Category: Money

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 61

| PA, USA | Money

(A customer calls, asking me to ship a few items to her house.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we’d be happy to ship those items to you. You’d need to pay the Fed Ex fees, but you will get your [difficult to find clearance merchandise].”

Customer: “You mean I have to pay?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, you have to pay for shipping.”

Customer: “What about UPS? Would they charge to ship?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Every delivery company has shipping charges.”

Customer: “Well, can you put it on hold for a few weeks? I’m going on vacation and I don’t have any money now.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we cannot do that. Unless you pay, you cannot store merchandise for weeks.”

Customer: “But I don’t have any money now…”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 60
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 60

| West Hartford, CT, USA | Money

(I work for an insurance company, and it is my job to meet with people to assess their life insurance needs. In order to do that we have to find out some background information about their personal financial situation. Today, I am at one potential client’s house doing just that.)

Me: “So now that we’re on the topic of debt, do you have any debt to speak of?”

Client: “Well, I have my mortgage, so that’s 350,000, and I have my car loan and student loans, so together that’s probably another 50,000.”

Me: “Is that all the debt you have?”

Client: “Yes. Well, besides my credit card debt and some I owe to the government.”

Me: “Oh, how much do you have in credit card debt?”

Client: “Well, between my husband and me, about 340,000 in credit card debt. But we don’t worry about that because we don’t pay the credit card companies any more.”

Me: *pausing to think of some way of explaining that you have to pay debt or risk going bankrupt* “So, you mean to tell me that you owe credit card companies over 300,000 dollars and you aren’t paying them anything?”

Client: “That’s what I just told you.”

Me: “Well, you can’t just not pay your debts. If you absolutely can’t, you can go bankrupt, but that will ruin your credit, and you won’t be able to buy that boat you were talking about buying, or finance any other major expense.”

Client: *completely irate* “HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO! GO BACK TO YOUR HOLE, YOU… YOU… YOU GARGOYLE!”

Me: *taken aback by being called a gargoyle, but keeping my cool* “I think we might be done here. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Client: “I’M GONNA CALL THE COPS!”

Me: “Goodbye, ma’am.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57

The Story Isn’t Worthy Of The Magazine

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a large supermarket chain which releases a new free magazine for customers each month which includes recipes as well as information about new products we sell and promotions we are running. The magazines are very popular and, as each store only gets a certain amount, and there is no limit to how many a customer can take, it’s not uncommon for us to run out before the month is over. This takes place the day the new magazine has come out.)

Customer #1: “I love these magazines! Would it be all right if I took three?”

Me: “You can have as many as you would like!”

Customer #1: “Awesome!” *jokingly* “I like to sell them on the black market!”

Me: *jokingly* “The trick is to wait until we run out, then you’ll make a killing!

(After Customer #1 has left, Customer #2 puts at least ten of the magazines in his bag.)

Customer #2: “I can’t believe idiots pay money for these! I can’t wait to make millions!”

Me: *laughs as I think he’s joking*

Customer #2: “I bet I can get at least $50 per magazine!”

(Out of morbid curiosity I later checked online. It turned out he tried to sell a free magazine online and got no bids. Clearly he thought free magazines would be a hot selling item at $50 plus $10 shipping each.)

Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A customer comes into the store and comments her bills are higher than they should be. She has looked at her bill and it’s saying she’s calling people she doesn’t know. I sit the customer down and log into her account.)

Customer: “I’ve just seen my bill and it’s £50.”

Me: “The last abnormally high bill you had was three months ago.”

Customer: “No it says it’s £50; I looked before I came in.”

Me: “Do you mind showing me how you are viewing your bill?”

Customer: “No problem.”

(She starts by clicking the link in her text to view her bill, and then proceeds to click on the link to use the app. Once in the app store, she then showed me where it showed me her bill and the random people she had called. Turns out she had been viewing the example photos of how the app worked.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59

| Ashland, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “So I want to do $40 cash, and the rest on my debit card.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(I put the cash through, same as any other order, and then…)

Me: “Okay, go ahead and slide your card now.”

Customer: “But I left it at home.”

Me: *stunned* “You left it at home?”

Customer: “Yeah… Wait, you mean I need to bring the card with me to use it?”

Me: *speechless*

(Thankfully, a manager nearby overheard the exchange and jumped in…)

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, you need to bring your card. We can’t use a debit card that you don’t have.”

Customer: “But I have a debit card! Are you telling me I can’t use my card? Why can’t I use it?!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to come back with your card.”

Customer: “But I have a card!”

(This went on for a good minute or so. The manager ultimately wound up voiding out the second half of the order, telling the customer to come back *with her card* to pay for it. Afterward:)

Customer: “Make sure you don’t put that stuff away! I’ll be back! *leaves*

Next Customer: *shakes her head*

Me: *still speechless*

Bagger: “So… how much you want to bet she doesn’t come back?”

(She didn’t come back. That second half of the order? Mostly frozen food.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

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