversation more than once.)

Caller: “I want to know why my beneficiary change wasn’t processed. Why was I sent a new form?”

Me: “Okay, if you just give me the policy number I can bring up your file and see what the problem is. Are you John Smith?”

Caller: “That’s me.”

Me: “Okay, and it looks like you wanted to name your beneficiary as… John Smith.”

Caller: “That’s right.”

Me: “Sir, you can’t be the beneficiary of your own policy.”

Caller: “Well, why not? It’s my policy.”

Me: “Yes, but in order for the policy to pay out, you have to be dead.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. It’s my money.”

Me: “Well, technically, yes. If you really want to take it with you, I suggest making arrangements with a funeral home to ensure that you are buried with it.”


Refunder Blunder, Part 20

| San Diego, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(My department is small so when we go on lunch that there’s no one at our register. I go on lunch and leave a sign saying when I will return. Once I come back I find a box with a note attached sitting at my register.)

Note: “Hello, I’m looking to refund/return the items enclosed. You were out on lunch. Reason: Fit of the henleys and one duplicate shirt purchased. My receipt is attached. I can be contacted at [number]. Thank You.

(Customer calls an hour after I get back.)

Customer: “So did you return my stuff?”

Me: “Sir, anyone could have taken your merchandise before I returned to process it. You should have waited and come back another time.”

Customer: “But did you do it?”

Me: *sighs* “I returned your items and the money will be back on your card in three business days. But it was a really bad—”

Customer: *hangs up*

Refunder Blunder, Part 19
Refunder Blunder, Part 18
Refunder Blunder, Part 17


Don’t Bank On Their Cooperation

| UK | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work in a call centre that offers customer support for a ticket company. This call comes in a couple of hours into my shift.)

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached [Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, first of all, I was trying to book tickets online yesterday and it’s not letting me. Second of all, I think it’s absolutely outrageous that you do not have a customer service line.”

(This statement throws me off a bit and we have a few seconds of silence.)

Me: “Okay, but… you are speaking to our customer services now?”

Customer: “Well, yes, NOW. But my issue occurred 24 hours ago. I think this is absolutely ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that; however, we are open every day from 9 to 6 so we were in fact available for you to call yesterday on this number. This is the number to call if you need support.”

Customer: “So, if I need help I call this number?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you the customer services?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Then why can’t I book tickets?”

(I look up his purchase attempt records and can see the customer’s transactions were refused by his bank.)

Me: “Okay, I can see here that it is your bank that is refusing the payments. It could be because they need you to verify that you want to make these online transactions.”

Customer: “So, what do I need to do?”

Me: “You need to contact your bank and verify with them what is going on.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: “Well, you could use your Internet banking or give them a call.”

Customer: “But it takes ages to get through to them! I can’t believe it’s become this complicated to just book some tickets. Do I really have to go through all this trouble?!”

Me: “Well, I can’t see why your bank is denying these payments so you will need to speak them.”

Customer: “You know what? Forget it. It’s not worth it. I can’t believe how difficult you’re making this. Bye.” *click*

(I was left stunned at the sheer stupidity of someone who not only calls customer services to complain that there is no way to contact customer services, but also blames his credit card refusal on a company who would be more than happy to take his money.)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am one of the head tellers in a big multi-state bank, and I hear loud voices in the drive-through where one of our newest tellers is working. I go back there and he hands me a personal check and debit card for the woman in the first lane, who has refused to give him her driver’s license. I ask him to pull the account and since the check is only $300, I allow him to check signatures in lieu of the ID, because it is her check. The customer is yelling at him and is glaring at me through the window, so I go over to do some customer service.)

Me: “Hi, I’m the head teller here. Thank you for your patienc—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “If he won’t give me my money I will just take that check back.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, here at [Bank] we verify IDs to make sure that we are—”

Customer: *again interrupts me, more angry* “I have NEVER been asked for my ID. I go to [Other Branch] all the time.”

Me: “Ah, see, if they know you by name at that branch that is likely why they are willing to bend the rules for you.”

Customer: “What? Is that [Bank] policy?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, in the drive-up any amounts over $100 need two IDs.”


Me: “[Teller] is cashing it out right now. He was able to verify the signatures on it, but you know, if something happened, if someone had – god forbid – taken your purse and had your checks and ID—”


(I stare at her flabbergasted and frankly I have no idea what to respond. At that moment the other teller presents me with the funds and she drives off immediately, glaring at both of us the entire time. I look at my new teller and he shrugs.)

Me: “So, if someone takes her purse, we are supposed to give them her money as well?”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 49
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 48
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47


Mexico Will Pay The Tax For Me

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Politics

(A customer has been somewhat annoying and his wife is getting tired of it. He becomes unconvinced that their 10% off coupon works and begins doing the math, saying that it should only have been $50.)

Wife: “You have to add the tax.”

Husband: *serious* “I don’t pay taxes. I’m a Trump supporter.”

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