Category: Money


Doesn’t Know The Tip Of Scriptural Meaning

| Bad Behavior, Money, Popular, Religion

(I am a waitress at a restaurant. I’ve served a table and they are done with their meal but are just sitting and talking so I collect their empty dishes. When I do I discover that they’ve half hidden one of those fake $10 bills with John 3:16 written on it. I’m normally a pretty professional person, but I can’t help but speak up.)

Me: “Did you mean to leave this as a tip?”

Customer #1: “Yes. If you just accept Jesus Christ into your heart his love will be worth much more than any tip I could give you.”

Me: *pulls out cross necklace that I usually wear under my uniform* “Sir, I’m 32 years old and I’ve been a Christian since I was 17. I attend church twice a week unless I’m scheduled to work, and the God I know would tell me to lead by example. If you don’t want to tip your waitresses, fine, that’s your right, but please do not insult them or God by using Him as an excuse for it.”

(I tossed the “tip” back at him and take the dishes back to the kitchen leaving him dumbfounded. My manager intercepts me on my way back out to the dining room to check on my other tables.)

Manager: “Please go wait in the break room. I need to talk to you.”

(I do as he asks and I spend the next 10 minutes concerned that I am going to get written up or even fired.)

Manager: *walking into the break room* “So, I was going to write you up, but when I went out to talk to the table, three other tables informed me that if I fired you they were never coming back. I’m not going to write you up, but you really can’t do that. So why don’t you go home early today and come back tomorrow when you’re less aggravated?”

(I got my stuff and while I was on my way out I run into a customer that was sitting nearby in another waiter’s section.)

Customer #2: “Oh, no, you didn’t get fired, did you?”

Me: “No, I didn’t get fired. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Customer #2: “I’m glad. I hope this cheers you up.” *she writes something on the back of her receipt and hands it to me.*

(When I got home I looked up the bible verse she suggested, Proverbs 11:24-25: “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.)


Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(A teenage guest goes into our snack shop and picks out two drinks.)

Guest: “These are $4.00, right?”

Me: “$4.24.”

Guest: “$4.24?!”

Me: “Yes, with the tax.”

Guest: “I don’t like tax!”

Too Taxing For Them To Understand


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55

| Mexico | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work for a telecommunications company in the billing department. We usually get calls about promotions and gift cards sent to customers as flyers. The card is made out of paper and is just for promotion, so they have no value.)

Me: “Hello and thanks for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, today I received a gift card and want to know how to use it.”

(While the card has no name on it, it can be used at locations to pay for purchases.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, you can use it to pay at stores, but not online since the card is not personalized and does not have a name or address attached to it.”

Customer: “No, no, I mean, how can I start using it?”

Me: “You mean to activate it? We would just have to speak with the gift card department and they can take the number and have it ready for you in a few minutes.” *feeling, however, that she is a bit doubtful about the card itself* “May I ask what the number is?”

Customer: “1234 5678 9100 0000.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is not a card. It is just a flyer that informs you that if you sign up with us, you can be eligible for a card of that value.”

Customer: “But it says I have $200! I want to have the money. Activate it now!”

Me: *feeling that it will just go downhill from here on* “Ma’am, the card is made out of paper and no business will take it as a payment method. Even the number is invalid since no card starts with a 1, or has a number that easy to guess.”

(The customer rambles for a few seconds and says we are all a bunch of scammers and that she would contact every news channel as well as the police to have us arrested before hanging up.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Am I supposed to travel to the U.S. to be arrested? Or shall I wait for them to come get me?”

Coworker: “I only want to see the news: Woman can’t distinguish card from paper flyer.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52


Cents-lessly Arguing

| RI, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(A customer comes up to my register with a can of tuna. She explains that the tuna was part of a recall and would like to return it, but does not have the receipt. Normally returns without receipts are given store credit.)

Me: “Since it’s part of a recall, should I still give her store credit, or can I give her cash?”

Supervisor: “You can give her cash if the register will let you.”

(I process the refund and my supervisor overrides it so that I can give her the cash, which comes to $2.27.)

Customer: “It was 88 cents.”

Me: “Without a receipt I have to give you what the register thinks it’s currently worth, which is $2.27.”

Customer: “But I only paid 88 cents. I returned one at the other store and they gave me 88 cents.”

Me: *to supervisor* “She wants less money than I’m trying to give her.”

Supervisor: “So give her less money?”

Me: “Can I modify the price of a return?”

Supervisor: “No, the register won’t let you.”

Me: *to customer* “I’m sorry, but I can’t change the price. The register wants me to give you $2.27.”

Customer: “The other store gave me 88 cents. I only paid 88 cents. I don’t like to steal.”

(The customer then proceeded to count 12 cents from her wallet and take a dollar bill before leaving the store, leaving the rest of the money on the counter.)


Gun Control Out Of Control, Part 2

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Popular, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]! My name is [My Name]. How can I help—”

Customer: “Now listen here, f*****! I keep getting these calls saying I’m past due on my bill! I pay my bill ON TIME, EVERY MONTH! What the h*** is the meaning of this?”

(The customer continues on in this fashion for about fifteen minutes, swearing at me and calling me names. I finally managed to get his account pulled up, and wouldn’t you know it, he indeed has a past due balance. He has actually been about a month behind on his bill for most of the year. I proceed to explain the situation to him, going a year back and explaining each bill to him.)

Me: “Sir, I understand your frustration, but the fact of the matter is, you’ve been behind a month on your bill for the past year. You’ve been turned off twice in that time. This is why you continually get those automated calls. If you’d like, I can set you up on a payment plan to get you caught back up.”

Customer: “Why? So you and your communist company can swindle me out of more money? You can go right to h***, and if I get one more call about my so-called ‘past due’ balance, I’ll send you there myself! I have a gun, and it’s looking a bit bored, if you get my meaning.”

Me: *becoming angry* “Okay, sir, you have now crossed a very serious line. Are you aware that making death threats is a serious crime?”

Customer: “It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. I will hunt you down, mother-f*****!”

Me: “See, now, I don’t think that’s going to be possible. For one thing, you haven’t the slightest idea where I am. I could be five miles away from you, or clear across the country. So, best of luck finding me. Second, this call is being recorded, as I’m sure you’re well aware, so our entire conversation would stand as evidence in a court of law. Third, in keeping with your ignorance of my whereabouts, you know nothing about me except my first name and where I work. I, however, have your full name, address, telephone number, social security number, and a whole myriad of other information that would prove quite useful to the police, should I choose to file a police report. And believe me, I intend to. Now, would you like to rethink your threats, or do you want to carry on with your plan to gun me down?”

Customer: “…’m sorry.”

Me: “Thank you. Now, these calls will continue until your past due balance is paid. I recommend paying the whole balance in full and getting your account current so we don’t have to have this conversation again.”

(The rest of the call was him mumbling sheepishly and me happily closing the call. Never heard back from him, strangely enough!)

Gun Control Out Of Control

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