Category: Military

By Land, Air, And Crazy

| Military

(Note: I’m an Air Cadet packing bags at a store in return for donations.)

Customer: “So, what are you collecting for?”

Me: “Air Cadets, ma’am.”

Customer: “Army cadets, ‘ay?”

Me: “No, ma’am…Air Cadets.”

Customer: “I used to be an Army Cadet. I loved being on them big old boats.”

Me: “I think you were a Sea Cadet.”

Customer: “Well, anyway, I’ll always donate to the Army Cadets. Stop them d*** Air Cadets from ruling the sea!”

Me: “But ma’am…we fly, not sail.”

Customer: “No, that can’t be right! It was them d*** sea cadets that did that flying business. No, air cadets were the ones who were always crawling through mud.”

Me: “But ma’am, I–”

Customer: “Well, this should give you enough to buy a new sail. I don’t know why I donate so much, you know!” *hands me an old three pence piece*

The Aircraft Carrier Kind of Gives It Away

| Military, Uncategorized

(This was at a government office on a Navy base.)

Me: “***Program Office, *** speaking. Can I help you?”

Caller: “Can I speak to the homeowner?”

Me: “Sir, this is a naval base, not a residence.”

Caller: “Are you sure?!”

Military Intelligence, Part 3

| Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Military, Tourists/Travel

(I work in an English branch of a US coffee chain. Because we’re a naval town, US navy ships always stop here and the sailors come in for ‘a taste of home’…)

Me: “Hello, what would you like?”

Sailor 1: “One of your chocolate frappuccinos.”

Me: “OK. What size do you want?”

Sailor 1: “Erm… can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Yeah, go on then.”

Sailor: “Are your frappuccinos made with ice, like they are back in the states?”

Sailor 2: “Yeah, good point man!”

Me: “Yes, yes they are made with ice.”

Sailor 2: “Is that British ice or do you get it, like, flown over from the States so it tastes the same?”

Me: “…”

Sailor 1: “Dude! Yeah! Is it going to taste the same as it does at home?!”

Me: “Why don’t you try it and let me know?”

Sailors 1 & 2: “Yeahhh…”

(Their ship was over for about a week and true to their word, they came back to inform me that their drinks did in fact taste the same as they did back home.)

Related:
Military Intelligence, Part 2
Military Intelligence

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