Category: Money

Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A customer comes into the store and comments her bills are higher than they should be. She has looked at her bill and it’s saying she’s calling people she doesn’t know. I sit the customer down and log into her account.)

Customer: “I’ve just seen my bill and it’s £50.”

Me: “The last abnormally high bill you had was three months ago.”

Customer: “No it says it’s £50; I looked before I came in.”

Me: “Do you mind showing me how you are viewing your bill?”

Customer: “No problem.”

(She starts by clicking the link in her text to view her bill, and then proceeds to click on the link to use the app. Once in the app store, she then showed me where it showed me her bill and the random people she had called. Turns out she had been viewing the example photos of how the app worked.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59

| Ashland, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “So I want to do $40 cash, and the rest on my debit card.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(I put the cash through, same as any other order, and then…)

Me: “Okay, go ahead and slide your card now.”

Customer: “But I left it at home.”

Me: *stunned* “You left it at home?”

Customer: “Yeah… Wait, you mean I need to bring the card with me to use it?”

Me: *speechless*

(Thankfully, a manager nearby overheard the exchange and jumped in…)

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, you need to bring your card. We can’t use a debit card that you don’t have.”

Customer: “But I have a debit card! Are you telling me I can’t use my card? Why can’t I use it?!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to come back with your card.”

Customer: “But I have a card!”

(This went on for a good minute or so. The manager ultimately wound up voiding out the second half of the order, telling the customer to come back *with her card* to pay for it. Afterward:)

Customer: “Make sure you don’t put that stuff away! I’ll be back! *leaves*

Next Customer: *shakes her head*

Me: *still speechless*

Bagger: “So… how much you want to bet she doesn’t come back?”

(She didn’t come back. That second half of the order? Mostly frozen food.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 3

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Caller: “I need to place an order for a 10′ truck.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am! Can I start with your phone number?”

Caller: “My WHAT?”

Me: “Your phone number, ma’am?”

Caller: “Why do you need my phone number?”

Me: “I’m building a customer profile for you, so we can contact you with your rental information later.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t want one. Just reserve a truck for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t finish making a reservation if I don’t have a name and phone number to put on it.”

Caller: “So now you want my name, too? I’m not letting you data-farm me!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t data-farming you. We just need to know who’s renting the truck.”

Caller: “Just put me down as ‘Jane Doe.’”

Me: “Okay… I still need a phone number.”

Caller: “Again? Fine, just put [phone number].”

Me: “All right, thank you, ma’am. We’ll just skip the email address for now…” *clicks buttons*

Caller: “What, and now you want my email? I thought this was a rental company?”

Me: “I don’t need your email address; it’s an optional step for people who want us to email them their order information.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not giving it to you. I don’t want my inbox to get spammed with junkmail.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. So will you be using this rental in the [Township] area?”

Caller: “How do you know I’m from [Township]?!”

Me: “Well, that’s the center you called, so I assumed that’s where you want to—”

Caller: “Are you tracing my call? If you knew that, then why did you ask for my name?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called a [Township] [Rental Company] dealer. No one is tracing your call.”

Caller: “How do I know you’re not tracking me right now? Can you tell where I am?”

Me: “I can’t, ma’am… I have no idea where you are.”

Caller: “Good. Keep it that way.”

Me: “So, do you need it for the [Township] area?”

Caller: “Where I go with my rental is my business. All YOU need to know is that I’m picking it up at your center at 10:00 am tomorrow and I’m dropping it off before you close. ”

Me: “Okay, got it. Let me see what’s available…” *skips a few forms to get to the truck list* “All right, I see a 10′ truck here, but it won’t be available until tomorrow afternoon. Is that still okay?”

Caller: “No, you’re not listening. I said I need it tomorrow at 10:00 am.”

Me: “I understand that ma’am, but our 10′ trucks are booked all morning. Would you like me to check other nearby centers to see if there are more available?”

Caller: “No, you’re still not listening. I need it at YOUR center at 10:00 am. I didn’t call a different center because I don’t want it at their center. I need it from THIS center, and I need it at 10:00 am.”

Me: “Well, in that case, would you consider an alternate truck size? I see here that the 15′ truck would be available in your time frame.”

Caller: “NO. I DO NOT WANT A 15′ TRUCK. Stop trying to up-sell me and give me the truck I asked for.”

Me: “I’m trying to ma’am, but I’m telling you it’s booked for tomorrow morning. Someone else will have it.”

Caller: “Then what’s the point of calling ahead?”

Me: “Ah… you called the night before. That’s still very short notice.”

Caller: “So how far in advance am I supposed to call?”

Me: “Well, first of all, the weekends are very busy, and you’re calling on a Friday night to pick up a truck on Saturday. If you want a better shot at getting a truck you should try reserving a week or two in advance and set it up on a weekday. I know Tuesdays tend to be very slow—”

Caller: “Well, I didn’t know I would need a truck a week ago, and I have to work during the week.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and that’s typically the case for everyone.”

