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Category: Money

Promo Is Too Slow-Mo

, | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Money, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work for a very large, well know fast food company. I am a manager, and coupons can only be taken off by a manager. Every single time there is a coupon I have to put in a code. Every. Single. Time.)

Me: *in the front of the store filling orders*

Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

Me: *runs to opposite end of the store to take it off*

Me: *goes back up front to correct a customer complaint*

Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

Me: *knows line can’t move until I take it off, but I can’t leave the customer*

Me: *finally takes off the coupon in drive-thru*

Crew Member #2: “I need a promo!”

Me: *runs back to the front of the store*

(The phone rings. It’s a customer inquiry.)

Crew Member #1: “PROMO, PLEASE! AND I NEED A DISCOUNT!”

Crew Member #2: “Can I get a promo?”

(I talked on the phone while bagging orders while promo-ing off the front order, then ran to the back, still picking up the food items I needed on the way, promo-ing that off while still answering a customer’s question while having the headset on to make sure my drive-thru people are taking the correct orders. Needless to say, I left the coupon button on automatic for the rest of the day. Coupons are a lot more work than you think. F*** that s***!)

A Lack Of Branding Understanding

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I’ve just finished ringing up a whole shopping cart’s worth of groceries for a customer. As usual, I tell her the total and ask if she has any coupons. She hands me a stack of over 20 of them. When the first one doesn’t scan as valid, I start checking her bags to see why the system isn’t recognizing the coupon.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t see the [Yogurt Brand #1] yogurt that’s here on this coupon. You only bought the [Yogurt Brand #2]. Is that right?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “Okay, because the coupon is only valid for [Yogurt #1]. Sorry.” *handing it back to her*

Customer: “Yeah, I know, but I don’t like [Yogurt #1]. I like [Yogurt #2].”

Me: “Well, then unfortunately, you won’t be able to use this coupon. Sorry.” *still trying to hand it back to her*

Customer: “Excuse me? Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Umm… well, because you can’t apply one company’s coupon to another company’s product.”

Customer: “But yogurt is yogurt. Why do you care which one I buy?”

Me: “I don’t, but the [Yogurt #1] company won’t reimburse the store for a discount on [Yogurt #2]’s goods. It’s only for that one specific brand, not for yogurt in general.”

Customer: “But I don’t like [Yogurt #1] and I shouldn’t have to pay more just to get the [Yogurt #2] that I like. Just apply the damn coupon already and stop trying to be a coupon Nazi!”

(At this point, I give up and call over the front-end supervisor. I explain the situation and he takes a look at the coupon. He tells her the same thing I did and she starts throwing a hissy fit about not liking Yogurt #1.)

Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am, please stay calm. It’s only 60 cents, so I’ll apply the discount manually, but please remember next time to either purchase the brand of yogurt on the coupon or just buy the brand you like without a coupon.”

Customer: “Finally! Was that so hard?!”

(The supervisor walks away and I start scanning the rest of her coupons. The very next one gives me the same error. A chill goes down my spine, dreading the answer to my next question.)

Me: “Ma’am, did you buy [Cereal Brand #1]? I only see [Cereal Brand #2] on your receipt.”

Customer: “But I don’t like [Cereal #2], so give me the discount on [Cereal #1] instead.”

(Silently appalled, I glare down at the half-inch-thick stack of coupons she gave me.)

Me: “Do… do ANY of these coupons match the brand you bought, ma’am?”

Customer: “I doubt it. I hate those mainstream brands of food. Too many preservatives and glutens. But who cares what I buy? Stop being a coupon Nazi!”

(I call over the supervisor again. He refuses to give any more discounts on her unmatched coupons and hands the stack back to her. Out of nowhere, she smacks his hand away, making the coupons fly all over the floor.)

Customer: “Well, fine. Then f*** you and f*** your store and f*** all you stupid f****** coupon Nazis! Nazis, Nazis, Nazis!”

(She storms away and out the door, leaving her groceries. Everyone at the registers watches her through the windows barking ‘Nazis!’ at every person she passes in the parking lot. Meanwhile, the next customer is picking up the coupons that the woman scattered on the floor in front of him. He hands them to me in two stacks.)

Customer #2: “Here you go. You can take the small pile and put them somewhere. But the bigger pile is stuff I actually have in my cart to buy today, so I’ll be using those coupons.” *faces out the window* “Thank you, crazy coupon lady!”

Acting Bittersweet About The Sweets

| Serbia | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I was working as a promoter for a [Popular Brand] inside a supermarket telling people that they can buy certain items within the brand for a certain amount of money and then receive a gift at the front. I explain this to one woman.)

Customer: “Do dark chocolates count?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly do.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week.”

Me: “I wasn’t aware of that; I worked in a different store last week, but I assure you, you will receive your gift if you buy the dark chocolates.”

(The woman was still suspicious, so I showed her the list of products that I had in my hand.)

Customer: “What about the one for cooking?”

Me: “Yes, that one counts as well.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week!””

Me: “Again, I know nothing about that.”

(I show her my list again.)

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It’s around [price], but if you look over there, just a couple of meters away, you’ll see the exact price.”

Customer: “How do you not know the price? You work here.”

Me: “Actually, I don’t work in the supermarket. I don’t even work for [Popular Brand]. I work for a marketing agency that was hired by the brand. I work in different stores every week and the prices vary.”

Customer: “You know, I’m older and, therefore, wiser, so I’ll forgive you this time, but there are all sorts of idiots out there that are going to make a fuss about something as trivial as this. I would advise you to try and do your job a little better next time. But it’s okay.”

(She kissed me on the cheek, smiled a fake smile, and walked away without the chocolates.)