Category: Money

Stop And (Meno)Pause For Thought

| Seattle, WA, USA | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body, Money

(Every month my store has items that are free after rebate. This deal is extremely popular so sometimes we run out of the items. A customer walks up to me with an ad paper and points to one of the free after rebate items.)

Customer: “I am looking for this item.”

(It was very obvious to me that English was not this gentleman’s first language. I also knew we were running low on that particular item.)

Me: “Well, sir, I can show you where it would be if we have any left. Follow me.”

(I bring him over to cosmetics area where the display was.)

Customer: “Why are we in the ladies department?”

Me: “Ah, well, sir, the item that you pointed out to me is a product for ladies.”

Customer: “Item is free after rebate, yes?”

Me: “Sir, I have to ask. Do you know what the item is for?”

Customer: “It’s free.”

Me: “Yes, it is free after rebate. But do you know what the product is used for?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “This product is a lubrication for ladies that have gone through menopause.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “It is a lubricant for women who are older and can’t have children anymore.”

(He stares at me totally shocked.)

Customer: “I don’t want that!”

Me: “I thought you might not. You have a nice day, sir.”

Not A Big Fan Of Labels

| Manchester, England, UK | Food & Drink, Money

(It’s quite a quiet day with just a steady trickle of customers. It’s all nice and quiet until a woman approaches me with her little basket full of goodies. She seems the typical “I’m too good to be shopping here” customer, but I remain pleasant as always. I scan her items through, and reach a couple of tins of beans.)

Customer: “Check that they’re two tins for £1.50.”

(I scan them through.)

Me: “Sorry. They’re [price] each.”

Customer: “No. It said on the shelf that there were two for £1.50!”

(Usually I call another member of staff from the floor to check prices, but it is quiet and the tinned food aisle isn’t too far away. I go and check it myself. I find a sign clearly stating that only one variety of beans are in the deal. The sort she picked up was next to them, with their own clear label. I take the labels off the shelf and take them back to the woman at the till. I show them to her.)

Me: “Sorry about the wait. I checked, and unfortunately it is only the [Brand #1] beans which are in the deal; these are [Brand #2], so they’re [price].”

Customer: *in a condescending tone* “Well, yes, the labels would say that now, wouldn’t they! I won’t take them.”

(I rung her up and waved her on her way. I didn’t point out that I did not have a label printer concealed down my t-shirt just to fix prices of baked beans…)

Minimum Wage Gets Minimum Recognition

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

(A man has come to the registers and is buying some travel sized shampoos.)

Customer: “I’m going overseas for a while. Thought I’d stock up.”

Me: “Oh, that’s exciting. Where are you heading?”

Customer: “India, Spain, and then Morocco for a year. It should be good.”

Me: “I’m so jealous! I’d love to go travelling when I can find the money.”

Customer: “You already have the money. You’re just spending it on other things.”

Me: *deadpan* “Yes, like rent. And food.”

(The man didn’t seem to comprehend that not everyone can afford to go overseas at all, much less for a year!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 62

| UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(My company provides all sorts of home help, ranging from nurses to home aides to babysitters for sick children.)

Me: “Good morning, [Company]; this is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hi, I wanted to talk to someone about this letter I received.”

Me: “Sure, what is your question?”

Caller: “Well, I received a notice about a payment I made three months ago. I don’t understand because I did pay the bill. Can you transfer me to the babysitting service?”

(I try to connect her but get no answer, so I ask her if I can take a message.)

Caller: “Well, yes. You see, I lost the original bill so I just paid 200€ to your company account and I figured that would be the end of it.”

Me: *dumbfounded* “You did what?”

Caller: “I mean, why are you sending me an invoice if it’s been paid?”

Me: “Ma’am, I doubt your bill was paid as it was likely not the correct amount and did not have a correct reference number.”

Caller: “But you still sent me a notice.”

(At this point, and before my eyes roll out of my head I try the service again. This time I do get someone answering.)

Me: *to coworker* “You’re never going to believe this one…”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 61
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 60
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59

There’s Madness In The Methodist

, | Durham, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money, Religion

(I’m working a pumpkin sale at our church. All proceeds go to “mission work,” which is hunger relief in town and in Haiti, providing poor students at local schools with needed supplies, and Habitat for Humanity. We sell about two tractor trailer loads a season at slightly higher than regular retail, and do a lot of good work with the proceeds.)

Customer: “You’ve got such great pumpkins here!”

Me: “Thank you, we’re proud of our patch. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Well, I like to make brandy out of pumpkins, so I’d like you to give me a discount on a big batch.”

Me: “Let me get this straight: you’re at a charity pumpkin sale at a church, and you’d like a moonshiner’s discount?”

Customer: *leaves in embarrassed silence*

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