Category: Money

Someone Buy Them A Clue

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(Customer orders two entrees and uses a buy one, get one free coupon.)

Me: “Okay, so your total is [price].”

Customer: “Excuse me? Don’t I get one for free?”

Me: “Yes, you do, so you’re getting two and only paying for one.”

Customer: “But it says free.”

Me: “It says buy one, get one free. You have to buy one first in order to get one for free.”

Customer: “Wait, what? What does that mean?”

Me: “It means you owe me [price].”

Dyscalculating How Understanding They Would Be

| USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

(I have dyscalculia, basically dyslexia but for numbers. Among some other issues this causes, I occasionally speak numbers in the wrong order, especially if I’m working quickly. Usually the customer and I will laugh it off, but not this guy…)

Customer: “Two packs of [Cigarettes].”

Me: “You got it.” *scans cigarettes and totals purchase to $19.42* “Your total is $14.92.”

Customer: *swipes card and follows prompts, but stops when he reaches the “confirm your total” screen* “What’s this?”

Me: “Oh, that screen asks you to confirm your total before completing the purchase—” *the customer hits “no” and the register returns to asking for payment* “Oh, looks like you hit no. The sensors in the touch screen are a little—”

Customer: “You said my total was $14.92, not $19.42! You’re trying to rip me off!”

Me: “Did I? I’m sorry, I must have misspoken. The cigarettes are $9.71 each after tax, so for two of them it’d be $19.42. I can get your receipt to you, too, if you like.”

Customer: “I’m not paying more than $14.92 for these. This is false advertising!”

Me: *starting to get annoyed that what should be a minute long transaction is getting so out of hand* “Before taxes, the cigarettes are $8.99 per pack. Even IF the register was wrong, which it’s not, I just misspoke, so the total would still not be $14.92. I can sell you the cigarettes for the price they should be, sir, or I can cancel the order, but I cannot sell them to you for less than the cost plus tax.”

Customer: “This is an outrage! You said $14.92!”

(He reaches across the counter and shoves the two packs of cigarettes off it and to the floor, before storming out.)

Me: *after a moment of shock, I cancel the order and put the cigarettes back on the shelf* “Well… next in line, please!”

Making A Complete Glass Of Yourself

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Wild & Unruly

Lady: “Excuse me, but I sat on my glasses in the car and I’m on my way to a wedding. Is there anything you can do?”

Me: “Did you purchase your glasses here?”

Lady: “No, I’m from out of town.”

Me: *feeling bad for her since she is going to a wedding and we all like to see* “Well, let me take a look, ma’am. The way these frames are bent, it is very likely that they will break if I attempt to adjust them. We can’t be held liable if that happens…” * I go into our legal spiel thing we are required to say* “…if you decide to take the risk I will be happy to try and straighten the frames out for you, free of charge.”

Lady: “Oh, please, just go ahead. I won’t be able to see otherwise!”

(I do and the frames break as I predicted.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, it looks like the metal was just too stressed to be bent back the other way. Tell you what, let me see if we have any frames that will fit your lenses and I’ll give them to you.”

(This is crazy super nice of me, but I know I can get away with it and hey, she is going to a wedding and I am a sentimental 20-year-old girl. She agrees, and all is well. I find 5 frames that will fit her lenses. She refuses ALL the frames.)

Lady: “I want frames EXACTLY like my old ones!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but since you didn’t purchase your glasses here, we don’t appear to have that exact frame. I’m willing to GIVE any one of these five frames too you so you can make it this wedding.”

Lady: “No, no, no. I want my old ones. Can’t you fix them?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the metal is broken. If you really want those frames you might take them to the jeweler located in the mall. They might be able to solder the earpiece back together. I think it’s about $30 for that kind of work.”

(She agrees that would make her the happiest. An hour later she is back.)

Lady: “Here is my receipt; I’d like to be reimbursed now.”

Me: “Umm… We don’t do that, ma’am. It was your choice to have me attempt to fix your frames and as I explained they were probably going to break. It was your choice to refuse the frames offered to you and go get those repaired instead.”

(She goes ballistic. It escalates to my manager, and then to her demanding the number to corporate, which I give her. They tell her the exact same thing. She is escalated her up I don’t know how many times. Each time she receives the SAME answer. Finally she slams the phone down and whirls to face me.)

Lady: “Not ONE of you is LISTENING! I don’t want your stupid company to pay my $30! YOU are the one who broke my glasses! YOU OWE ME $30 OUT OF YOUR OWN PAYCHECK!”

(I am floored. upset, and about to call security.)

Me: “I work THREE jobs to put myself through school, ma’am! And I can’t even afford to eat but once a day! So where exactly do you think I will find $30 to give to someone who SAT ON THEIR OWN GLASSES?!”

(She saw security behind her and huffed out the door without another word.)

Making A Signature Mistake

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer is paying with a credit card.)

Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

Customer: “Oh, of course. Here you go.”

Me: “Thank you. You really should sign the back of your credit card, you know.”

Customer: “Oh, I know. I leave it blank, so if it gets stolen, nobody can copy my signature!”

Me: “What’s to stop them from simply signing your name with their handwriting, and using your card?”

Customer: “Well, then they… Uh… Hm. Can I borrow a pen?”

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 10

| UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(I work for a well known supermarket delivering groceries to customers at home. As delivery drivers we are given a fairly wide range of power when it comes to refunding customers. We can more or less give away stock at the door providing its worth no more than about £5. That means if I deliver some milk and you aren’t happy with the sell-by date printed on it, I may just give it to you for free. Some customers however seem to think I can push this to insane limits. Customers have asked me to refund and allow them to keep £20 worth of meat produce. But perhaps the most memorable one for me was a customer had ordered a large and expensive bottle of scotch — probably £70 shelf price. The customer found fault with the fact that the cardboard box it came in had been squashed slightly.)

Customer: “This really is unacceptable, I mean this was supposed to be a gift, and look at it.”

Me: “I understand completely; this is very disappointing. I’m sure. I can obviously refund this for you.”

(The customer gets a triumphant look in his eye.)

Me: “I just need to scan the item to issues the refund.”

(The customer hands the bottle over and I scan it and return it to my trays.)

Customer: “Oh, no! I want to keep it!”

Me: “Oh, okay. then let me just cancel that refund.”

Customer: “But I want my refund, too!”

Me: “I am very sorry, but I can’t do that for you. The cost of this item is far too high for me to give it to you for free.”


Me: “Yes, for low value items we have some leeway, but I simply can’t allow you to not pay for an item that costs over £60.”

Customer: “Oh! I can’t just keep anything I want and not pay?”

Me: “No, you can’t. That would be theft.”

Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 8
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7

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