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Category: Money

Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a gift shop at a castle. A puzzled customer comes up to the till.)

Customer: “How much are your postcards?”

Me: “They’re 50 pence.”

Customer: “So 50p means 50 pence?”

Me: “Yep, they’re the same thing.”

Customer: “Okay, so, I have a certificate for 5.”

(We don’t do gift certificates to the best of my knowledge, so…)

Me: “Sorry; when you say certificate, what exactly do you mean?”

Customer: “It’s like a… bill?”

Me: “A five pound note?”

Customer: “A what?”

Me: *baffled* “May I ask where you’re from?”

Customer: “I’m from California.”

Me: “Right, well, basically, our pence are like your cents, and our pounds are like your dollars. It’s 100 pence to a pound.”

Customer: “OH! That makes so much more sense of all of your shops!”

Putting The Green Into The Machine

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(The customer orders her food and starts to drive off before the total was told.)

Employee: “The total will be $10.27.”

Customer: *muffled, because she’s pulled forward* “Did you received my $20.”

Employee: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: *still muffled* “Did you get my $20?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you please pull up to the first window and we’ll take care of it?”

(The customer pulls up to the drive thru window.)

Customer: “I was asking if you received my $20. I put it in the machine.”

Employee: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, we don’t have a machine. We take cash at the window.”

Customer: “Oh, I guess my money is outside, then.”

(One of the employees was sent out to get the customer’s money from the drive thru speaker.)

TARDIS Rental Services

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Transportation

(I work in a travel agency and we handle a lot of rental car bookings. Note: if you book a car early, and want to change something about the booking, the rate for the car will change. This exchange takes place with a customer who has booked a car about three months prior:)

Customer: “I’d like to change my booking to pick the car up a day earlier.”

Me: “I’d be happy to take care of that.” *pulls up new booking info* “Your new rate is going to be  [several hundred dollars more].”

Customer: “For that much, I could just go buy a car. The new rate is supposed to only be $30 dollars more for an extra day.”

Me: “That’s not how it works. You booked this three months ago and that rate isn’t available anymore. That extra day rate is if you return it a day later, not if you pick it up a day earlier.”

Customer: “Can’t you just go back to then and re-book it for me?”

Me: “You want me to travel back to March and book this for you again?”

Customer:“Yes.”

Me: “I can’t travel through time to re-book this for you. I’m sorry. If you want to change it—”

Customer: “—well never mind. I’ll just take care of it myself.” *storms out of the office*