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Category: Money

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A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

(I am ringing up a customer, and it came time to tell them their total)

Me: “Your total comes to $13.34.”

Customer: *hands me $20 bill*

Me: “Out of $20? Ok, your change is $6.66. Have-”

Customer: “Oh! Oh no, can’t have THAT number! I don’t want that, you don’t want that either! Oh! Just.. put the coins in the donation box! We can’t have THAT!”

Me: “…Sure. Uh, have a nice day…”

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

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Refunder Blunder, Part 21

| Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am approached by an initially-pleasant elderly couple.)

Me: “Prynhawn da, good afternoon; may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, we were wondering if you know anything about yesterday’s car crash?”

Me: “The one at [Tiny Village] about six pm? Yes, it affected my route home – I took a quick diversion through a mountain pass that runs parallel to the main road.”

Customer: “What happened, then?”

Me: “Well, I’m not privy to all the details but from what I hear, nobody died.”

Customer: “Well, that’s good. The poor dears.”

Customer’s Husband: “The poor dears. Anyway, since you said nobody died, we’d like to know how we may apply for compensation?”

Me: “Sir, if you were involved in the accident or a witness you need to contact the police straight away! You could have vital information. Your insurance company might want to know too.”

Customer: “Oh, no, dear, no! Nothing like that.”

Customer’s Husband: “The road had been closed for over an hour when we got there and we didn’t see a thing.”

Me: “Then how could you possibly need compensating? I’m really sorry, but I don’t understand.”

Customer: “Well, the policeman at the road block gave us directions.”

Me: “O… kay?”

Customer’s Husband: “He offered us two routes back to [Town I am working in].”

Customer: “One sounds like that single track road you said you used.”

Customer’s Husband: “And the other was sticking to the main roads and driving back around the mountain range the other way.”

Customer: “We didn’t want to go into the mountains, you see. Imagine if we met another car!”

Customer’s Husband: “So we went the long way. And now we’d like to claim our money back for the extra fuel.”

(I am dumbstruck and stand there with my mouth open for a good few seconds whilst I think of something useful to tell them.)

Me: “Well, sir and ma’am, I’m not aware of any council-run schemes to compensate people for inconveniences or extra costs incurred for those not involved in a roadside emergency. I can give you the number for the department in the council that deals with roadways, but if anything like this IS available, my guess is that it would take the form of an insurance payout from the companies the vehicles actually involved were insured with. I have no idea if you can even get that information, but I can give you contact details for the nearest police station, who should be able to tell you.”

Customer’s Husband: “That sounds complicated.”

Customer: “We were hoping you might have a refund button on your till for it and could just give us cash today.”

Customer’s Husband: “We don’t mind if you have to refund it on our card, though.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve come to a tourist information kiosk. The ONLY functions on my till are for the sale and returns of maps and souvenirs. On the off-chance that there IS a law somewhere that says you may claim compensation for the type of issue you had yesterday, it would be dealt with centrally anyway and you’d get a cheque in the post. As I’ve said, it is NOT something we can deal with here. You would need to contact the police, a solicitor, or perhaps our roadways department.”

Customer: “Okay, well, that’s not really what we wanted to hear, but thank you, dear.”

(I needed to go and make a very strong cup of tea after they left!)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19
Refunder Blunder, Part 18

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 51

| Essex, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work in a call centre for a clothing manufacturer and distributor. As we occasionally deliver internationally we work 24/7. At about 4 am I have a call come through.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

(Customer proceeds to reel off her credit card details.)

Me: *trying to politely interrupt* “Oh, excuse me, you’re through to [Company]. Did you want to place an order?”

Customer: *annoyed* “I already placed an order half an hour ago. I couldn’t find my card. I’ve found it now so I’m giving you my card.”

(There are only two of us in the office at this time and neither of us have taken a call in about two hours.)

Me: “Okay, well, if I can take your ZIP code—” *she’s American* “—I can search for your—”

Customer: *interrupting* “I only need to give you my card details; that’s all you need.”

Me: “Well, I would need to find your details to put your order through.”

Customer: *yelling* “I already placed an order! You have my details; I need to give you my card!”

Me: “I’m afraid I’d need to take the order again as we can’t put an order through without…”

Customer: *interrupting* “Are you from the UK? I can’t understand a word you’re saying; you people speak gibberish. If you want to be smart like us in America you need to listen when I speak.”

Me: *speaking slower* “Yes, we are based in the UK. I do understand; if I can take your ZIP code I can search for your—”

Customer: *Interrupting* “I went to London once. I went to Sloane Street. You people are fools who speak gibberish.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. Like I said if you’d like me to help I—”

Customer: “Can you just take my card details?!”

(This goes on for a while. Eventually she gives me her ZIP code and her details are unsurprisingly not on our system. She is unhappy to give me the rest of her details but eventually does whilst consistently insisting I only need her card details. Eventually I get to the point where I search for the product she wants to order.)

