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Category: Money

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I Tyre Of These Questions

| UK | Money, Transportation

(I’m one of the sales guys at a caravan dealership. A customer asks me for a part exchange value on his caravan against a new one.)

Customer: “It’s absolutely pristine! Like new.”

Me: “Okay, as you don’t have the caravan with you, I can give you a value by asking you some questions on an appraisal questionnaire we have.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(There are lots of questions on the form but I’ll cut to the most entertaining ones.)

Me: “How are the windows? Any cracks? Scratches?”

Customer: “No, no… Oh, one of the front ones has a stone chip hole in it.”

Me: “Okay, how about the furniture inside? Tables, work surfaces all okay?”

Customer: “Yes, all good… Oh, the work surface has a dent in it.”

Me: “Okay, how about the tyres? Are they less than five years old?”

Customer: “I’m not prepared to answer that.”

Me: “Why? They have a date code so we can check them.”

Customer: “Are the tyres on the caravans you sell less than five years old?”

Me: “Yes. If they are older we change them for new ones before we sell the caravan.”

Customer: “Oh, right, do you? Well I’m not prepared to say.”

Me: “Okay, has your caravan been serviced recently?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know when it was last serviced?”

Customer: “When we bought it.”

Me: “When was that?”

Customer: “2012.”

Me: “Okay, based on what you’ve told me, your caravan would have a trade in value of £[amount].”

Customer: “What!? That’s nowhere near enough! It’s pristine!”

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In Receipt Of Dumbness

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

(I am working late night at the fuel center. One customer pulls up to the pump and a girl — the customer’s daughter, I assume, who looks to be anywhere from 9 to 11 years old — comes to the window and hands me a ten dollar bill. I set the pump for ten dollars. The customer only pumps $9.54 and the same girl returns to the window.)

Me: *hands her 46 cents* “And that’s 46 cents back. Thank you. Have a good night!”

Girl: *slowly takes the change and stares at me*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry did you need the receipt?”

Girl: “I gave you ten dollars?”

(Just to make sure I pull up the previous transactions and double check.)

Me: “Yes, dear. And she only pumped $9.54, so you get .46 back.”

(She fixes me with a skeptical look and rushes back to the car. I see the mother, the girl, and a younger girl outside the car and all three of them march up to the window.)

Woman: “I paid ten dollars!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but you only pumped $9.54, so you get back 46 cents as change.”

Woman: *getting irritated* “I paid ten dollars!”

Me: *sigh* “YES, and you pumped 9.54 and hung up the pump so you get change!”

Woman: “Why would I not get all ten?! I PAID ten!”

Me: “You HUNG up the PUMP after ONLY PUMPING $9.54. Would you like me to set it for .46 cents?”

(They turn to leave; I take a deep breath and turn the speaker volume all the way down.)

Woman: *to her daughters* “Come on, this b**** is dumb.”

(I finally lose my cool and crank the volume.)

Me: “EXCUSE ME, ma’am, but I do not appreciate being called that, or hearing that kind of language used in front of CHILDREN, no less.”

Woman: “What is your name!?”

Me: “[Full Name]! At least I can count!”

(I saved the receipt for that transaction and told both my supervisor, the service desk clerk, and the manager on duty what happened. I didn’t hear another word about it.)

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Contracting Expectations

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I’m the biller for an upscale retirement home. The children of some of our clients help pay for the expenses, and in this case, the children have just decided to stop helping financially.)

Daughter:  “So we’ll need to renegotiate my parents’ rent to something they can afford on their own.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our rates are not negotiable. And since your parents are already in the smallest unit, we don’t have an option that would be cheaper for them. You may need to find them a cheaper place to live.”

Daughter: “What?! I’m not moving them to some cut-rate hell-hole! We chose this place because it’s the best in town. My parents are planning to live here for the rest of their lives.”

Me: “And I’m planning to charge the contract rate for anyone living in that apartment. Guess which one of us is going to get what they want?”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

, | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a bank. My caller does not understand why the $2500 cheque she deposited was returned, and now she owes the bank.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, the cheque was fraudulent, and there was nowhere to receive the funds so we had to withdraw the money from your account.”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay back if the cheque was a fake cheque?”

Me: “…because you spent all the money.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I did not know it was a fraudulent cheque.”

(This is BS, because she withdrew $2000 as soon as she deposited and then another $500 the next day.)

Me: “Yes, but you still spent the money, so you should go back to the person that gave you the cheque and ask him to give you a new one. Then you can simply deposit it again and you will be fine.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I don’t know where to find him since he left the country, but I don’t think I should be paying this money back because it was not my fault.”

Me: “Ma’am… did you spend the money or did someone else?”

Customer: “I spent it.”

Me: “Then you have to pay it back.”

Customer: “F*** you.” *hangs up*

Related:

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53

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Needs To Change Your Change Tactics

| Cheshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I’m volunteering at a charity shop. Most of our customers are elderly or middle-aged. On this particular day I’m helping another volunteer put a picture up when a man in his early twenties comes in. He looks around for just a minute or so and grabs a card from the stand at the front of the shop.)

Man: “Just this card, please.”

Me: “Of course. Do you want a bag to put it in?”

Man: “Whatever.”

Me: “Just £1.00 then please.”

(The man takes a note out of his pocket. I take it and start to sort out the change and pass it over to the man.)

Man: “Wait a minute, love. I’ve got some right change here if it’ll help you out. If I give you some coins back can you give me a note?”

Me: *feeling a little confused* “Erm, okay. That won’t be a problem.” *I count the change; I realise he’s left me short* “Sorry, I need another £1 coin.”

Man: “Really? Okay. Tell you what. I’ll give you some coins to make that right. You just give me my money back and we’ll be even, right?”

Me: “Okay.”

(I feel uneasy but give him the money, and he starts to rifle through the notes he has again.)

Man: “Actually can you change this for me instead?”

(He’s leaning over the counter, is quite intimidating, and I am starting to realise something isn’t quite right.)

Man: “I just want my change!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’ve given you the money you need.” *I close the till*

Man: “But you still owe me change!”

Me: “I can call my manager down to deal with your request if you like?”

(I called upstairs to the manager and told her to double-check the change I had given the man. She came down to confront him and he looked shifty and decided to just leave, despite me “owing him change.” I told the manager everything that happened and she checked the till – he had somehow taken £10 from us, and had tried to take more. We reported him to the police and found out he had tried this on in a few other shops, including a well-known supermarket where he’d threatened the cashier. I later found out that this was a short-change scam or change-raising scam, where the scam artist confuses the cashier to get their money back plus extra. I printed out a warning and left it in the staff room. A few months later another man came in and tried the exact same thing. I said no, closed the till, they caught him on camera leaving the shop, and he was taken in by the police.)

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