Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

H2-Slow, Part 10

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work at a car dealership which operates an automatic car wash that is free to people who have purchased a vehicle. One extremely cold winter day, a young woman in an SUV stops near me with a question.)

Woman: “Hey, why isn’t the car wash open?”

Me: “Sorry, miss, the wash closes when it’s this cold out because the wash doesn’t dry the cars. When the cars come out wet, the water freezes on the way home and folks often get their doors and windows frozen shut.”

Woman: “That doesn’t make any f****** sense! Don’t they use HOT water?!”

Me: “…Are you under the impression that hot water can’t freeze?”

Woman: “Whatever.”  *drives off*

Related:
H2Slow, Part 9
H2Slow, Part 8
H2Slow, Part 7

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Math & Science

(A sorority full of girls calls in with one girl as the primary contact, unable to connect to their wireless router. First, as I’m verifying the address:)

Customer: *…[digit], [digit], [digit], one slash two.”

Me: “So that’s [full number] and a half.”

Customer: “NO, one slash two.”

(Later on while troubleshooting:)

Me: “So how many devices are you trying to connect wirelessly?”

Customer: “Well, we have seven or eight devices total, but only two are ‘wirelessly.’ The rest use the wifi.”

Me: “…”

Related:

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 15

Counting Up The Idiots

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(I’m a supervisor at a well-known department store. I am ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so that’ll be $20.24.”

Customer: “But the sign said it was on sale for $24.99.”

Me: “Okay… but it’s $20.24.”

Customer: “BUT THE SIGN SAID $24.99!”

Me: “Sir, 20 is cheaper than 24.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s cheaper? Okay.”

Me: “…”

The Sun Never Sets On Ignorance

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Several highways intersect at our small town. It is morning. People tend to get turned around easily.)

Customer: “Does the sun always rise in the north here?”

Me: “…”

Their Math Education Came At A Discount

| Aurora, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(My work has a toilet on sale for $189.00, which is a 40% discount. Most people are very pleased with the deal and I personally have sold quite a few.)

Customer: “Why is this on sale?”

Me: “It’s just a deal that we came up with for our customers.”

Customer: “Is it damaged?”

Me: “No, sir, not at all. This is only a display model, as well. You will be getting one that is boxed.”

Customer: “What if I want this one?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s a display model. Displays are not for sale. You get one in a box, straight from the maker.”

Customer: “That is just weird.”

Me: “Well, the display model gets touched by hundreds of people. The one you get will be nice and new.”

Customer: “What about the price?”

Me: “It’s a great deal. It’s 40% off!”

Customer: “That’s it?”

Me: “Sir?

Customer: “That doesn’t seem like that great of a deal.”

Me: “Well, sir, the original price is $315, so you would be saving $126.00 on it.”

Customer: “Can I pay $126 and still get it?”

Me: “No, sir. You would still owe me over $60 dollars.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because the price is $189.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense. It’s $126 off so that is what I should pay. That is my offer.”

Me: “We don’t sell things by offers, sir. We sell them by the listed prices. The item is 60% off, which makes the price $189.00. It is a huge discount from the original price.”

Customer: “But I made my offer.”

Me: “Yes, but we don’t sell things by best offer. We sell things by our prices. The price is $189.00.”

Customer: *pulling out his phone and using a calculator app* “But $126 is only 40% off! So your 189.00 is way higher than what you think! So because you are wrong, I should get it at $126.”

Me: “Sir, discounts don’t work that way. You subtract the discount from the original. 315 minus 126 is 189, making it a 40% discount. To pay $126, you would be receiving a 60% discount.”

Customer: “That is not true! Give me the discount you advertised!”

Me: “That is what I am trying to do.”

Customer: “Liar!” *storms off*

Next Customer: “Was he really unhappy saving over a hundred dollars?”

Me: “Apparently, yes.”

Next Customer: “Well, I think it’s a great deal. I’ll buy two for my house, as long as you ring it up!”

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