Me: “Unfortunately, I can see that we are currently out of stock of that item and would take about three weeks to make more.”

Customer: “I wasn’t told this before!” *again, we had had no previous call*

Me: “Well, we can still make it for you but—”

Customer: “I wasn’t told this before!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t know why you would have been told otherwise but—”

Customer: “I wasn’t told this before! Stop talking gibberish! I wasn’t told this before!”

(This continues for a while. Eventually she agrees to place the order on back order and I finally take her card details.)

Me: “Oh, unfortunately, your payment has failed to go through.”

Customer: *in a very matter of fact tone* “Well, it wouldn’t. My daughter cancelled my card.”

(I pause for a moment.)

Customer: “Well, how can you sort this out for me?”

Me: “I can’t take payment from a cancelled card, I’m afraid. If you have another I can—”

Customer: “Why can’t you? Why won’t you help me? Un-cancel my card!”

Me: “I can’t; you’d need to speak to your bank.”

Customer: “My bank is [American Bank] and their number is [their number].”

Me: “I couldn’t speak to them. You would…”

(Customer interrupts me and proceeds to give me all her bank’s security details, despite my protests that she shouldn’t tell me. And then she gives me her daughter’s contact details as well to convince her to reactivate the card.)

Me: “Miss [Customer], I’m really very sorry but due to many data protection laws I couldn’t possibly—”

Customer: “I don’t think you are from Sloane Street. I think you must be from Kings Cross or Convent Garden.”

(The customer seemed to have an absolute fit when I explained I wasnot in London. She continued to insist I reactivate her card for a good while and then eventually called me unhelpful and useless, then hung up. These calls normally take about three-four minutes. I was on this call for over half an hour.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 49
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 48

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Time To Coin An Idiotic Phrase

| Marion, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I work at a grocery store as a bagger. Part of my duties include gathering the shopping carts from the parking lot and bringing them back to the store lobby. I am doing this when I am hailed by a man standing beside the drink vending machines on the store sidewalk/porch.)

Man: “Can you help me? How do you get this thing to work? I can’t get it to work. I already put in three quarters.”

(I go over and see him press the drink dispense button. Nothing dispenses, so I look up to the display where it shows the price – it says “Sold out.”)

Me: “Sir, it looks like that one is sold out. Is there another one you might want to get?”

Man: “Well, the strawberry or peach.”

(I press those, and note that it still says “Sold out.”)

Me: “Um… hm. Those appear to be sold out as well…”

Man: “Well, any of them. I put in my quarters.”

(I proceed to press all them, checking after each one that they are ALL “Sold out.”)

Me: “Uh, well, since they’re all sold out, I think this lever here is the coin return.”

(I push down the coin return, don’t hear anything, check to confirm that it didn’t return his money, and then try again a few more times to no avail. The store will give refunds to customers when the machines eat their money, so I prepare to instruct him on going up to the front desk to get his 75 cents back.)

Me: “Huh, it’s not giving you your change back. Well, sir, since it isn’t working, what I would do is go inside and—”

Man: “It didn’t even take my money!”

Me: “What…?”

Man: “See, look! You can see the quarters just sitting there!”

(He points. Our vending machines have a lock cover, a piece of metal that has a vertical rectangular hole that connects with a prong to keep people from accessing the lock and getting inside the machine. There is a small gap between the edge of the hole and the prong on this particular machine, and he has placed all three quarters side by side in this gap. These quarters are clearly visible now that I know where to look, but they aren’t accessible.)

Me: “Uh…” *I try to pry the latch unsuccessfully. I spot a coworker nearby* “Are you going inside?”

Coworker: “Yeah, why?”

Me: “This man has put his money in the lock cover instead of the coin slot. Could you get someone to come out and help him get it when you go in?”

Coworker: *look of disbelief* “Yeah.”

Me: “Sir, someone will be out to help you get your money.”

(I return to collecting shopping carts. I see one of the managers come out a minute later. I don’t hear most of the conversation, but I see that he has gotten the latch off and given the man his money. I overhear a little bit.)

Manager: “Well, sir, that’s not the coin slot; that’s just a cover.”

Me: *shaking my head*

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Should Have Cashed Out Early

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(I’m a customer in line for an ice cream fundraiser. There are three teenage girls in front of me and one cashier. Ice cream is $3.)

Girl: *to friend* “Hey, do you have change for a five?”

Cashier: “You need change?”

Girl: “Yeah, do you have five ones for a five?”

Cashier: “You’re buying ice cream…?”

Girl: “Yeah, but I need five ones for a five.”

Cashier: “I can just… You want me to keep three of them?”

Girl: “No! I want five ones for a five.”

Cashier: “Okay… here you go.”

Girl: “Thanks. Ice cream is $3?”

(The girl takes three of the ones the cashier just gave her and hands them back to the cashier.)

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