Caller: “So instead of giving me what I ask for, all you can do is make excuses.”

Me: *slightly agitated* “Ma’am, I am doing the best I can for you. You’re telling me what you want, and I’m telling you what we have. What I have is a 15′ truck that you can pick up tomorrow at 10:00 am and keep all day. Frankly, I’m shocked I can offer that deal on such short notice. If that doesn’t work for you, then I’m afraid you’ll have to alter your plans a little bit to fit the situation.”

Caller: “Fine, whatever. I’ll take that one. I’m tired of hearing you b**** and moan.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “All right, ma’am, I have the 15′ truck scheduled to pick up at 10:00 am. The price will be $29.95 plus $0.79 per mile and a $1 environmental fee.” *a feeling of dread creeps in* “Which credit card would you like to use to confirm this reservation?”

Caller: “NOW, HOLD ON! First you want my personal information, and now you want my CREDIT CARD?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t going to charge it. We just need it to—”

Caller: “THE H*** YOU AREN’T! After all this trouble you’re giving me, now you’re trying to hack my bank account? If you think I’m giving you something as valuable as that over the phone, then you’re crazy. I’ll pay in cash.”

Me: “I understand, but I can’t put a hold on the equipment without a card number.”

Caller: “So now you’re blackmailing me? You’re going to hold my rental hostage until I give you what you want? GO F*** YOURSELF!” *hangs up*

Related:
Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 2
Doesn’t Give A Truck

New Year’s Pay

| NM, USA | Holidays, Money, Time

(It’s New Year’s Eve and we close at noon. It’s fifteen after when a lady walks up to the locked doors and tries to pry them open.)

Customer: “I need to make a deposit! Let me in!”

Me: *pointing to hours posted on the door* “Ma’am, we are closed. You can make a deposit at our ATM and it will be processed on Monday, or you can come in on Monday to make the deposit in person.”

Customer: “It’s just one deposit! Let me in!” *frantically pulling at the door*

Me: “Ma’am, our teller drawers are closed for the day and locked up. We can not possibly make a deposit at this point. The calendars in our system are set for Monday, so it won’t accept any transactions.”

Customer: “Take it! TAKE IT!” *now trying to shove the deposit through the crack in the door*

(At that point, I just rolled my eyes and walked away. I feel bad for people whose account might get overdrawn, but if we can’t do anything, we can’t do anything!)

The Christmas Gift Card That Keeps On Giving

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Money

(I work in a bookstore. It is Christmas Eve, an hour before we close. The most important part of our customer service policy is fast cashiering. We have a huge line and only three cashiers, including myself, when an elderly couple comes to my register.)

Woman: *puts a pile of magazines down, and hands me two of our membership cards and a printout slip for a gift card saying it has 23 dollars on it* “We’d like to get these, please, and we want to pay with the gift card.”

Me: *rings up the magazines* “Okay, ma’am, you have two membership cards here… Do you know which one you want to use?”

Woman: “What? No. Those are gift cards!”

Me: “No, ma’am, those are membership cards. They give you ten percent off your purchase.”

(I ring in one card and find that it’s expired. I don’t know why they had two, as we could have just renewed it, but I use the second and give them both back to her anyway. I show her on the screen where she got ten percent off)

Woman: “Fine. Pay with this.” *she hands me the slip for the gift card, which only tells me the last four digits of the card, and the amount; it is worthless as payment*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t use this. Do you have the actual card with you?”

Woman: “No. I don’t understand! The manager last time slid the card in the machine and gave me the slip and then kept the card. He said I could use this instead!”

Me: “I’m sorry… You say our manager took your card? Do you know which manager this was?”

Woman: “It’s the younger man.”

Me: *knowing who she’s talking about, and knowing that there’s no way he would take a card away and tell her to use the slip* “I’m sorry, ma’am, he’s not in right now. Let me call another manager over.”

(I call another manager over, who is equally confused. She then calls a second manager over. At this point all three of us are trying to calm the woman down.)

Woman: “So you can’t use that slip? Why would we even get a gift card anyway, if you’re just going to tell me I can’t use it? That’s just stupid!”

Man: “Just leave them; I don’t want them anymore if we can’t use the card.”

Woman: “NO! THEY’RE GOING TO USE THE CARD OR THEY’RE GOING TO GIVE US OUR MONEY BACK THAT WAS ON THAT CARD!”

(The managers calm her down and run to the back office, leaving me there at the register with them. Using the two membership cards, they eventually find out what happened.)

Manager: *showing her the receipt they found on file* “Okay, ma’am, according to our system, you used that gift card over two months ago, on a cookbook. You completely used it up, which is why the other manager took it. When a gift card is used up, we throw it away to avoid exactly this confusion.”

Woman: “Well, I’m glad we figured this out. Pay them, honey.” *she then walks away, leaving her husband and the rest of us, guffawing*

Man: *pays and takes the bag from me* “Merry Christmas!”

(The whole ordeal took a half an hour; definitely not fast.)

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